From a kid’s perspective, the items on the seder plate are, to use a technical term, yucky. Since part of the point of Passover is engaging kids in the story of the Exodus, let’s imagine a seder plate that would retain the symbolism of the original while being far less puketastic.
To refresh your memory: The traditional items on a seder plate are charoset, a fruit-and-nut paste; karpas, a vegetable to dip in salt water; maror, bitter herbs—usually horseradish and/or hazeret, romaine lettuce, or other bitter greens; z’roa, a roasted shank bone or chicken neck; and beitzah, a hard-boiled egg. Whether your child is wise, evil, simple, or unable to ask questions, he or she is sure to appreciate a seder-plate reboot. (Seriously: As a seder game, you might ask your guests what other items could stand in for the familiar items on the seder plate. What, besides an orange, might one wish to add? What modern items could replace the traditional ones? What specific substitutions might be resonant for your particular guests?)
On to our plate: