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Rabbi Blames Earthquake on Gays

Warns against repealing Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell

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Defense Secretary Gates testifying today.(Mark Wilson/Getty Images)

We have our very own Pat Robertson! (Lucky us.) Ultra-Orthodox Rabbi Yehuda Levin expounded on his view that homosexuality was a “spiritual cause” of the earthquake in Haiti, as well as, we think, of 9/11. Said Levin, who is head of the Rabbinical Alliance of America:

Thirteen months before 9/11, on the day New York City passed homosexual domestic partnership regulations, I joined a group of rabbis at a City Hall prayer service, pleading with God not to visit disaster on the city of N.Y. [Ed.: Next time, pray harder!] We have seen the underground earthquake, tsunami, Katrina, and now Haiti. All this is in sync with a two thousand year old teaching in the Talmud that the practice of homosexuality is a spiritual cause of earthquakes.

Why is the rabbi saying this now? Because today, Defense Secretary Robert Gates is testifying before a U.S. Senate committee that he agrees with President Barack Obama that gays should be allowed to serve openly in the military. “We plead with saner heads in Congress and the Pentagon to stop sodomization of our military and our society,” Rabbi Levin asks.“ Enough is enough.” Who knows what catastrophes might befall the United States if it is finally allowed to fully tap the country’s talent pool, including its gay citizens? One shudders to think.

Annals of Theodicy: Gays Caused Haiti Earthquake, Haredi Rabbi Says [Failed Messiah]

S/J/M ISO Golem

And in Queens, not Prague!

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If you happen to be a “Rabbi versed in the Dark Talmudic Arts” (we know you’re out there!), then this Craiglist ad may be for you.

UPDATE: The ad, which requested someone who could make a Golem for the poster, has since been flagged for removal. You know, you’re just going to make the eventual Golem even angrier …

Today on Tablet

Dispatch from Herzliya, Jane Austen-berg, and more

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Today in Tablet Magazine, Judith Miller, our reporter at the Herzliya Conference, talks Iran—or talks about not talking about Iran—with Netanyahu’s national security adviser, Uzi Arad. Middle East columnist Lee Smith profiles Mohsen Sazegara, whose Website has proved integral to the anti-regime street protests in Iran, and Richard Haass, the classic foreign policy old wise man who has learned to embrace those protests. Book critic Adam Kirsch reviews The Three Weissmanns of Westport: “Jane Austen, but with Jews!” The Scroll sometimes likes to think of itself as a Jewish Darcy.

Van-Jew-ver Readies for Games

Israel is sending three to the Winter Olympics

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The new Olympic rink in downtown Vancouver.(Jeff Vinnick/Getty Images)

We had never thought of it this way, but JTA’s reporter correctly notes that Vancouver, Canada, is “the most Jewishly active city ever to host the Winter Olympics.” The town, in the Canadian province of British Columbia, is home to upwards of 30,000 Jews, who will be represented in the Olympic Village (actually, both of them: one in Vancouver, one at the resort-town of Whistler) by an official Jewish clergyman, religious services, and various and sundry accommodations. Additionally, and in a nice twist, one of the final bearers of the Olympics torch before the lighting at the Opening Ceremonies will be a Jewish woman named Karen James, who played on Canada’s basketball team in the 1972 Summer Olympics—the infamous Games, in Munich, during which Palestinian terrorists killed all the Israeli athletes.

For its part, three Israelis will compete: downhill skier Mikail Renzhin, and Alexandra and Roman Zaretsky, a brother-and-sister ice-dancing team. Faster, higher, stronger!

Vancouver Jews Gearing Up for the Games [JTA]
Israel in Olympics To Win, or Not At All [JTA]

Daybreak: Officers Face Music Over U.N. Building

Plus still unclear who killed Hamas weapons guy, and more in the news

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• The Israeli military formally reprimanded two officers for their roles in the shelling of the Gaza U.N. compound during last year’s conflict. [NYT]
• Israel also said it would not file any charges related to a 38-year-old American who sustained brain damage while participating in a West Bank protest. [WP]
• The Hamas weapons connection-guy killed by Mossad? He may actually have been killed by an Arab-government squad, Hamas now says. [Haaretz]
• After numerous reports suggesting he did, Turkey was forced to deny that its ambassador requested to leave Israel shortly after his deliberate humiliation there. [JPost]
• Guitarist Carlos Santana cancelled an Israel show, and one figure in the music industry there says this was due to “anti-Israel pressure.” [Ynet]
• Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow. Six more weeks of winter. Sorry. [CNN]

Sundown: Skater Answers to Higher Authority

Plus the Jew-ffiyeh, Silvio at Yad Vashem, and more

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• Figure skater Tamar Katz qualified to represent Israel at next month’s Olympics—but Israel, whose standards are more demanding than the official international ones, will not send her. [NYT]
• A Brooklyn-based company is making and marketing a keffiyeh—the traditional Arab headwear that has become a symbol of Palestinian resistance—embroidered with blue-and-white Stars of David. [The National]
• A few kosher wines that don’t taste like unusually sugary grape juice. [NY Post]
• Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi described touring Yad Vashem as “like getting punched in the stomach,” and penned in the guest book, “Our soul screams out—‘This cannot be.’ Then it jolts and bellows—‘Never again!’” [Ynet]
• Finally, The New Yorker liked—it really liked!—last week’s Lincoln Center concert inspired by Nextbook Press’s A Fine Romance. [Book Bench]

Was Hamas Weapons Man Killed by Mossad?

Sure looks that way

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Hamas chief Khaled Meshal speaking yesterday about the death.(Louai Beshara/AFP/Getty Images)

Reporting from the Herzliya Conference for Tablet Magazine, Judith Miller notes that the death of Mahmoud al-Mabhouh, the Hamas official thought to be the crucial weapons-smuggling link between the group and Iran, certainly bears all the trappings of Israel’s intelligence service: “The strike was vintage Mossad—precise, without fingerprints, and deniable, the kind of operation in which [Meir] Dagan has specialized since becoming chief of the spy agency seven years ago.” It would be a stretch simply to report that Mossad is responsible for the fact that al-Mabhouh is no longer alive. However, at this point, it would probably count as surprising if it turned out Mossad wasn’t responsible.

For what they’re worth, a couple interesting facts:
• Al-Mabhouh’s body was actually discovered all the way back on January 20th; the death was announced nine days later, and even then only quietly.
• Though he usually travels with bodyguards and under an assumed name, on this trip—said to be directly related to arms smuggling—al-Mabhouh traveled as himself and with no apparent protection.
• He was reportedly injected with a drug that induces heart attack.
• The alleged hit squad reportedly photographed the contents of his briefcase and, upon leaving his room, left the “Do Not Disturb” sign on the doorknob.
• The alleged squad’s members held passports from several different European countries.
• Hamas thinks Israel did it.
• According to Miller, al-Mabhouh has been on Israel’s hit list for two decades.

A couple questions. What happens if it gets out, and is credibly accepted, that Mossad was indeed behind this? Does any negative P.R. outweigh the presumably positive consequences of eliminating this weapons link for Hamas?

Also: was Mossad also behind the slain Iranian nuclear scientist?

Herzliya Diary [Tablet Magazine]
James Bond, Meet Dubai [GlobalPost/CBS News]
Hit Squad Injected Al-Mabhouh With a Drug That Induced Heart Attack: Report [Gulf News]

Earlier: A’jad Detects ‘Zionism’ in Scientist’s Murder

A New Kind of Israel Tour

Gay porn star’s itinerary is inspired by his films

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Michael Lucas, Israel’s biggest gay porn star, is now offering group tours of his country tailored to the locations and, er, themes of his films, according to Heeb. So in addition to Yad Vashem, Masada, and the rest of the usual suspects, Lucas’s tourists will visit Israel’s famous Gaash Beach and the Tel Aviv gay scene.

Wayne Hoffman profiled Lucas for Tablet Magazine last year:

In gay porn, where there’s less room for nebbishes and clowns, openly Jewish men have been virtually absent or invisible. In fact, the only one in recent memory is, well, Michael Lucas. …

In [Lucas’s] Men of Israel, the guys are all Israeli, all Jewish, and they’re not hiding it. Sure, their names are probably fakes—no parents would name their son Morr Foxx unless they knew he’d grow up to be a gay porn star. But at least their names sound plausibly Israeli, plausibly Jewish: Matan Shalev, Avi Dar, Naor Tal.

Lucas has long seen himself as something of an evangelist for Israel: “His website extols the virtues of a country rich with natural wonders, intriguing museums, liberal politics, and friendly locals,” Hoffman pointed out. “More than a biblical theme park, Lucas’s Israel is a tourist destination, a place where lovely beaches beckon and muscle-bound men have sex with each other.”

Porn Star Michael Lucas to Lead Tour of Israel [Heeb]

Related: Great Exxxpectations [Tablet Magazine]

Quote of the Day

Courtesy the tefillin bomber

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It’s been pretty surreal. Many in Chabad think that I’m a hero because tefillin became one of the top searches on Google. Some people think I showed poor judgment, that I expected [the flight attendant] to be familiar with the ritual of tefillin, which is not true. I expected her not to think that anything that was not familiar to her was a bomb.

- Caleb Liebowitz, otherwise known as the guy wearing tefillin whom a flight attendant mistook for a guy wrapping an explosive device around himself on a flight.

Interview With The Tefillin Terrorist [New Voices]

Earlier: BREAKING: N.Y. Plane Grounded Due to Tefillin Scare

Cohen, Previn Win Grammys

Achievements of lifetimes not ready for primetime

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(Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images)

We’re real sorry we missed the 52nd Annual Grammy Awards last night, at which singer-songwriter Leonard Cohen—a Montreal-born Jew—and pianist and composer André Previn—a Russian-born Jew—both won lifetime achievement awards.

And by “last night,” we mean that Cohen and Previn actually got their awards at a separate, un-televised ceremony that took place Saturday.

And by “we’re real sorry we missed the 52nd Annual Grammy Awards,” we mean we’re actually quite pleased we didn’t watch, because it sounds like it was pretty awful. Still, congratulations to all the winners!

Last year in Tablet Magazine, John S. W. MacDonald considered the (many) covers of Cohen’s  “Hallelujah.”

Below, the opening to Robert Altman’s McCabe and Mrs. Miller, set to Cohen’s “The Stranger Song.”

Cohen, Previn Receive Lifetime Grammys [JTA]
Leonard Cohen Receives Lifetime Achievement Grammy [Haaretz]

Related:: Hallelujah Time [Tablet Magazine]

The ‘Deerlift’ of 1978

A real-life Israeli caper

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On November 28th, 1978, as Iran was hurtling toward Islamic revolution, zoologist Mike Van Grevenbroek landed at Tehran’s Mehrabad Airport, coming from Tel Aviv, carrying a blow-dart gun disguised as a cane and secret orders from an Israeli general.

You’re saying you don’t want to read an article that begins with that sentence? One that details how, as part of Israel’s project of restoring Biblical animals to its land, Van Grevenbroek surreptitiously secured four Persian fallow deer from Iran and got them on to the final El Al flight out of Tehran? One that celebrates the fact that four descendants of these deer, members of a species that were once hunted to extinction in Israel, were released into the Israeli wild last month to join 500 of their now-thriving brothers and sisters? No. Of course you want to read it.

How Bambi Met James Bond to Save Israel’s ‘Extinct’ Deer [WSJ]

Today on Tablet

Remembering Salinger, paled pictures from the Pale, and more

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Today in Tablet Magazine, New York Times Magazine columnist Virginia Heffernan remembers J.D. Salinger, who lived near the New Hampshire town in which she grew up, and discusses how men and women might consider his work differently. This week’s Vox Tablet podcast contains a slide show of remarkable photos taken throughout the Pale of Settlement between 1912 and 1914. The catastrophe in Haiti prompts parenting columnist Marjorie Ingall to discuss death with her daughters, and to discuss discussing death with your kids. Josh Lambert offers his weekly round-up of forthcoming Jewish books. The Scroll, too, finds itself tempted from time to time to move out to a cabin in the middle of nowhere, but how would you ensure good Internet?

‘The White Intifada’

Israel’s losing war for world opinion

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Netanyahu speaking at Auschwitz last week.(Janek Skarzynski/AFP/Getty Images)

Haaretz columnist Aluf Benn is decidedly left-wing, and so his pronouncements ought to be taken with that grain of salt. Still, the argument from his latest piece is not purely ideological, and it is compelling. It is not a criticism of the Israeli government’s policies vis-à-vis the Palestinians (in fact, Benn grants that the Netanyahu government is not hard-line, and that the Palestinians have given Israel good reason to impose a blockade on Gaza). Rather, the column is an assessment, based on conversations with European and U.S. diplomats: “The world isn’t buying Israel’s explanations and it isn’t prepared to condemn Palestinian obduracy.” That doesn’t sound entirely off-base, does it?

Moreover, Benn reports on what he calls (quoting two political scientists) the “white intifada”: the Palestinian Authority’s public relations campaign to convince the world that a unilateral declaration of independence is the best solution to the conflict. He writes:

In a document [the political scientists] distributed last week, they warn of Israeli complaisance and present a disturbing scenario: The Palestinians declare independence, and Israel refuses to recognize it and is faced with a boycott. Regardless of whether it yields or reacts with force, Israel cannot win, and will also lose control of the process.

It can be easy to disagree with Benn’s political beliefs, which are rarely hesitant to blame Israel a great deal for the larger conflict. However, it is more difficult to disagree that world opinion—America’s included—seems to be drifting ever further away from Israel’s side.

World Isn’t Buying Israel’s Explanations Anymore [Haaretz]

Daybreak: An Arming for An Arming

Plus Bibi wants a Gaza probe (really), and more in the news

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• Iran’s nuclear program has prompted the United States to increase the flow of arms, particularly anti-missile weapons and technology, to its nearby allies. It has also moved two cruisers to the Gulf. [WSJ]
• A top Hamas guy was found dead, mysteriously, in a Dubai hotel room; he was a crucial weapons middleman between Iran, on the one hand, and Hamas as well as Hezbollah on the other. Israel said it suspects this will slow arms smuggling, at least for a time. [LAT]
• That said, a U.S. diplomat told a London Arabic-language newspaper that the amount and types of weapons currently making their way to Hezbollah threatens to destabilize southern Lebanon and its Israeli border. [Haaretz]
• Prime Minister Netanyahu favors an independent probe into Israeli targeting of civilians during last January’s Gaza conflict, but he has so far held off due to the vociferous opposition of Defense Minister Ehud Barak as well as the military. [Haaretz]
• It was revealed that CIA Director Leon Panetta semi-secretly visited Israel last week to talk Iran and “relations.” Reports also placed him in Cairo. [Laura Rozen]
• On February 11th—the 31st anniversary of the Iranian Revolution—Iran will retaliate against “global arrogance,” President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad pledged. This will also be the first revolutionary anniversary since last summer’s election and opposition movement, so actually, A’jad’s as excited as we are. [Press TV Iran/Vos Iz Neias?]

Sundown: On Goldstone Report, Israel Defends Its Defense

Plus ‘rabbah,’ Park Slope anti-Semitism, and more

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• In its first official response to the Goldstone Report, Israel wrote U.N. Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon to support its own investigation of it and its military’s conduct during last January’s Gaza conflict. [NYT]
• Introducing the term “rabbah”: it’s the feminized version of “rabbi,” created for an Orthodox spiritual leader in upstate New York. [JTA]
• A long, rollicking profile of the “Indiana Jones of Torah recovery,” who may or may not be something of a charlatan. [Washington Post Magazine]
• A grainy photo appears to show a field in northern Gaza where, during last January’s Operation Cast Lead, Israeli tanks allegedly carved a gigantic Star of David. [Forecast Highs]
• A couple blocks in Brooklyn’s Park Slope were inundated with small flyers reading “KILL JEWS.” [Brooklyn Paper]
• An ultra-Orthodox rabbi accused of child molestation in the United States won his decades-long battle, with Israeli prosecutors deciding not to appeal an Israeli high court’s decision to bar his extradition. [Failed Messiah]

• Bonus! For the first part of next week, Tablet Magazine’s coverage of the important Herzliya Conference in Israel will include frequent dispatches from Pulitzer Prize-winning reporter Judith Miller (yes, her). So don’t forget to check in frequently.

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