The first time I saw Seattle band the Valley they took over a small stage in a fairly empty club and simply laid down the rock so loud and heavy I was floored. Their music hit on some crazy sonic level like Godheadsilo used to, where you not only hear it, but you feel it vibrating from the stage, across the floor and through your body. I think I actually felt queasy at first....MORE

During a speech class in high school, it was with a racing heart that I stepped on stage and told two jokes I’d found on the Internet. The first was: “How are a bowling ball and a woman alike? You can pick them up, stick your fingers in their holes, throw them in the gutter, and they always come back.” ...MORE

These days, most people are repulsed by the idea of clown sex, but this wasn’t always the case. There’s a long, hard, throbbing history of interspecies commingling between humans and clowns. ...MORE

"It's your right not wanting sex with me." ...MORE

By Three Imaginary Girls

FEBRUARY 2
Visqueen/The Cops/Dark Sergeant @ Neumos

FEBRUARY 8
Citizen Cope/Marc Broussard/David Ryan Harris @ Showbox

FEBRUARY 12
The Mountain Goats/Crystal Skulls/Black Mountain @ Crocodile

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By Ian Sherman

1. There was a statue by the Moscow Metro stop called Kitai-Gorod where men would gather. There was a basement-level toilet nearby where they would fuck. I went on a June evening, when the sun was still strong in the sky, but the toilet was closed. ...MORE

This month’s question: Who would included in your ideal threeway?...MORE

Seattle Behind the Bars
With Nate from The Pacific Inn ...MORE

Portland Behind the Bars
With Andreas May from Squeez ...MORE

By Miranda Pinero

I love you. No really, I do. Not you in the specific, as you may or may not be some kind of dog-kicking, child-beating, elderly-dementia-sufferer-fucking home care aide (or a Republican) but in the general, plums, I love the hell out of you....MORE