This week on ‘Millionaire Matchmaker’
Every Wednesday, Senior Writer Allison Hoffman recaps the previous night’s episode of the glory that is Millionaire Matchmaker. For previous Matchmaker coverage, click here.
There comes a time in every young boy’s life when he finds himself at the threshold of becoming a man. Symbolically, that happens for Jewish boys when they turn 13. But in reality, it comes later. Much, much later. Sometimes, never. But that’s where Patti Stanger, the Maharat of Matchmakers, comes in.
So, let’s meet this week’s overgrown children! First we have Dylan Smith, the 24-year-old CFO of Box.net, a cloud-computing service he started with a friend while he was an undergrad at Duke and now runs from offices in Palo Alto, California, where everyone else is, like, 30 and married. Dylan has many things going for him: Along with being a venture capital-backed paper millionaire—the next Mark Zuckerberg, maybe!—he is an avid half-marathoner and a Wiffleball champ and also a committed member of a Rock Band. (As in, the video game.) In fact, Dylan has so much promise that a companion wondered why the kid couldn’t just wait a few years for the hot Russian women to start throwing themselves at him in nightclubs. But, see, the problem is that he’s not getting laid at the moment, and that is what he wants Patti to fix.
Next to angelic Dylan, 28-year-old Hillel Presser looks, frankly, over the hill. But he comes from “the land of Florida,” as Patti puts it, and he’s had to work for his money: He’s an attorney in Boca who specializes in “asset protection,” which is to say, in hiding money from angry exes and jilted business partners. A noble cause! In his spare time, he invests in a company called 1-800-Muffins, which appears to be absolutely exactly what it sounds like. Hillel, who has short, gelled hair and a bit of a gut, volunteers that there is nothing in life that he wants but does not have, except, of course, a girl who looks just like Sloan from Entourage. “I just want a nice girl who likes me for me,” he tells Patti earnestly. “And I wanna be attracted to that girl.” That old chestnut! (more…)