Can you tell the difference between Keith and George?
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Two icons have just published autobiographies of great interest to Jewish readers. The first is the story of a rock star supplied with wholesale amounts of cocaine by a Yiddish-accented Holocaust survivor. The second is the story of a president who turned in his bourbon for chummy chats with Ehud Olmert. Keith Richards’s Life is 576 pages; George W. Bush’s Decision Points is 512. Rather than make you read both (or either), instead play our quiz: Can you guess which is from which? Answers after the jump.
1. “Charlie decided we needed more alcohol to enjoy the experience fully. To our amazement, he was able to convince a stagehand that Willie Nelson needed some beer. The guy dutifully went out and bought the beer with Charlie’s money. Charlie left one case for Willie and snuck one back to us. We hunched over in our seats and drank like thirst-ravaged wanderers.”
2. “I underwent medical tests to prove that I was drug free. … Then Nixon resigned.”
3. “You don’t realize what a weird place you’re growing up in.”
4. “We lived in a tiny apartment and shared a bathroom with—depending on whom you ask—either one or two prostitutes.”
5. “If you are going to f— me, you better give me a kiss first.”
6. “This little bearded Jewish gnome who would sit naked out in the garden and sort of spew down at people who drove by. He was going through his naturist stage, which was a bit terrifying for Long Island.”
7. “I went on racking my memory for a single dry day over the past few weeks; then the past month; then longer. I could not remember one. Drinking had become a habit. I have a habitual personality.”
8. “I can’t remember any sense of fear or apprehension about quitting. It was just, this is what has to be done, and it has to be done now.”
9. “I knew what she was thinking. I had talked about quitting before, and nothing had come of it. What she didn’t know was that this time I had changed on the inside—and that would enable me to change my behavior forever.”
10. “‘Are my testicles black?’”