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Leisure is dead. Don’t get buried along with it.
---A go-getter
Ditch the Dannon, dodge the Kix, chuck the chicken
noodle, and GO! Join the rest of us, we who GET THINGS DONE,
unhampered by the inefficiencies of sitting down to eat.
Think of the time you’ll save: No lingering over the
morning news, ferrying crunchy nut clusters from bowl to
mouth, bowl to mouth, bowl to mouth, your spoon dumbly
dribbling milk, soiling your dumb, slow paper. (See, messy
too!).
Following is a sample menu, beginning with breakfast and
concluding with a bedtime snack, preferably consumed not in
bed but while on your feet, jogging in place, say.
BREAKFAST
General Mills Milk 'n' Cereal Bar, Chex
Rice Chex crunched and caught up in marshmallow. Virtually crumb-free
(thank the mallow). Packaging claims filling is made with
real milk, but I taste vanilla frosting, which is good. Time
to completion: 1 min, 10 sec Yoplait Go-GURT Portable Yogurt, Banana Split
It’s
yogurt in a tube and it’s named after dessert. At a skinny
2.25 ounces per fistful, you may like three. Time to
completion: 40 sec
LUNCH
Campbell’s Soup at Hand, Velvety Potato
Not only is
it microwaveable, it’s modeled after a toddler’s sippy
cup. I would like to change its name to Velvety Butter, but
I’m not sure if that’s alluring or repelling. Drink up,
big kid. Time to completion: 2 min, 5 sec
General Mills Milk 'n' Cereal Bar, Honey Nut Cheerios
The
bee’s back—faster, better. Time to completion: 1 min, 8
sec
DINNER
Campbell’s Soup at Hand, Pizza
Soup that calls itself
pizza. Hardly convincing, but the grease that won’t be on
your hands is. Time to completion: 1 min, 45 sec
Yoplait Go-GURT Portable Yogurt, Chill Out Cherry
You’re
getting so much done! Still, don’t forget to breathe
(read: chill). This stuff’s marketed to kids? So what—you’re
back on sippy cups, remember? If you’re going to live
fast, you’ll have to revert. Time to completion: 44 sec
Hershey’s Portable Pudding, Chocolate
Go-GURT with
decadence. Squirt. Time to completion: 36 sec
BEDTIME SNACK
General Mills Milk 'n' Cereal Bar, Trix
They just keep
comin’. Time to completion: 1 min, 14 sec
Total time to completion: nine minutes and 22 seconds.
What would you do with all that time saved? Train for a
marathon? Raise a child? Maybe you’ve got a novel or two
in ya, huh? “Live each day like it’s your last,” it’s
been said. Don’t go out with a fork in your hand.
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