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The hobo-like outfits, face paint, and outrageous behavior are the trademarks of a number of Northwest residents who dress like clowns for fun and mayhem. Seattle is home to two clown groups, the Temple of the Necronomiclown and the Kooks Club, and there are dozens more worldwide.
While he claims they have no leader, Skids the Clown is often the most outspoken clown in their ranks. He insists one doesn’t become a clown: you’re either born a clown or not. “There comes a time in every clown’s life when you realize you’re a clown. Then you either hide from your true destiny, tucking your real self back into the deepest, darkest corners of your mind so as not to lose your job, spouse and everything else that goes along with being human, or you come out of the closet, don your war paint, and attack the rational paradigm like a rabid pit bull attacks a housebroken lap dog.”
I asked Skids about the clown uniform. Are there Do's and Don't's? Do clowns make fun of each other’s fashion faux pas? He explained, “Making fun of each other (and ourselves) is just what we do. For a clown, that’s just a fact of life. No amount of fashion accessories can change that. I often get made fun of because, unlike most clowns, I have regular human-sized feet. There is a sort of renegade clown tribe that insists on uniform, specific styles of colored hair and certain types of tattered, dirty, ill-fitting clothes. They’re called ‘Punk Rockers’ And they won’t let us play pinball at Shorty’s.”
World domination? Probably not, admits Skids. He says clowns would “have already taken over this festering shithole that some people call civilization if it weren’t for the fact that approximately 100% of us are too drunk and lazy to get our shit together.”
For more clowning, check out necronomiclown.com and kookclub.com.
CULTOMETER
Uniforms: 9
Charismatic Leader: 5
Devotion of Followers: 9
Group Rituals: 6
Overall: 7.5
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