DAVID: Donny Darko, because he is hot and I like the way his Adam’s apple moves when he talks

JAMIE: Janeane Garafalo, because she’s not too skinny, and a skinny person can’t play me.

ELAINA: Joan Crawford, because we have the same moon sign.

RIO: Al Pacino, because he was badass in “Scarface.”.

STEVEN: Richard E. Grant, because he’s hilariously funny, and no one else could portray me better than him.

LIZ: Pam Grier, because she kicks ass as Foxy Brown and carries a gun in her hair.

JAREK: An unknown because I am an unknown.

SCOTT: David Bowie, because he’s the only one that understands my complex emotional range.

LINDA: Meryl Streep, because I spent my 50th birthday flying over the plains of Africa.

TODD: Campbell Scott, because he’s quirky, funny and has a nice butt.

MATT: Jackie Chan, because I like a good ass kickin’.

MICHAEL: John Malkovich, because no one else could portray the weirdness of my being.