Oscar Night Medley
Billy Crystal is long gone, but the Academy Awards medley need not be! The Tattler sings of 2012’s best films.
So let the polar icecaps melt
Let the Aurochs come from the Arctic shelf
Give the Oscar out to a 6-year old today
’Cause you can’t stop the beasts!
I dreamed a dream
I dreamed it for you, Annie
It’s gonna come true, Annie
You thought I was through, oh but Annie:
Pull the tooth!
Shave the head!
Nineteen years just for stealing some bread!
Who am I? Jean Valjean.
Jackman, everything’s Les Misérables
Haul the boat! Wince with pain!
Whack your head on that wall by the Seine!
Singing live, camera’s on
Russell, everything’s Les Misérables
But she can do it!
Bring the golden guy home!
Anne can do it!
Fantine is gonna see to it!
Sell the hair! Poor Cosette!
Then lose thirty-five pounds on a bet!
You were swell, like on Glee
Ask Adele, she’ll agree
And so you’ll hear the Oscar goes to you!
Because everything’s Amour and Lincoln and Life of Pi
Argo and Playbook and Django—unchain that guy!
Zero Dark Thirty and Beasts of the Southern Wild
Everything’s Les Misérables on this Oscar night!!!!!!!
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What if Lincoln, Life of Pi, and other Academy Award-nominated films got sequels starring Jewish characters?