Your email is not valid
Recipient's email is not valid
Submit Close

Your email has been sent.

Click here to send another

A Prayer for Deadheads

On a quest for Jewish soul at the ‘Blues for Challah’ Grateful Dead Shabbat retreat

Print Email

The weekend’s enthusiasm, buoyed by ceremonial wine and end-of-Shabbat merriment, had been channeled through us into Rabbi Shur. We wanted Wavy to recognize him, and us, as special. We were eager to hear about their mutual adventures with the Dead, but more than that, we wanted this clown prophet to convey to us some great truth, to give our attentions meaning and importance, to tell us why we were here. A woman standing with me at the back of the room eagerly held up her phone and set it to record.

But something wasn’t working. The audio was delayed and choppy, their conversation hopelessly stilted, and it was nearly impossible to understand Wavy’s responses. The two old friends—Wavy in his tie-dyed T-shirt and jester cap, the rabbi in his suit—no longer seemed to have much to talk about. Wavy was huge on the screen, and the rabbi looked so small. I felt a tinge of anxiety wash over the room, the apparent recognition of a kind of existential thinness. Jerry was dead; the band was over; Wavy Gravy was a flavor of ice cream. What did it matter?

***

10 p.m.
Dead Jam—Great Hall

And then it passed. The rabbi and the clown traded a few jokes, others came forward to ask questions more or less hopeless in nature—“If you could have us teach our children one thing, what would it be?” “How do we take our own negative impressions and turn them into something positive?” “What advice do you have about the Middle East?” The crowd dispersed. Rabbi Shur, his son, and a few others gathered their instruments and started to play. Others danced, their bodies flailing to a free-form move a high-school friend and I had mockingly nicknamed “The Judo Pizza-Man.” The musicians played for hours. They sang the songs they knew; the songs that offer them a brief respite from individual moments of fear and pointlessness and the anguish of mortality.

I hadn’t been sure if it was because of Shabbat that Leib had been cagey before, but now in the lounge, as the tunes poured out from the adjoining room, he told me about the 10 years he’d spent following the Dead from town to town, earning a living selling jewelry made from stones purchased in Israel and Greece. Touring became difficult when his oldest daughter—who’d been to 50 shows, all told—got to school age. And there was a greater fissure—over the course of his Deadhead-dom, Leib had become a Hasid. It was a gradual process. At first he treated Dead shows as outside the bounds of Jewish law, but soon he stopped going on Fridays unless he could get a non-Jewish friend to carry his ticket and meet him there. Then he stopped going on Shabbat altogether. His “touring wife” died, and he remarried.

Leib insisted his Judaic practice was not mutually exclusive with being a Deadhead, but it was easy to see it had complicated the picture. What he did not seem to acknowledge was how similarly he adhered to the two ideologies. Both required complete devotion. Leib had gotten a degree in art, and then another in math. He was a purist. He gave in to a deep-seated inclination toward obsession, that bottomless drive to track out for some ephemeral sense of internal alignment. By the end, the Dead weren’t giving Leib everything his soul required, and what the band couldn’t provide, he found in Torah study. “I hope the Jewish education I’m giving my children is everything they need,” he said, in a voice almost dismissive of his earlier self, “and they don’t have to go looking for it in the Grateful Dead.” I gave him leave to go partake of the jam. I still wasn’t entirely sure I believed him.

***

Sunday, 2 December 2012, 12 p.m.
And We Bid You Goodnight: Closing Circle—Great Hall

The next morning, after more seminars (on psychedelics in the Bible and “The Kabbalah of Bob Dylan”), we all gathered in a circle, holding hands, and voiced our thoughts about the weekend. Everyone was glad to have been able to share this moment. I wasn’t used to being more than an onlooker in this sort of thing and found that I had nothing to say. I offered the first thing that came to mind, which was that I was happy to have gotten to know them. Beth choked up to think of what it had meant for her husband to be here, and for her to be here with him. Then she cajoled me into letting them give me a ride to the station in their Dodge Durango. Jon was in a hurry and seemed irritated by his wife’s magnanimity. We arrived early and I paced the parking lot, alone. The train came. I sat down and surveyed the car, which was empty. I pulled out my notebooks, fighting lethargy and relaxation of focus to begin capturing my thoughts. I plugged in my headphones and started to write. I was glad to be heading home, back off this bus that wasn’t mine, anyhow.

***

Sign Up for special curated mailings of the best longform content from Tablet Magazine. Fiction, features, recommended reading, and more:

1 2 3 4 5View as single page
Print Email
61n61 says:

This corpse has been picked clean folks. The Grateful Dead were the most thrilling and astonishing rock-n-roll band I ever had the pleasure to interact with, BUT those days are long since gone. Listen to the tapes, share & exaggerate your stories & adventures, but really, it’s time to turn the page. The Jewish connection to the Dead is just like everything else about the Dead, a uniquely American Musical experience.

We Jews liked the Dead for the same reasons our gentile friends did. They were, for the most part, just so spontaneous & good, & seeing them, for the most part, was so much fun, & if you happened to catch them on a particular night, they could just be transcendent. I take them w/me wherever I go, but go we all must, including the Dead. Life (& yes, death) beckons, & it doesn’t get any easier. Who knows, maybe, like the song says (w/poetic license), we’ll all meet again at the Jubilee, & if that Jubilee don’t come, maybe we’ll all meet again together, on the run.

Hey, a guy can hope . . .

Read Edward Macan’s Rocking the Classics. In it he looks at the religious-litantical aspects of 1960-70′s rock concerts. He’s dead (pun intended) on.

when will it end? in the early 80s, classic rock refugees were flocking to this sixties revival scene, already nostalgic for what is thankfully long gone. enough!

Nicole Bennett says:

If you think Kevin`s story is nice, , a month back my brothers mother in-lw earnt $6628 grafting a eighteen hour week from home and there buddy’s step-sister`s neighbour has done this for 5 months and recieved a check for over $6628 part-time on there labtop. the instructions on this link, jump15.comCHECK IT OUT

Either, you lived through the, 1960′s, or you try to recreate what you think was experienced by my generation. My, reading gave me the feeling that, EST, has morphed into group meetings of, Dead Heads, etc. Oral history and written history, changes with the story-teller or the written word. We, were a generation, impacted by, war, civil rights, and good music. Money generating, events using the history of the, 1960′s, are a product of successor generations. There, may be some truth in the saying, “If you remember the, 60′s, you weren’t there.” I, can also understand the adults of my generation who were disappointed with this seminar. My, mind wanders to the author, Thomas Wolfe, who is often quoted as having said, “you can never go home again”. Does, this quote ring a bell?

Marc Delman says:

If the spark is not there no matter where you look you will not kindle it. The 60′s have passed and Jerry is dead. While the music does sing on, hear it for what it is, the deeper you listen, the lesser it becomes.

Plumbline says:

Israels future is with the Lord……..
Zechariah 12:8-10……….

8 In that day the Lord will defend the inhabitants of Jerusalem; the one who is feeble among them in that day shall be like David, and the house of David shall be like God, like the Angel of the Lord before them. 9 It shall be in that day that I will seek to destroy all the nations that come against Jerusalem…………

…………….10 “And I will pour on the house of David and on the inhabitants of Jerusalem the Spirit of grace and supplication; then they will look on Me whom they pierced. Yes, they will mourn for Him as one mourns for his only son, and grieve for Him as one grieves for a firstborn.

Something was happening, but you didn’t know what it was, did you, Ms. Liebenthal?

Jessica Shimberg says:

Isabella Freedman is an amazing retreat center doing wonderful things to reconnect Jews to Judaism – spirituality, Torah, embodiment, the earth, music, social justice, the cycles of time and seasons. This is a disappointing article …

I always enjoy reading reprts of something by someone who doesn’t get it, doesn’t want to, resists with every ounce to get it and comes away – surprisingly (sic) – unaffected. But Tablet is nothing if it isn’t the master of irrelevant, empty, shallow and superficial articles.

On whatever level and whatever way one connected to/with the Dead, there was SOMETHING there, otherwise it would not have been able to endure as long as it did and impact on the remarkable diversity of people. Kinda like Yiddishkeit. But to ‘get it’ whatever ‘it’ is, you have to want to. You have to invest yourself.

As one wades through her bitterly cynical reportage, clearly it was not about the Dead and/or Yiddishkeit. It was about them. But there has to be something larger than the sum of it’s parts. Because there was an ‘it’ before there was a ‘them.’ Kinda like Torah and Yiddishkeit. What we have in this author is one who is scared stiff to be humble enough in any way to learn something she doesn’t know and understand. She doesn’t want to invest herself, always remaining on the margins of life. She’s not even living vicariously through others. And she doesn’t even observe it on its own terms. She wasn’t even there. Indeed, she doesn’t yet even exist.

This seems to me a definition and description of American Jewish life: Shallow, superficial, distant, uninterested and if otherwise, seriously narcissistic, defining everything in terms of ‘me’ rather than than unfearful integrity-laden ‘it.’

So, there is One, Who Is,Was and Will Be, before there was/is an us and after we’re not any longer. Without confrontation with what Was before an us and Will be after an us, there is no learning, no wisdom and understanding. Yeah, I’m talking about – no, please don’t say it – God, HaShem.

As the wise person said: “You’ll never understand what you don’t want to know.

And finally, about the the Torah of the Dead. You’ve heard of ‘The Tao of Pooh’? Well there is a ‘Torah of the Dead.’ Here’s a notion that might illuminate it for you. I’ve done about 200 Dead shows and am still a serious Chossid of Jerry and the Dead. And wear my DeadHeadedness with pride, not caring about what others think of me. At a show in Chicago in ’90, a ‘tourist’ – local but suburban college student; mostly dull and shallow and of course, cynical – asked me what will I/we do after Jerry’s gone. I thought of Mt. Sinai. What will be after we leave the Mountain? Well, we had/have the Torah. It endures, 3700 years later. It invites and insists upon being renewed through constant reinvestigation. As it contains the Infinite knowledge, wisdom and understanding from/of the Ayn Sof, it must and only requires as us to make it live as if it was today.

So I told this kid, that because the Dead facilitated the taping of shows, there are a couple of thousand of them, always new and different, to encounter and therefore to bring newness to us. And there you go. To quote Ram Dass: “Any consciousness space I’m suck in, even if it’s it a good space, is stil bad, because I’m stuck. And to be stuck is the worst space to be in.”

So what can continually take me beyond myself? Something that has the spark of Infiniteness and foreverness deep within. Like Torah. And like the Dead.

64kdn says:

What an empty, mean-spirited story. This writer would not have gotten on the bus if she’d had the chance, and is certainly not on it now. For a much smarter take on why some people love the Grateful Dead, read Nick Paumgarten’s article in the New Yorker from a couple months ago.

larryx says:

the author is a pretty good writer, but i get the feeling that each little vignette instead of just scratching the surface, could have gone a lot deeper.

i suggest 100 micrograms and a dark star loop for 8 hours, topped of by the other one, and finished with a nice lovelite!

it sure is disappointing to read an article as long as that and never feel a breakthrough— a fine journal piece, but tablet- do we really need more cynical reporting? for those who don’t like the dead, do they need another article to “prove it?” Or is the reporter just trying to make the point that “sometimes the lights all shinin on me, and other times i can barely see?”
One point of the Dead- is that they lived for a long time, alongside their fans, their music their ups and downs. And with the day in and day out of touring, just like that of spiritual practice- there are occasions of breakthroughs that punctuate years of practice. The dead were masters of ritual obervance- waiting for the moment, but not pushing it, just sensing, vibing, waiting with a non-commercial patience that reflects the wisdom of simply living. Simple people that allowed the mundane to occasionally open up and offer communion with the innefable that flows “between me and the Jewish people as an eternal sign.” Thats a lesson that Jewish practice tries to offer in all those cliches our rabbis tell us too.

dalewynn says:

This piece is genius.

It’s sad when someone bases their “opinion” about the Dead on their few albums. It’s like the difference between looking at a translation of the siddur and experiencing an exalted davening experience.

The communal, familial, multi-dimensional experience of a live show or series of Dead shows was indescribable. The continuity of songs, lyrical memes and stories, friends encountered – the flow and mood of an entire tour, all of these things also felt like the Jewish year, one holy day linking to the next one in a dancing sequence of connection, music, reflective thought, and beauty. That was never captured on the albums.

As someone else in the thread said, though, the Grateful Dead experience doesn’t happen any more, not exactly. For a hint of what it was like, you can listen to hundreds of good recordings of live shows on archive.org. Listen to the crowd noise at some of the concerts. Those are very happy people.

Seems like Jews that “got” the Grateful Dead experience are almost obligated to somehow translate that into Jewish practice and into their communities. Like when I use the “Ladyfinger dipped in moonlight” obligato for the Shabbes Musaf Tikanta Shabbat – but more than that too – more people need to let down their peyot and see the light between the letters

It’s sad when someone bases their “opinion” about the Dead on their few albums. It’s like the difference between looking at a translation of the siddur and experiencing an exalted davening experience.

The communal, familial, multi-dimensional experience of a live show or series of Dead shows was indescribable. The continuity of songs, lyrical memes and stories, friends encountered – the flow and mood of an entire tour, all of these things also felt like the Jewish year, one holy day linking to the next one in a dancing sequence of connection, music, reflective thought, and beauty. That was never captured on the albums.

As someone else in the thread said, though, the Grateful Dead experience doesn’t happen any more, not exactly. For a hint of what it was like, you can listen to hundreds of good recordings of live shows on archive.org. Listen to the crowd noise at some of the concerts. Those are very happy people.

Reb Moshe, before I read this post, I really wanted you to come and shine your light at the next B4C, which creates a space for lots of people to have deeply meaningful experiences that are deeply personal and varied, some are totally amazing, some are more ambivalent. That’s okay in a community of respect. But now I’m not so sure. Are you more interested in putting others down including the entire ‘american jewish community’ or in raising up and bringing honor to Gd? I think you’re likely a really good guy, I’ve certainly heard as much from others. If you want to talk about it or get involved in a constructive way, my email is adamsher@isabellafreedman.org

tcohen1267 says:

A well written article discussing a phenomenon unknown to the multitudes (and B4C certainly qualifies) should not simply be dismissed because readers feel the author doesn’t get “it.” First of all Ryann Liebenthal clearly was affected enough by her experiences at B4C to invest countless hours [days] typing 5 pages of carefully organized and occasionally brilliant commentary on the event and her keen observations. None of us have her upbringing, education or particular paradigm from which she writes, so who are any of us to react with anything approaching venom or disgust. And Tablet simply provides a forum for writers to express their views and observations, particularly as they relate to Judaism and Israel…so again, I am having a difficult time understanding the ill will many seem to have directed at this gracious host. If the Grateful Dead and their community have taught me anything on this journey, it is to respect and love your fellow man (and to appreciate good music). I agree that Ryann clearly seems to miss the boat on connecting with the Dead and with her own faith, but we all know many people who fit that bill…in fact, I am willing to bet a majority of the people we all know fit at least half of that bill.
All in all, I am glad to have stumbled across this piece and to have invested the time to read it, reflect and join the discussion. That is what authors like Ryann should hope for when plying their trade, and that is what makes communities like the Jewish community, the Grateful Dead community and yes, the Tablet community so compelling…the very idea of community, of shared ideas and experiences, of common bonds and history and best of all, a forum to discuss, recount, relive, embellish, and honor those who came before us, who sacrificed for us, who wrote the books and lyrics, who changed the course of history, and who, despite any differences, were and continue to be inextricably bound to the same basic principles, traditions, customs and songs as generations of others.
They love each other. We should too.

A little long but I get it.

The enthusiasm and sacredness that many people imbue the dead with stems from the sacredness with which shabbat is regarded but no longer has an outlet because of the complications of modern religion.

I would personally compare the dead and other similar pop culture phenomenons, especially those which take on a mystical quality (albeit with drugs and music) to the temple service.

Although the dead show was the shabbat- the culmination of the road trippin’ free love dead lifestyle. In this way it is a microcosm of shabbat and should remind us that truly Hashem made this world for our enjoyment and that is it’s destiny.

2000

Your comment may be no longer than 2,000 characters, approximately 400 words. HTML tags are not permitted, nor are more than two URLs per comment. We reserve the right to delete inappropriate comments.

Thank You!

Thank you for subscribing to the Tablet Magazine Daily Digest.
Please tell us about you.

A Prayer for Deadheads

On a quest for Jewish soul at the ‘Blues for Challah’ Grateful Dead Shabbat retreat

More on Tablet:

In San Francisco and in Palestine, It’s Time To Grow Up and Take Responsibility

By Liel Leibovitz — From smashing Google Glasses to rejecting peace talks, failing to understand natural rights is leading to some very dark places