Your email is not valid
Recipient's email is not valid
Submit Close

Your email has been sent.

Click here to send another

The Man I Married

My husband isn’t the same man he used to be. But that’s OK: I’m not the same woman he married, either.

Print Email
Related Content

An Object of Desire?

As an Orthodox woman, I relish the freedom from ogling that modest dress offers—but it’s nice to be admired

Letting My Daughter Go

When my daughter got married at 20, I worried she was too young. But I was the one who wasn’t ready.

Making a Jewish Home

I’m engaged to a non-Jew. We plan to build a Jewish family, even if it won’t look exactly like the one I grew up in.

When I had been married for a little over a year, a neighbor made a confession to me: “My husband is not the man I married.”

Young, naïve, and perplexed, I asked what she meant. “When he was on call one night and coming back late, he was in an auto accident,” she told me. “He’s been different since then. His personality changed totally.” I was surprised to hear this; they seemed happy, had two children and a beautiful townhouse filled with lovely art in a vibrant city. From my perspective as a graduate student married to a graduate student, living in three rented rooms filled with furniture from IKEA or things we had inherited from deceased relatives, her life looked pretty good. But clearly, there was an undercurrent of sadness and disappointment in her life that I could not yet fathom from my youthful perspective.

Now, as my own 23rd anniversary approaches on June 3, I can finally understand. My husband hasn’t suffered an unfortunate accident, had a sudden change of personality, or undergone an unforeseen emotional shift. But after 23 years, I know that my husband, too, is not the man I married. Then again, I’m not the woman he married, either.

***

When I met the man who has become my husband, it had been almost a year and a half—an eternity for a college student—since I’d had a boyfriend, or even a date. I desperately wanted to meet someone. But I was going to Israel in four short months for my junior year and had ultimately decided that I’d certainly meet someone of interest there, so I didn’t much care what happened to my dating life in the meantime. One Saturday afternoon in April, I went for a walk in Riverside Park with a friend, and we bumped into a guy playing Frisbee. He was in the Jewish Theological Seminary’s Hebrew production of Yankim ArurimDamn Yankees—with my friend. He was skinny and handsome, with a head full of thick, beautiful hair and gorgeous blue eyes. We talked, and, though he was friendly, he didn’t seem all that interested in me—which I found out later was because he liked my friend, who did not reciprocate his feelings in the slightest.

I tried again, remembering where he said he studied in the JTS library; I went looking for him one day at lunchtime, pretending my careful plan was a coincidence. We did have lunch, and enjoyed each other’s company, but once I told him I’d be leaving for Israel soon, any budding interest he might have had waned entirely. Somehow, I had the courage to call him with the (valid) excuse that I’d been asked by a Columbia student group to give a speech about havdalah—since he was a rabbinical student, I asked, maybe he could help me? He did, though I would have managed perfectly well on my own if I didn’t seek an excuse to call him. He came to hear my talk, and, when I was nervous walking from my dorm to the sundial in the middle of Columbia’s campus, he put his arm around me. Instantly, I felt comfortable.

We dated over the end of spring and summer, not planning for our relationship to become at all serious since I was leaving in the fall. Over the summer we grew closer and more serious, but decided it made the most sense to date other people since we would be separated for a year and it wouldn’t be fair to tie each other down when we had only known each other only a few months.

That year we were apart, he and I used to make tapes, actual cassette tapes (I am dating myself here), and mail them to each other. I would walk around Jerusalem in 1987 and ’88 with my now impossibly clunky-seeming Walkman and my future husband’s voice in my ears, telling me about his classes, things he was thinking about, and what was going on in his life. I remember walking up Aza Street to the Great Synagogue on King George to hear Avivah Zornberg give her classes on the Torah portion of the week. In a thoughtful gesture, he sent me Milan Kundera’s The Unbearable Lightness of Being after I told him that Zornberg had referenced it in one of her classes, and it was hard to access English books in Israel in those pre-Amazon days.

A year after I returned from Israel, we got engaged.

He loved Billy Joel and the Beatles, and comedy recordings of all persuasions, a legacy from his Grandpa Dave who loved to tell jokes. He was a slight hypochondriac, and we joked about the bulging medicine kit he needed to bring even to travel for short periods. We loved to discuss current events and intellectual matters, Jewish texts and modern novels. He knew way more about Shakespeare than I—a future comp lit Ph.D.—did, and his religion major in college gave him a great deal of knowledge about the minutiae of almost any major religion that the rest of us have no clue about. That’s the man I stood with under the huppah.

***

Twenty-three years later, he still has all his hair, which is barely flecked with gray. (I can’t say the same for my increasingly salt-and-pepper locks.) And though he has gained a bit of weight and rarely wears the jeans I found so attractive when I met him, he is still devastatingly handsome to me.

He still loves Billy Joel and the Beatles and has some kind of satellite radio with all kinds of comedy to listen to as he drives to the homes of patients he sees as a hospice chaplain. He can still tell a joke extremely well to an appreciative audience; the late Grandpa Dave, of blessed memory, must be kvelling in absentia every time a good Jewish joke hits its mark. He knows even more about religions of all stripes, working regularly with a huge variety of patients of all religious backgrounds; whenever our kids have a question about other people’s religious practices they are referred to their Abba. We still both read and discuss current events and books we read, and helped each other prepare classes for the recent Tikkun Leil Shavuot. We generally have a discussion about some aspect of the week’s parsha, if only for me to suggest sermon topics or him to help me with a column I am writing. We spent a Shabbat together—sans offspring—to hear Avivah Zornberg speak in a nearby city last year and generally get to see a Shakespeare play, somewhere, every year.

But other things have changed unexpectedly. I never imagined the illnesses he’d face, and their gravity. He has a bad back and isn’t always able to do all kinds of physical things that were once simple tasks. This recent recession has hit us hard, and we’ve faced troubles over jobs and housing that now cause him insomnia, which is only exacerbated by the noisy CPAP machine he now needs to sleep. That medicine kit he used to have has grown larger, as has the number of physicians he consults regularly, to manage various medical issues.

He is certainly not the man I married. But unlike my neighbor from all those years ago, I don’t see this as a crisis. Because he’s not the only one who’s changed.

I, too, have gained weight since our wedding day and don’t exercise as often as I should. I’d thought when I married that I’d get a Ph.D. and teach full time at a university and do my own nonacademic writing on the side. I do have a Ph.D. and have had teaching jobs, although I am not currently employed at a regular one with a regular paycheck. I don’t make much money as a freelance writer, and for this I feel guilty: I could be helping the family more if I earned more. But I have a contract for one book anthology and a sequel, and interest in my first novel from a publisher and an agent, and have been working steadily on a second. I have a flourishing freelance career, even if the work produces much less compensation than I’d like. And my husband is patient with me, excited for my gradual successes, and hopeful for my dreams of eventual publication.

***

For my most recent birthday, the man who is not the man I married surprised me with four dance lessons for us to take together. I’d thought it would be a chance to put on heels, a skirt, and lipstick and go a bit wild to salsa tunes, but many participants came in jeans and sweats, and most of the class was spent going over the steps without music. Moving backward, forward, and to the side, in proper pattern and sync, we needed to get all the moves together smoothly before we were ready for music. Mostly, we just shuffled around until the music went on at the end of class; after an hour of rehearsal, we danced to music for five minutes, gliding around, staying in step together, not crashing into any other couples. This seemed like a metaphor for our life together—many lovely moments of music and gliding, punctuating the dreariness and chores of the vast majority of everyday existence.

Though I am still a horrible dancer with a tin ear, I relished that gift of fluid movement in the dance class and those moments of gliding in step, quick-quick-slow, to the beat. The unexpected loveliness and grace that came in those moments, like having the piano music of my daughter practicing fill the house as I make dinner or clean up afterward, make me grateful to be with the man I did not marry.

In The Unbearable Lightness of Being, the question of es muss sein—“it must be so”—appears in various keys. Must it be so? Or not? “Love lies beyond ‘Es muss sein!’ ” Kundera writes. There is no unilateral “must be” in love, I believe; remaining in a partnership, unexpected changes and all, is a choice that must be made deliberately and hopefully.

Our expectations, that a person will be a certain way or appear at a particular time, can create the most unhappiness for most of us. Once we accept that we can be happy with who our spouse is, and who we are, while still committing to change and improve (yes, I will start swimming more now that summer is here), we may find those feelings of disappointment fading away. I do know that my neighbors of my youth are still married and grandparents, despite their not being who they were under the huppah.

The parsha we were married on, Beha’alotekha (Numbers 8-12), contains the possibility of a second Passover; if one can’t bring the sacrifice on the 14th of Nisan one has another opening to bring it the next month, on the 14th of Iyar. Opportunities to achieve closeness and connection, the Torah seems to be saying, are never lost forever and may be postponed to a later date. The process of letting go of expectations, of enjoying what comes to me whether I expect it or not, is not natural for me. I don’t want to agonize about the ways in which my husband and I are not the people we were as bride and groom; part of maturity is the process of letting go, acknowledging my lack of control even from the time we met. Though my husband isn’t the man I married, nor I the woman he married, we can enjoy each other for who we are now, noisy CPAP machine and all. I didn’t think I’d meet my husband when I did, or that I would enjoy dancing with him so much, klutz that I still am. Nothing in life must be so: It is only our efforts to find and cherish what is lovely and unexpected, not worries about what a spouse must be, that will bring us joy. And hope that this acknowledgement of the need to let go of control over those we love prepares us to watch and wait as our eldest goes off on her own adventures in Jerusalem this fall.

***

Like this article? Sign up for our Daily Digest to get Tablet Magazine’s new content in your inbox each morning.

1 2View as single page
Print Email

It is interesting that I read your article when yesterday we had our 34th wedding anniversary. Like you, I gained weight ( a lot….) and like your husband, I have to sleep with the CPAP; I cannot hear its noise because I have become very hard of hearing. My husband never said anything about the noise, I did not know it is supposed to be noisy……

Like your husband, mine too has a physical problem. He cannot use his esophagus any more (6 years already). And whereas our friendship began years ago because of a common interest in excursions in our country (Israel) and traveling in Europe and even the USA with our three children, this is past without a future.

So in these respects my husband is not the guy I married and I do not look like the girl he gave the ring under the chuppa.

But these are all external traits, aren’t they? I think that inside you and your husband, I and my husband are still the same persons, don’t you agree? ☺

Wishing you many more happy returns of your wedding anniversary!!

My wife and I will celebrate our 23rd this year. I have had several acquaintances who have left their wives for “younger, newer models”. How refreshing to read your article and realize that there are still couples who enjoy spending their lives together. Thank you for reminding me that the commitment is for life, and all that goes with living.

Michael Walsh says:

Wonderful. Thank you for writing this.

ah, this makes me so happy. thank you. what a refreshing read on marriage.

Anthony Stalder says:

To the columnist: Yeah… so basically you make it seem like you are pretty brave, staying with a man who gets older. You don’t deserve that man. You deserve no-one. You are a shallow monster. You can not present yourself as someone’s wife, when it is plainly clear that your commitment level is that of a teenager. I curse you to a life of illness.

Anthony Stalder says:

She clearly shows that she does not care what’s inside. She wants a healthy and funny husband. She should bring hers to a shelter, and get a younger one.

Funny, he sounds exactly like the guy you married with a few physical ailments.

JustATheist says:

consider yourself blessed .. many don’t enjoy the luxury and privilege of a spouse who is dedicated to family.

Anthony Stalder says:

God what an awful, self-centered person you are. That you even HAD to rethink your relationship with that man because he’s ill makes you a monstrously egoistic and shallow woman. And stop the pretentious name-dropping. If Kundera is still a source of guidance at your age, God do you have selfish First World problems. Stop talking spirituality and make something out of your soul. You really come off as despicably egoistic. And I think you know, and do not care. Do you really deserve your partner? God is too gentle with you. Not sure you deserve anyone judging by this column.

Rachel Miller Solomin says:

I wonderful, thoughtful article. I think many people get married with the idea that they are marrying an unchanging person. However, even after six years of marriage, I can say that both my husband and I are not only different (in many ways, better) people now than the ones we married, but that we are still changing and will always be changing. I have heard numerous people on the eve of their divorces claim that they grew apart… I believe very strongly that many times they grew apart because they started a journey in the same place and didn’t invite each other along for the ride or enjoy the sights along the way. Marriage is an enormous leap of faith because it involves connecting yourself to someone who is as mysterious and changeable as oneself and saying, “this one is worth the risk.” At the same time, it is natural and appropriate to feel a sense of loss–even a small one–at the past selves you once were.

Globis says:

This article makes women look bad. Like most of the other people who have commented, I would agree,its set in a smartly negative light towards the man. It shows a woman’s selfish thinking. When one writes we can understand not just what they have written directly but how they think. A brain stopped in it’s teen years complaining of a man who has helped a woman, from the first story when she used him for her development and he continued to sacrifice for her but she makes many statements of how he is not the man she married because of life’s natural processes that both sexes go through.

Sadly a man is as strong as the woman who he has decided to spend the rest of his life with and so if he has a good wife, most likely he may live a longer healthier life but the opposite is also true. It’s amazing what stress can do to the man, when you only talk about wearing heels and lipstick as important and of life as “the dreariness and chores of the vast majority of everyday existence” and not see the many great blessings you have received from a caring man. You should appreciate what you have now and stop looking for more in academic achievements if it prevents you from enjoying and appreciating the now. I think the article should show how he is exactly the man you married. I recommend a walk in a flower garden,enjoy the colors and scents of the flowers.

Rachel Miller Solomin says:

I hate to be the police here, but I’m just going to quickly point out to you that anyone who is malicious enough to curse another human being publicly should (a) re-think their own motivations (she’s the one who needs to “make something of her soul”? really? she isn’t wishing illness on you, despite your lashon hara), and (b) think about why they are having such a strong reaction to her article. Many people look at their spouses one day and suddenly see the changes which have accumulated over the years and find them awkward, even as those changes are associated with someone to whom they are even more endeared to than when they first were married. I don’t think Ms. Kissileff is shallow for feeling this way, and she certainly isn’t monstrous for doing so.

Anthony Stalder says:

Good to know someone’s colleagues and hierarchy can come with a completely unbiased defense that in no way smells of self-interest. If your check is at stake, would you defend me, too?

The very notion that people die a little everyday, become different as slowly as water erodes canyon, and that one day, all illusions shatter, and you realize your companion is not the same anymore? That realization that you are not either?

That’s called GETTING OLDER. As for this realization in a couple, it would take a lifetime of never, ever reading an good litterature, ever. Couples getting older, growing apart, is a fact of life. If the author REALLY had a big shock when confronted to that, we’ll she should maybe not write such a column; because it’s clear she is very naive on couples problems. I guess what she could have tried to do, is not being so ever-dramatic. (who is that man in my bed?!?). She presented it with lots of schlocky drama- and she was repayed in my own schlocky drama. The very approach of this column is self-centered and melodramatic.

Oh, and, yes, of course, you like playing the police! You would not do it otherwise, and not tell us that you have to force your sympathetic nature. Boy do you sound like a woman who likes to police.

hypnosifl says:

Uh, did you not read the article all the way through? Nowhere does she suggest the changes her husband has gone through have caused her any major problems that caused her to question the relationship, and she is plenty self-deprecating towards the ways she has changed herself over the years. Ultimately she sounds quite happy with their relationship. Some representative quotes:

“And though he has gained a bit of weight and rarely wears the jeans I found so attractive when I met him, he is still devastatingly handsome to me.”

“He is certainly not the man I married. But unlike my neighbor from all those years ago, I don’t see this as a crisis. ”

“[Dancing] seemed like a metaphor for our life together—many lovely moments of music and gliding, punctuating the dreariness and chores of the vast majority of everyday existence”

“The unexpected loveliness and grace that came in those moments, like having the piano music of my daughter practicing fill the house as I make dinner or clean up afterward, make me grateful to be with the man I did not marry.”

“Though my husband isn’t the man I married, nor I the woman he married, we can enjoy each other for who we are now, noisy CPAP machine and all. I didn’t think I’d meet my husband when I did, or that I would enjoy dancing with him so much, klutz that I still am.”

Smita Hopper says:

Thank you. I am struggling in a 11 year old marriage with disappointment at things not being the way I thought they ought to be. And my husband not being who I thought he was or was going to be.

And so, when you wrote “Our expectations, that a person will be a certain way or appear at a particular time, can create the most unhappiness for most of us,” it put into words what has slowly been becoming clearer to me. “Love lies beyond ‘Es muss sein!’ ” is really what I need to remember.

Thank you again, and God bless your marriage!

Anthony Stalder says:

Well, if you did not major in History, of whatever kind, then off to college you go. Because what you just did was reading an article and then regurgitate it as is.
Now, if you can manage 10 books and mix a little of each, then you have what it takes to be a liberal arts major: you know, it is not much more than reading books and synthesizing them.
As for the article, drama begot drama. And I am still baffled than absolutely none of you saw that phenomenon happening to you one day. How can one be so arrogantly naive, well into middle age?
You people baffle me; as for WHY we get comments as unbelievably imbecilic as “I never thought my life would not go according to my grand plans and little schemes” is terrifying. What did you all think was going to happen? DID YOU REALLY HAVE TO WAIT TO BE FORTY OR MORE TO REALIZE THAT!?
I simply do not believe that. People cannot be so childishly narcissistic that they are dumbfouded when life starts taking their dreams away from them? Where do you people come from? Narcissism has it’s downfalls, you know.
ah, media people. What would we do without you?

Anthony Stalder says:

Example given.

charles.hoffman.cpa says:

the likelihood is that between the two of you, you’ve put on enough weight to add a third member to your lovely couple

mark says:

I am married for more than 10 years and my wife is the same wife that i marry. Hopefully she change one day.

Amber Collier says:

like Sheila said, I
didnt even know that people able to earn $7028 in one month on the computer.
did you see this page w­w­w.K­E­P­2.c­o­m

J Paul Monquarter says:

ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?

Anthony Stalder says:

It was a dark joke. Dark HUMOUR, champ. Easy there.

SFMH57 says:

Oy. Too many commenters are thinking too hard about all of this!

Jose says:

I do not know why some people are so quick to pounce on the author about her comment about her husband and her not being the same persons of yesteryear. I think it is quite obvious that she does not think her husband isn’t the same person she married, albeit with a couple more pounds, and instead is merely pointing out, metaphorically, that things change as a consequence to the passing of time.

I also think that challenges can arise in a marriage, and when that love that once brought a couple together has ceased to exist, and there no longer is open communication and commitment, a marriage is almost surely to fail. Challenges, of course, can also be surpassed when the flame of a marriage’s love continues to burn strongly and their commitment to each other has not waned.

Also, though the author, at least to me, does not offer any novel or insightful ideas on the subject of marriage and aging, I nonetheless, enjoyed her piece.

naoma says:

My husband is pretty much the same man I married and I am glad of it. When we met he smoked and I told him “no smoking in my apartment or car.” He quit on the spot and never smoked again. He is a wonderful Father to our daughter and very generous to her. I am sure he will never change and that to me is a GOOD THING. Neither of us
has gained weight nor had any major problems that could not be solved. I am very
grateful we chose each other. More years than I can count. (Math was not my best subject (– joking of course.)

Isabel Herron says:

just as Teresa explained I’m in shock that a stay at home mom can get paid $8593 in four weeks on the internet. have you read this site link w­w­w.K­E­P­2.c­o­m

Tramp2 says:

Until you walk in someone else’s shoes do not be so critical of the author. 5 years into my marriage my wife became mentally ill and while sucessfully treated with medication is an entirely different personality from what I married (partly related to medication)and was attracted to,she was awesome,people deal with things the best they can,I respect her struggle but these are difficult circumstances whether physical,mental,or both.

Sophi Zimmerman says:

I think outward things change but the inward things stay the same. I have gained 80 pounds since we were married almost 35 years ago. His hair went gray long ago. We still cue up the odd Clash or Roland Kirk LP (remember vinyl) and we invariably shout back at the TV in unison. Our love has been an adventure including a miracle child who’s now 22 and we cherish the same while also loving the changes.

Vivienne says:

Agree, they survive and I wish them strength to survive the rest of their years together. Divorce is a such a problem in so many ways.

Tish says:

You’re an ass..

Anthony Stalder says:

I can not deny that.

Tish says:

Well at least That’s refreshing.

abhilyan says:

I just fell upon your article by chance. And though I am not a jewish person, I definitely have a karmic affinity with them so that I have friends of your community all over the world.
And how well you wrote! Not the words, but just the richness of the feelings and experiences came through to make your article sooooo readable.
Keep it up.

Danna Pycher says:

This article touched me as I am not yet married yet have experienced all of this with my current boyfriend. We were dating for 2 months when I was in a near fatal car accident. I was PTSD stricken and handicapped for a very long time and I became a COMPLETELY different person. One day I was the director of online news for a media company and then the next he had to undress me to go to be able to go to the bathroom and we were only dating 2 months when this happened!

He stuck by me and when I wanted to give up he wouldn’t let me. I am now a hypnotherapist specializing in PTSD and chronic illness because of that accident.

The funny thing about our story is that we began dating knowing we were two completely different people with very separate interests. Our differences have allowed us both to grow individually and together.

Him coming into my life the way he did is one of the bigger reasons I began believing in G-d… The two of us have had so many evolutions in our time together that it is truly hard to keep up.. Change is good, it tests us and ultimately brings growth.

mr t says:

my prolem is that i build a house very big one and from first day we meet my wife know we are going to be there in the family as she know i need many children and she we not have all that for me but we are going to have 10 years next year and i still love her alot

masishre says:

Love in the hands of her hand all in love love marriage some conclude

SANDRA says:

I still can’t believe that after all i have been through for the past 4years of not been able to get pregnant that just few weeks after Dr. Ekaka from the ekakaspelltemple@yahoo.com cast a pregnancy spell on me now i am pregnant and looking forward to have my own baby i am so happy and i give all thanks to you Dr. Ekaka. this to this site and also to miss Linda that share her testimony here who help me to find Dr ekaka and now i can also share my here as i have started seeing the good result of his spell.,..

modernhumor says:

With all due respect, this is a rather superficial article.

Richard Haugh says:

I thought this was a love letter about her husband, did I read this wrong? Read some of the other comments and had to comment as just didn’t understand some of the negative comments that had been made. We just had our 37th yesterday and yes we too are different but I think because we have grown, I can only hope better. I think the same in the article. I enjoyed the article, well stated.

Kumar Manish says:

where you insects come from ?

Bardon Kaldian says:

Putting aside personal stuff, it’s life: with time, people get sick & fat.

chhabs63 says:

Beautiful

DJ Mokksha says:

Lovely… i really liked this article …. most people tend to “blame” or “point fingers” at their partner that they have changed but fail to notice the multitude of changes within their own selves. The lines “My husband isn’t the same man he used to be. But that’s OK: I’m not the same woman he married, either.” are such a beautiful example of self realization which pave the way for a great relationship. God Bless !!

nageendra prasad says:

like wives of most men from middle class families , my wife of over 35 years still thinks the same way she was thinking at the time we got married , that money only matters and status symbols are posh , well furnished house , latest model car , good bank balance and plenty of free time to go to hotels , cinemas / picnics and outings . she is not content or satisfied that our children are well settled , happy and leading comparetively comfortable life unlike children of most of our relatives / friends who have all they want except happiness . it is just impossible to change the mind – set of xantheppy like ladies .

libra25 says:

So sweet. Love this article and may your tribe increase. :)

GraffitiGoddess says:

I actually know Beth and her husband from the time that they lived in Springfield, MA. I don’t think this is a negative article at all. I would hope that we would all change over time. When we’re young and starry-eyed, without the past as our educator, we have dreams and aspirations that often don’t come to pass. That doesn’t mean that we were wrong, we were just immature.

Almost every couple has some difficulty. If those of you who are 50+ do an analysis of your friends, you will most likely realize that most people have had some serious problems by then.

It isn’t unrealistic to expect that someone with the educations that Beth and her husband both have that they would have secure employment throughout their working years. But Beth as a professor, and her husband as a rabbi havent’ been that fortunate. Even they have had to cobble together jobs to make ends meet.

My husband died almost 40 years ago; he was 40, I was 32. Friends tell me that we would have still been married after 50+ years because they know me. I say I hope so, I hope that I would have made the changes that came with my maturity within my marriage. I have several friends who have been married that long, and who do have good marriages.

I think what Beth wrote is honest. While their value system hasn’t changed during their 23 years of marriage, a lot else has. She is honest enough to say so with humor. Way to go Beth.

My Name is Betty. This is a testimony that i will tell every one to hear. i have been married for 10years and on the 8th year of my marriage, another woman had a spell to take my lover away from me and my husband left me and the kids and we have suffered for 2years until came across a website were i meant a comment on how this man Dr. Stanley helped someone and i decided to give him a try to help me bring my Husband home and believe me i just send my picture to him and that of my husband and after 3day as he have told me, i saw a car drove into the house and behold it was my husband and he have come to me and the kids and that is why i am happy to make every one of you having similar problem to met with this man and have your lover back to your self. His email address: drstanleyspelltemple@hotmail.com,

rachel mayers says:

I NEVER BELIEVED IN LOVE SPELLS UNTIL I MET THIS WORLD’S TOP SPELL
CASTER. HE IS REALLY POWERFUL AND COULD HELP CAST SPELLS TO BRING BACK
ONE’S GONE,LOST,MISBEHAVING LOVER AND MAGIC MONEY SPELL OR SPELL FOR A
GOOD JOB.I’M NOW HAPPY & A LIVING TESTIMONY CAUSE THE MAN I WANTED
TO MARRY LEFT ME 2-WEEKS BEFORE OUR WEDDING AND MY LIFE WAS UPSIDE
DOWN COS OUR RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN ON FOR 2YEARS… I REALLY LOVED
HIM, BUT HIS MOTHER WAS AGAINST US AND HE HAD NO GOOD PAYING JOB. SO
WHEN I MET THIS SPELL CASTER, I TOLD HIM WHAT HAPPENED AND EXPLAINED
THE SITUATION OF THINGS TO HIM..AT FIRST I WAS UNDECIDED,SKEPTICAL AND
DOUBTFUL, BUT I JUST GAVE IT A TRY. AND IN 7 DAYS WHEN I RETURNED TO
USA, MY BOYFRIEND(NOW HUSBAND) CALLED ME HIMSELF AND CAME TO ME
APOLOGIZING THAT EVERYTHING HAD BEEN SETTLED WITH HIS MOM AND FAMILY
AND HE GOT A NEW JOB INTERVIEW SO WE SHOULD GET MARRIED..I DIDN’T
BELIEVE IT COS THE SPELL CASTER ONLY ASKED FOR MY NAME AND MY
BOYFRIEND’S NAME AND ALL I WANTED HIM TO DO… WELL, WE ARE HAPPILY
MARRIED NOW AND WE ARE EXPECTING OUR BABY,AND MY HUSBAND ALSO GOT
THE NEW JOB AND OUR LIVES BECAME MUCH BETTER. IN CASE ANYONE NEEDS THE
SPELL CASTER FOR SOME HELP,CONTACT HIM VIA
EMAIL:prophetjumamaspirituality@gmail.com.

I had already tried three different internet spell caster’s services, but
all the guys i met were jerks and scams, then my friend told me about
Priest Elegbeda., i wasn’t sure anything would come of it, but i thought, why
not take a chance? I cast a Love Spell, and the very next week a gorgeous
guy came up to me at a club and asked me to dance. He is caring, kind,
romantic – everything i always wanted., we’ve been together for six months,
and we’re talking about getting married. I’m a believer!” If you require
any assistance, you can contact him through priestelegbedajagun@live.com,
I CAN NEVER STOP TALKING ABOUT YOU SIR….
CONTACT HIM NOW FOR SOLUTION TO ALL YOUR PROBLEMS

mr james says:

Hi My name is mr james’ i want to share my experience with the world on how i got my love back and saved my marriage… I was married for 10years with 3kids and we lived happily until things started getting ugly and we had fights and arguments almost every time… it got worse at a point that she filed for divorce… I tried my best to make her change her mind & stay with me cause i loved her with all my heart and didn’t want to loose her but everything just didn’t work out… she moved out of the house and still went ahead to file for divorce… I pleaded and tried everything but still nothing worked. The breakthrough came when someone introduced me to this wonderful, great spell caster who eventually helped me out… I have never been a fan of things like this but just decided to try reluctantly cause I was desperate and left with no choice… she did special prayers and used roots and herbs… Within 3 days she called me and was sorry for all the emotional trauma she had cost me, moved back to the house and we continue to live happily, the kids are happy too and we are expecting our fourth child. I have introduced her to a lot of couples with problems across the world and they have had good news… Just thought I should share my experience cause I strongly believe someone out there need’s it… You can email her via greatprincetessolaspell@gmail.com Don’t give up just yet, the different between ‘Ordinary’ & ‘Extra-Ordinary’ is the ‘Extra’ so make extra effort to save your marriage/relationship if it’s truly worth it.

monique says:

My Names is Monique Curry ,AM from United states .i never believed in love spells or magic until i met this spell caster once when i went to Africa in June last year on a business summit i ment a man called Dr Dahiru, is powerful he could help you cast a spells to bring back my love s gone misbehaving lover looking for some one to love you bring back lost money and magic money spell or spell for a good job i m now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 4weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 3 year i really loved him, but his mother was against me and he had no good paying job so when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him at first i was undecided,skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try and in 6 days when i returned to taxes my boyfriend (is now my husband ) he called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married i didn’t believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid and my husband also got a new job and our lives became much better in case anyone needs the spell caster for some help his email address: arewaspecialisttemple@yahoo.com

christabel says:

i am given this testimony because i got my ex back; my name is Christabel am a citizen of Texas USA; three years ago i have a misunderstanding with my husband; which lead to our breakup; me and my little baby which i was carrying suffered because of the absence of my husband; i almost give up when i meet a friend of my who introduce me to a great Dr. i thought it was a joke because my husband was always mad at me any time i called. this great Dr told me that he his going to come back; after the spell cast; i did believe it but one day i hard a knock on my door when i check it was my husband; dr abu (drabulovespell@hotmail.com)

grace kim says:

grace kim
DR CHECK I just wanted to say thank you soooo much for the time that you took with me and helping me to get John back. Through all the phone calls and e-mails, you were there for me and helped me to get him back. God has truly blessed you with a very special gift. Never give up and always continue to follow Gods light as you have been and things will continue to look up for you. Just as you told me, God always watches the actions of every person and makes determinations on their future based upon this. Well, I did my part with the extensive negative releasing spell and kept in contact with you, probably more that I should have. I have been blessed and I am grateful that God put you in my path.You are the perfect spell caster i have never met,you can contact him with this email:templeoflove1@yahoo.com

voodoospellcaster says:

Have you been disappointed in life? Have you lost hope due to your worse past experience?Its your chance to regain your happiness only through a powerful spell caster.

*Is your love life falling apart?

*Do you want your love to grow stronger?

*Is your partner losing interest in you?

*Want your lover back?

*Attract a specific person

*Spells to get married?

*Spells to help a relationship/ stop a divorce

*Spells for bad luck and curse removals

*Spells to boost your financial status

*Spells for winning cases/Justice

*Even spells to get rid of an unwanted lover

Has your problems failed other spell casters and healers to solve? you can contact me for final solution.via email
voodoospellcaster@india.com

I don’t know how you did it, but you did it. My man came back within a
week after you did the Ultimate Return My Love Spell x 3. He finally
dumped that other woman. He said he couldn’t stop thinking about me.
He said he was thinking about me everyday NON-STOP! I still can’t
believe it. I wish I found you earlier before I paid so much money to
other sites and spell-casters. We are going to a concert tonight and
this month we are going to Las Vegas, I think it’s a surprise, because
he’s been talking about marriage lately. thanks to voodoo you
can contact on his email voodoospellcaster@india.com

Drake says:

I am DRAKE from Canada.I never
believe in spells and magic until I
experienced one some times ago and it
really worked for me. I was in love with
this guy and he is in love with me too for
3years and we making preparations to get married but to my surprise,his
parents didn’t want his hand in the
marriage because of the religion
difference. I was about loosing my man
to another lady under the influence of his
parents until I met a spell caster on net that claimed he can help me out.
He
helped me cast a very strong spell that
helped change his parents mind and i
noticed also that my man love for me has
greatly increased. We are happily
married now with kids. People with similar problems can contact the spell
caster on zidditempleng@gmail.com)
He cast spells for different purposes like
(1) If you want your ex back.
(2) if you always have bad dreams.
(3) You want to be promoted in your office.
(4) You want women/men to run after
you.
(5) If you want a child.
(6) You want to be rich.
(7) You want to tie your husband/wife to be yours forever.
(8) If you need financial assistance.
(9) Herbal care
Contact him today on:
at:zidditempleng@gmail.com

2000

Your comment may be no longer than 2,000 characters, approximately 400 words. HTML tags are not permitted, nor are more than two URLs per comment. We reserve the right to delete inappropriate comments.

Thank You!

Thank you for subscribing to the Tablet Magazine Daily Digest.
Please tell us about you.

The Man I Married

My husband isn’t the same man he used to be. But that’s OK: I’m not the same woman he married, either.

More on Tablet:

The Simple Math of an Iranian Nuclear Bomb

By Jeremy Bernstein — In an excerpt from ‘Nuclear Iran,’ calculating, with scientific precision, just how far Iran has come in its quest for the bomb