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According to countless television ads, any number of hair replacement techniques will lead to a more stimulating sex life, professional satisfaction and loads of self-confidence. Mimi (not her real name) has been a hairdresser for over ten years, with five of those years working in a Seattle salon that deals with hair systems, a popular non-surgical method of cosmetic hair replacement.
Mimi, how does a "hair system" work?
We take a template of the bald area, and the existing hair color and curl is matched to chemically-processed human hair. The hair is then sent to China where it is sewn into place, shipped out, applied to the client with a polymer adhesive and then cut to integrate with the client’s existing hair.
Ah. How much?
It’s about $1,000, and lasts anywhere from six months to a year. They need to be re-bonded and adjusted every four to six weeks, and there’s an extra charge for that.
Where does the hair come from?
The hair itself is usually from an Indian or Russian person. All hair system salons get their systems from a handful of companies in China. They can only do the job for about five years before their eyesight goes to shit. Then they become supervisors if they can still see.
That’s an interesting chain of hair events.
Yeah. Hair harvested in India, goes to China, is shipped to the United States then glued on to some bald Indian guy in Seattle.
What’s the deal with hair? Why do people feel they need it so much?
Basically to look younger. It gives them that competitive edge. These guys feel like they need hair. They are so funny. They come in all cocky and they’ll hit on me. Then you take off their hair and they get all insecure.
Is it mostly a male clientele?
Yes, but we do have female clients as well, who have experienced hair loss due to illness or radiation. One client of mine went on a crash diet and lost all her hair. Another went to Mexico and got a really bad perm that burned her so badly that she was left with scar tissue on her scalp.
Oh shit.
Yeah, so never get a perm in Mexico unless you want to shop for a hair system later.
So you get all kinds.
Yep. One client of mine was this crazy homeless heroin addict whose mother would pay for his hair system. You would think if you are addicted to heroin and you stink and your clothes are all shitty that your hair would be the least of your worries.
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