Oscar Night Medley
Billy Crystal is long gone, but the Academy Awards medley need not be! The Tattler sings of 2012’s best films.
The 85th Academy Awards are being hosted by Seth MacFarlane this year, leaving open the real possibility that they will not feature a parodic opening medley with all the names of the Best Picture nominees, and even if they do, it will be performed by Seth MacFarlane, which is a big problem. To my mind, this medley has to be performed, and it has to be performed by Billy Crystal, otherwise the whole thing is unofficial and nobody really won, like how if they don’t lift you up in chairs at your wedding, you’re not really married.
And yet! As Tablet Magazine is a place of wonder where dreams come true, I have somehow been allowed to write and perform my own Crystal-esque Oscar medley in the style of my idol Marc Shaiman, which I hope will mitigate some of this disappointment.
I know. It’s insane. But here! It! Is!
Musical direction by Rich Silverstein, our official accompanist. Sound engineering by David Gould. Give it a listen (and when you hear my voice, please pretend you are listening to Patti LuPone.) Lyrics appear after the jump, but spoiler alert, the jokes get spoiled if you read them.
What if Lincoln, Life of Pi, and other Academy Award-nominated films got sequels starring Jewish characters?