The Chabad Rabbi who came to my city, was very enthusiastic and his wife is very gracious and they have settled in and are the focal point for a myriad of holiday events; lunch and learn programs and women’s luncheons and too many children’s programs to count.

When the Rabbi’s wife had a baby, I wanted to give them a teddy bear and the book about Padington Bear (the new mother was from England). I mentioned this to a friend, and she told me to forget my plans and choose something else as a gift, as a bear (even a teddy bear) is not a kosher animal, and the family would not permit their children to have toys or books that have non kosher animals in them.

At first I was shocked and saddened. I looked at my numerous bookshelves and the hundreds of books that I cherish. At first I thought, the rabbi’s family must be a very sad place with no children’s books. I thought about all the things that, to my ignorant thinking, made me feel that this couple lead a very dull, dark life.

Then I thought, if they have never known something, how can they miss it or feel deprived of it? As I had the opportunity to get to know the family and their children (they now have four), I discovered they have a wealth of children’s books, videos and toys to play with. They love to listen to music and their children seem playful, happy and well socialized.

I learned a very important lesson:Don’t judge others. I know that this family probably believes that I am not a “good” Jew. I wear pants and short sleeves and I do not keep kosher. Oh, and my husband isn’t Jewish, I am a college graduate and I work full time outside the home.

However, that said, whenever I have attended one of their adult education classes, or attend their monthly women’s luncheon, I am made to feel welcome.