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Daybreak: Security Council Gets to Business

Plus nukes in Prague, sex in the West Bank, and more in the news

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Presidents Obama, Medvedev, and Vaclav Klaus (Czech Republic) this morning.(Jewel Samad/AFP/Getty Images)

• Today sees the first high-level talks among senior U.N. Security Council members—including China—over further Iran sanctions. [WP]

• Presidents Obama and Medvedev signed a nuclear arms treaty in Prague this morning. [NYT]

• More on the Obama Administration’s deliberations over whether to write up its own peace treaty and submit it to the Israelis and the Palestinians. [LAT]

• Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas fired the top aide who is seen on a scandalous tape allegedly extorting sex from a woman not his wife. [NYT]

• An overview of Turkey’s attempts to gain regional prestige and hegemony, in part by cozying up to neighbor Syria. [WP]

Sundown: Take Our Matzoh—Please!

Plus much ado about nothing roses, and more

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• Arab Israelis love matzoh. In possibly related news, sales of prune juice to Arab Israelis have skyrocketed. [AP/Vos Iz Neias?r]

• Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan called Israel the greatest threat to Mideast peace. [Haaretz]

• Israel selected its representative to the 2011 Venice Art Biennale. Sigalit Landau’s contribution will be “based on co-existence on the human plane, and the chronology of settlement in pre-state Israel.” [Haaretz]

• Those roses from a U.S. Christian group that Prime Minister Netanyahu couldn’t accept for fear of offending the American administration? Actually, Bibi’s office said he’d be glad to accept them, and donate them to hospitals. [JPost]

• An Orthodox 15-year-old fencer who previously petitioned not to compete on Saturdays won third place in Cadet level épée at the Fencing World Championships—on a Saturday. [Failed Messiah]

You don’t need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows. Or, if you’re in the northeast, to know how insanely hot it is today.

Wallenberg Lived Longer Than Thought

New info emerges on Righteous Swede’s death

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Wallenberg.( Wikipedia)

The exact fate of Raoul Wallenberg, the Righteous Gentile who saved tens of thousands of Hungarian Jews during the Holocaust before perishing in a Soviet prison after the war, has long been a subject of uncertainty and controversy. For years, the Soviet Union insisted that he died in 1947 in his cell (he was detained in 1945 on suspicion of being a spy, though a 1953 show trial “proved” that he had in fact been kidnapped by Zionists). In 2000, a Russian prosecutor disclosed that he was executed in 1947, and posthumously declared him a victim of “political repression.”

Now there’s a startling bit of news that suggests Wallenberg lived at least a little past when we thought he did. Previously, we were told that he was killed on June 17, 1947. However, according to Swedish researchers, one “prisoner number 7”—believed to be Wallenberg—was questioned on June 23 of that year.

In theory, this could mean that he was killed merely six days after we thought. But maybe more? One of the researchers certainly thinks so: She said it was the most important information we’ve learned about Wallenberg in 50 years.

For the record, Wallenberg is not just a Swede: He is one of only seven Honorary U.S. Citizens.

New Information on Fate of Raoul Wallenberg [Arutz Sheva]

A Female Job, of Sorts

An old Jew tells a joke

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Here is today’s helping of Old Jews Telling Jokes.

Champion Scheyer Could Make B’ball Aliyah

If Blue Devil is undrafted, Israel awaits

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Jon Scheyer, understandably ecstatic.(Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images)

Unfortunately, the Duke Blue Devils defeated Butler Monday night in Indianapolis, Indiana, to become 2010 college basketball champions. (Trust me, it’s unfortunate. It’s like when the Yankees win the World Series.) Which means, more fortunately, that we can extend a hearty mazel tov to Jewish baller Jon Scheyer, the star guard who was the runner-up for the Atlantic Coast Conference’s Player of the Year award.

So, what’s next?

Scheyer’s hometown Chicago Sun-Times argues (via Kaplan’s Korner) that Scheyer’s style of play, which involves great outside shooting and a wonderful ability to move without the ball, is better suited to college than the pros. “The NBA places a premium on athleticism, vertical leap and the ability to create your own shot,” the paper notes: “three things that could keep Scheyer from even being drafted.” (We’d pause to note that former Duke guard and horrible poet J.J. Redick, whom Scheyer idolized and is clearly modeled after, has found great success coming off the bench for the Orlando Magic, playing exactly the way he did at Duke.)

If the NBA does indeed decide to pass on Scheyer? Then, reported Haaretz, Scheyer may travel to the land of his people. “”If he doesn’t make it in the NBA, he’ll be a top player here,” said one Israeli head coach. “He’s a very good shooter, he can play either guard position, and he is a smart player.” So, either way, you can definitely expect continued Scheyer coverage on The Scroll. In case that was a concern.


Is This The End of the Line for Jon Scheyer?
[Chicago Sun-Times]
In An Unpredictable Tournament, Duke’s Scheyer Is One Player To Count On [Haaretz]

Obama Yanks Religion From Security Doc

Tablet profile today explains more

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Obama earlier this week.(Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images)

The current U.S. National Security Strategy, produced under the Bush Administration, states: “The struggle against militant Islamic radicalism is the great ideological conflict of the early years of the 21st century.” But the Obama Administration will remove all references to “Islamic extremism” and other religious terms from its version of the security document. According to reports, the change is championed by Pradeep Ramamurthy, who serves on President Obama’s National Security Council.

If Ramamurthy’s name sounds familiar, it’s because you’ve already read Tablet Magazine Mideast columnist Lee Smith’s piece today. It focuses on Dalia Mogahed, the founder of the Gallup Center for Muslim Studies. Smith specifically notes that Mogahed’s influence at the White House has come largely via … Pradeep Ramamurthy.

Writes Smith:

Mogahed has encouraged the White House to ‘demonstrate an appreciation for Islam’s contributions to the world, rather than simply reassuring Muslims that we believe Islam is peaceful.’ The point that America needs to make, she says, is that we believe Islam ‘is not just benign but beneficial.’ Speaking to the Muslim world as a great undifferentiated throng slights the specific historical and practical circumstances of individual countries but suits Obama’s self-image as a transformative leader, one who calls on different parts of the globe according to how they structure their fears and hopes and premonitions of the eternal.

Read Smith’s timely piece here.

UPDATE: Mogahed responds to Smith’s profile on Tablet Magazine contributing editor Jeffrey Goldberg’s blog.

Obama Bans Terms ‘Islam’ and ‘Jihad’ From Security Document [AP/Haaretz]
Respectfully Yours [Tablet Magazine]
The Most Influential Muslim at the White House? [Jeffrey Goldberg]

Bar Mitzvah Redux

This week on ‘Millionaire Matchmaker’

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(Bravo TV.)

Every Wednesday, Senior Writer Allison Hoffman recaps the previous night’s episode of the glory that is Millionaire Matchmaker. For previous Matchmaker coverage, click here.

There comes a time in every young boy’s life when he finds himself at the threshold of becoming a man. Symbolically, that happens for Jewish boys when they turn 13. But in reality, it comes later. Much, much later. Sometimes, never. But that’s where Patti Stanger, the Maharat of Matchmakers, comes in.

So, let’s meet this week’s overgrown children! First we have Dylan Smith, the 24-year-old CFO of Box.net, a cloud-computing service he started with a friend while he was an undergrad at Duke and now runs from offices in Palo Alto, California, where everyone else is, like, 30 and married. Dylan has many things going for him: Along with being a venture capital-backed paper millionaire—the next Mark Zuckerberg, maybe!—he is an avid half-marathoner and a Wiffleball champ and also a committed member of a Rock Band. (As in, the video game.) In fact, Dylan has so much promise that a companion wondered why the kid couldn’t just wait a few years for the hot Russian women to start throwing themselves at him in nightclubs. But, see, the problem is that he’s not getting laid at the moment, and that is what he wants Patti to fix.

Next to angelic Dylan, 28-year-old Hillel Presser looks, frankly, over the hill. But he comes from “the land of Florida,” as Patti puts it, and he’s had to work for his money: He’s an attorney in Boca who specializes in “asset protection,” which is to say, in hiding money from angry exes and jilted business partners. A noble cause! In his spare time, he invests in a company called 1-800-Muffins, which appears to be absolutely exactly what it sounds like. Hillel, who has short, gelled hair and a bit of a gut, volunteers that there is nothing in life that he wants but does not have, except, of course, a girl who looks just like Sloan from Entourage. “I just want a nice girl who likes me for me,” he tells Patti earnestly. “And I wanna be attracted to that girl.” That old chestnut! (more…)

Today on Tablet

Old-man sex, juvenile Seders, and more

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Today in Tablet Magazine, books critic Adam Kirsch reviews Adam Thirlwell’s new novel The Escape, casting him as a self-conscious successor to the Bellow-Roth mold. After another year of one, parenting columnist Marjorie Ingall wonders if a seder with kids should be quite so focused on the kids. Mideast columnist Lee Smith profiles the quietly influential Dalia Mogahed, who heads up Gallup’s Center for Muslim Studies. The Scroll is back, rested, and ready to break bread with you.

Matzoh on the Road

Ohio with Girls in Trouble

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(Girls in Trouble)

Alicia Jo Rabins is filing periodic dispatches for The Scroll while Girls in Trouble, her four-piece band that plays original art-pop songs about the women of Torah, tours the Midwest. The first installment is here, the second here.

After Pittsburgh, it was on to Youngstown, Ohio, where we played at a lovely new venue called the Lemon Grove. Thanks to our friend Susannah Perlman, we ended up at the Victorian home/vintage clothing treasure trove of Terese. We stopped by her home between soundcheck and the show; the following hour featured all five of us (the band plus Terese) running up and down the stairs, arms full of bejeweled party dresses, feathered caps, boxy leather jackets, and striped suits. Video evidence below. (more…)

Daybreak: The Obama Peace Plan?

Plus the road to a unilateral Palestine, and more in the news

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Palestinian President Salam Fayyad over the weekend.(Musa Al Shaer/AFP/Getty Images)

• The Obama administration is seriously considering drawing up a U.S. peace deal and submitting it to both parties. It would link the Palestinian conflict to the Iran issue. [WP]

• “Self-empowerment” is the byword of Palestinian Prime Minister Salam Fayyad’s West Bank: he is planting trees, starting projects, and burning Israeli goods to encourage self-sufficiency and lay the groundwork for a potential unilateral declaration of statehood. [NYT]

• Prime Minister Netanyahu will attend President Obama’s nuclear summit in Washington, D.C., next week, but will not have a special meeting with the president. [Haaretz]

• A former Supreme Court judge ignited controversy in Israel by publicly condemning the gag order over the treason case against solider-turned-journalist Anat Kamm. [NYT]

• Jordanian King Abdullah II said his country’s relations with Israel were at a post-peace treaty low. Netanyahu’s stubbornness, he argues, requires Obama to be proactive. [WSJ]

• Happy end of Passover. Remember: be careful about the chametz you buy! [Ynet]

Sundown: Cheap Popcorn? What a Bargain!

Plus Fake Philip Roth, Googling Jews, and more

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Tablet Magazine, including The Scroll, will be dark for Monday and Tuesday in honor of the yontiffs. Til Wednesday, have a good weekend and a happy rest-of-Passover.

• A Likud Knesset member plans to submit a bill that would set a ceiling for concessions prices at Israeli theaters. What, we should have to pay a week’s salary for a large Coke? [Guardian/Vos Iz Neias?]

• Philip Roth told an Italian journalist that he is disappointed in President Obama. Except he didn’t. Which means the journalist completely made it up. [The New Yorker]

• An awesome look at Israel’s new Holon Design Museum, which is, in an ironic twist, itself really well designed. [NYT Style Magazine]

• A panel of experts talks to Charlie Rose about the Dubai assassination of Hamas weapons man Mahmoud al-Mabhouh. [Charlie Rose]

• If you’ve ever tried to Google someone famous, then you may already know the joke. If not, you’ll want to see this. [Gawker]

• Jewish fantasy baseball. Naturally, the Brewers’ Ryan Braun goes first in the draft. This video is a bit raunchy, but also quite funny. Have a great Opening Day!

Roses Put Bibi in Thorny Situation

PM rejects U.S. Christian group’s solidarity flowers

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(Flickr)

Following the U.S.-Israel brouhaha over East Jerusalem construction, Christian conservative Janet Porter and her Faith2action—“the nation’s largest network of pro-family groups”—asked listeners to buy a dozen yellow roses each (at a price of $19.48 per bouquet, natch) for Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, as a show of support. And people ended up buying more than 800 flowers for the prime minister!

Did I say more than 800 flowers? I meant more than 800 dozen flowers! That’s … more than 9,600 flowers! At a cost of more than $15,584!

(Oh, and in case you were wondering, yellow roses convey “Joy, Gladness, Friendship, Delight, Promise of a new beginning, Welcome Back, Remember Me, Jealousy, ‘I care.’ ”)

Bibi’s mother no doubt taught him that such money shouldn’t go to waste. Yet a Netanyahu adviser reportedly said the prime minister could not accept the flowers, for fear of offending the Obama Administration at such a sensitive time.

So, basically, a massive geopolitical tension and millennia-old conflict has been reduced to an epic, crappy emo power ballad that might as well be called “My Roses Turned Away.” Which means that the weekend must be right around the corner.

The War of the Roses [JPost]

Vatican Offical Compares Church Critics to Anti-Semites

Church, Jews both ‘victims of collective violence’

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Pope Benedict XVI celebrating Easter yesterday.(Christophe Simon/AFP/Getty Images)

A senior Vatican official told the crowd at a Good Friday service over there that the widespread criticism of the Catholic Church over its alleged systematic cover-up of clerical pedophilia put him in mind of anti-Semitism. “I am following the violent and concentric attacks against the church, the pope and all the faithful by the whole word,” said the Rev. Raniero Cantalamessa, the preacher of the papal household, quoting a letter from a Jewish friend. “The use of stereotypes, the passing from personal responsibility and guilt to a collective guilt, remind me of the more shameful aspects of anti-Semitism.”

(“The more shameful aspects”? As opposed to the less shameful aspects??)

“They know from experience what it means to be victims of collective violence and also because of this they are quick to recognize the recurring symptoms,” he also said.

OK, so before we take totally legitimate and rightful umbrage, Cantalamessa was not saying that the critics’ case against the Church was exactly as unfounded (or founded, if that’s your thing!) as anti-Semites’ case against the Jews. He acknowledged the problem of “violence against children, of which unfortunately also elements of the clergy are stained.” Cantalamessa’s caveat was with these critics’ notion of collective responsibility: Just as an anti-Semite falsely and maliciously believes that all Jews are somehow responsible for the behavior of a single Jew, he is apparently arguing that these critics falsely and maliciously believe that the whole Church is responsible for the acts of certain bad-apple priests.

Where Cantalamessa is outrageously wrong, of course—and not a little offensive—is that while anti-Semites believe that most Jews are involved in a global conspiracy to control events, the Catholic Church actually is a global, coherent agglomeration that in the past decades has in multiple places and taking orders from the top of the hierarchy moved to cover up, paper over, and otherwise tacitly sanction pedophilia.

Like the Church, Jews know what it feels like to be victims of collective persecution. Unlike the Church, Jews don’t know what it feels like for their victimhood to be deserved.

UPDATE: Apparently, if you can read Italian, then you’d know that this article reports that “certain Catholic circles” believe that much recent criticism of the Church comes from a “New York ‘Jewish lobby.’ ”

At Vatican Service, Persecution of Jews Is Invoked [NYT]

Moishe the Knight

An old Jew tells a joke

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A Passover-themed one today!

Of Passover and Cookie Dough

A rabbi weighs in

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(Flickr)

My post yesterday arguing that cookie dough ought to be considered kosher for Passover—in fact, that eating cookie dough, the perfect example of unbaked bread, should be encouraged Seder eating—was not, as commenter Elaine cleverly suggested, an April Fool’s joke. However, it was deliberately provocative, and it wasn’t fully serious (but not fully un-serious, either!).

To clear the air, I called up Rabbi Charles M. Feinberg of Adas Israel, the Conservative synagogue in Washington, D.C., which is the chosen congregation of both the Israeli Embassy and my family. Rabbi Feinberg confirmed that, indeed, normal cookie dough, even eaten as cookie dough, is not Pesadik. “Because the dough is sitting together, there’s a minimal amount of leavening,” he explained. This would probably apply even if you mixed the flour and water but then ate it—without baking it—in under 18 minutes. “The rabbis defined it in this way,” he added, “that’s part of what Judaism became, part of the old tradition. It’s in the Talmud, and that’s the basis for most of our observance.” Well, phooey.

Earlier: It Oughta Be Kosher!

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