Today’s Sorry

That whole economic collapse? My bad.


Yom Kippur is nearly here—just a few called-in atonements left. Today’s sorry is from someone with a sneaking suspicion that he may be a least a little bit responsible for the economic collapse. Listen to his apology here.

Tomorrow will be your last chance to atone on Tablet Magazine’s Sorry Hotline. Call the hotline at 718-360-4836, tell us what you’re sorry for, and we’ll publish all the remaining repentances tomorrow.

Security Council Boosts Non-Proliferation

Good news for Israel


The U.N. Security Council, with President Obama acting as chairman, unanimously passed a resolution yesterday intended to bolster nuclear deterrents, such as the Non-Proliferation Treaty, and lower the chances that civilian nuclear programs can be used for military purposes. The chief targets of the resolution are North Korea and Iran, although some Western leaders think the measure doesn’t go far enough. British Prime Minister Gordon Brown and French President Nicolas Sarkozy both urged the imposition of sanctions on Iran—a difficulty given that one of the long-standing opponents of sanctions is China, a permanent member on the Security Council.

Though it may only be a symbolic gesture coming from a forum not known for its sympathies with Zionism, the resolution does benefit Israel in implicitly censuring one of its most hostile neighbors, whose rulers have pledged to wipe Israel off the map. Another minor triumph for the Netanyahu government was Obama’s climb-down in rhetoric against settlement building—he spoke yesterday of the need to “restrain” it as opposed to “freeze” it, a word choice that has conservative pundits skeptical of Obama’s initial policy claiming, “I told you so.”

U.N. Security Council Adopts Measure on Nuclear Arms [NYT]

Sorry Songs

Musical selections to put you in the mood for atonement


The Day of Atonement is a few days away, and tradition requires us to ask each other’s forgiveness for sins, slights, and other snafus we may have committed during the past year. If you’re in need for a bit of inspiration with all this sorry business, here are some musical examples of Jews apologizing in a variety of ways, from the morbid to the heartfelt:

“Sorry-Grateful,” by Stephen Sondheim: When it comes to relationships, Sondheim tells us, we’re always sorry-grateful and regretful-happy. “Why look for answers when none occur?” he asks. “You always are what you always were, which has nothing to do with, all to do with her.”

“Sorry Angel,” by Serge Gainsbourg: “It’s me who suicided you,” apologizes the French poet of the obscene. “Now you’re with the angels.” That’s Gainsbourg’s idea of a love song. (more…)

Today on Tablet

Eating, not eating, and the most captivating part of Yom Kippur


Marc Tracy gathers some wisdom about what to eat in preparation for the big fast on Monday. Eddie Portnoy, on the other hand, looks back at anarchic Yom Kippur feasts that marked secular Jewish over a century ago. Alexander Gelfand muses on that most somber and affecting of melodies, the Kol Nidre liturgy. And we’ll keep rolling out the good stuff here on The Scroll.

Hope for High Holiday Slackers

A new website locates free services


If you’ve fallen out of the fold of synagogue membership, or if the economy’s got you down on high ticket prices for Yom Kippur, you’ve still got time to peruse your atonement options. The website No Membership Requiredoffers a list of last-minute, no-tickets-required services in cities across the country.

So now you’ve got no good excuse not to go to shul.

No Membership Required [Homepage]

Daybreak: Ahmadinejad Still Pissed at Jews

A shul to close, a school to open, and more in the news


• Speaking to a half-empty room at the U.N. General Assembly yesterday—many delegates, including those from the United States, walked out—Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad spoke out against the “Zionist regime” responsible for “genocide,” and the “small minority” who dominate the world with “racist ambitions.” [JTA]
• Israeli P.M. Benjamin Netanyahu and Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas still think the other should make the first move toward compromising for peace. [Reuters]
• The “lack of muscle” behind Obama’s demand for a settlement freeze in Israel may have caused more harm than good in the Middle East. [AP]
• A 104-year-old synagogue in Lexington, Mississippi, will close after this Yom Kippur. [Forward]
• Meanwhile, New Jersey will have its first publicly funded Hebrew-language charter school in 2010. [Star-Ledger]

Sundown: Sometimes ‘Sorry’ Just Ain’t Enough

An obvious question, poetic justice, and following Fonda


• One-time conman Sam Antar, former CFO of Crazy Eddie electronics stores and Eddie’s cousin, spends his time repenting via public speaking engagements, but is under no illusion that it will get him off the karmic hook: “I’m going downstairs for a long time before I go upstairs.” [Jewish Week]
New Voices asks: is the Kindle good for the Jews? The answer: well, using it is pretty much the equivalent of reading a book—so, yeah. [NV]
• Once, a poet bemoaned the lack of a monument at Babi Yar, site of the massacre of 33,771 Jews during World War II. Now, in post-Soviet Ukraine, there is one; soon, there won’t be. Taking its place: a resort hotel to accommodate “soccer tourism.” [Haaretz]
• In a cleverly-titled editorial—“Jane Erred”—the New Jersey Jewish News gives props to Jane Fonda for doing teshuva after protesting against the Tel Aviv spotlight at the Toronto International Film Fest by signing a letter that the paper says “wasn’t much different from the Goldstone Report.” [NJJN]
• Speaking of which, the man himself defends his report against accusations of “disproportionate attention to the conduct of Israel,” which he says was “unavoidable considering the many incidents the mission was obliged to investigate in Gaza.” [JPost]

Lebanese Critics Pan ‘Lebanon’ Movie

Saying it’s one-sided


Some Lebanese critics are dismissing the Israeli film Lebanon, which won the award for best picture at the Venice Film Festival last week (and just got picked up by Sony), says Agence France-Presse. The film, based on director Samuel Maoz’s experience during Israel’s 1982 war with Lebanon, is shot from the perspective of four Israeli soldiers trapped in a tank in a bombed-out Lebanese city over the course of a harrowing 24 hours. Though early reviews in the United States have praised the film’s “no-frills power” (if not its psychological depth), some Lebanese critics say it presents a wildly unbalanced view of the war. “It depicts an operation of self-defense where the ‘Other’ does not exist, where the enemy is hidden, absent, treated as ‘terrorist,’” wrote a correspondent in the Lebanese daily An-Nahar. “The film falls, as expected, into the logic that transforms the executioner into a victim or a quasi-victim.” Another daily, al-Mustaqbal, agreed that “the film serves only to show the supposed humanity of the Zionist state, which wages war ‘against its will’ and ‘in pain.’” AFP explains that in the film, “Israeli soldiers confined to their tank do not see the horrors and massacres they leave in their wake: a woman on the verge of insanity after the death of her child, an elderly man consumed by hate, the agony of a gutted donkey, and more.”

Lebanese Critics Blast Israeli Director’s ‘Lebanon’ [AFP]

A Nobel for Amos Oz?

British bookies Ladbrookes favor him

Oz last year.(Uwe Meinhold/AFP/Getty Images)

Ladbrokes, the famous British oddmakers, is favoring Amos Oz four-to-one for this year’s Nobel Prize in Literature. He’d be the second Israeli to win the prestigious award, after the first was S.Y. Agnon in 1966. Oz, the author of several acclaimed works including the 2004 memoir A Tale of Love and Darkness, is joined on the list by the American perennial Philip Roth, who gets a seven-to-one shot, and countryman A.B. Yehoshua, whose odds of taking home the prize are fairly long at 40-to-one. There’s no word on why Oz is this year’s favorite, but he’s often been mentioned as a contender in recent years. The winner of the prize will be announced later this year in Stockholm.

Amos Oz Tops Betting for Nobel Literature Prize [Monsters and Critics]

Gadhafi Proposes Establishment of ‘Isratine’

His Mideast peace plan, plus other ideas in a 90-minute address


Moammar Gadhafi did his best to steal the show at the U.N. General Assembly today, wearing a bronze robe with a gigantic Africa-shaped pin and rambling on for more than 90 minutes—six times the 15-minute-per-speaker limit—about everything from Israel’s war in Gaza to the Kennedy assassination. (He did not, however, break Fidel Castro’s record; the Cuban leader spoke at the United Nations for four-and-a-half hours in 1960.) Reading from a crumpled sheaf of what looked to be three-ring, ruled notepaper pages—complete with doodles along the margins—Gadhafi announced that the Israeli-Palestinian conflict should be solved by the establishment of a new state called Isratine. He also brandished a copy of the U.N. Charter, which he at one point apparently tried to rip in half—symbolizing, we think, the violation of its principles by the power structure of the Security Council. He did, however, take the time to commend Barack Obama for his speech calling on his fellow leaders to put the “united” back in the United Nations. Sadly, the U.S. delegation got up and exited the gigantic gold-domed General Assembly Hall before Gadhafi took the podium, leaving a low-level note-taker to hold down the fort.

Gadhafi slams Security Council in 1st UN visit [AP]
Qaddafi’s First U.N. Speech is a Rambling Diatribe [NYT]

Today’s Sorry

He knows he shouldn’t make jokes about shul


Just a few days left till Yom Kippur, and the parade of apologies continues. Today’s sorry comes from a wise guy who doesn’t like going to synagogue, and who feels bad about the whiny jokes that upset his more-observant wife. You can listen to it here.

Is there something you’re truly sorry for? There’s still time to atone! Call Tablet Magazine’s Sorry Hotline at 718-360-4836, and get it off your chest.

Obama at U.N.: Negotiations Without Pre-Conditions

But what does he mean by a contiguous Palestinian state?

Obama speaking to the General Assembly today.(Mario Tama/Getty Images)

This morning, Barack Obama addressed the world’s heads of state at the opening of the United Nations General Assembly, and declared that achieving peace between Israel and the Palestinians should be among the world’s top priorities—along with halting nuclear proliferation, controlling climate change, and jump-starting the global economy. “The time has come to re-launch negotiations—without preconditions,” Obama said, largely reiterating the statements he made during yesterday’s session with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas at the Waldorf-Astoria.

“No pre-conditions” is, of course, code for Obama’s dropping his earlier insistence that Netanyahu agree to a freeze on settlement construction before negotiations begin—though in his speech, Obama insisted that “we continue to emphasize that America does not accept the legitimacy of continued Israeli settlements.” As the New York Times noted this morning, it’s a pragmatic shift aimed at getting talks started sooner rather than later on the full slate of so-called permanent-status issues: borders, the rights of Palestinian refugees, and control over Jerusalem.

But alongside the usual language on establishing two viable states living side by side in peace and security, we were surprised to hear Obama refer to something that didn’t, as far as we can tell, come up yesterday at all: the desire to guarantee the Palestinians “contiguous territory.” It’s not the first time the issue has come up—Bush mentioned it, and so did the Mideast Quartet of negotiating partners in their June report—and it’s not immediately clear what Obama meant. Geographically, of course, a territory that joins the West Bank and Gaza would mean splitting Israel, but “contiguous” has also been used to refer to a guaranteed transit corridor between the two Palestinian areas, and, less substantially, to a West Bank free from a “Swiss cheese” patchwork of Israeli settlements.

At U.N., Obama Sets New Tone, but Problems Are Familiar [NYT]

Tablet Today

Money, memory, and making amends


Hadara Graubart talks to the author of a new book lauding the virtues of cheapness about stereotypes regarding Jews and money. David Rakoff tries to make amends for his cruelty as a child. Joshua Cohen explores the work of a Palestinian poet. Liel Leibovitz bemoans the intrusion of technology into the peaceful Yom Kippur experiences of his Israeli youth. And much more, here on The Scroll.

Mystery Continues Over Where Gadhafi Will Sleep

Is he commuting to U.N from Westchester?

Gadhafi on a visit to Rome in June.(Franco Origlia/Getty Images)

Where will Muammar Gadhafi lay his weary head during the U.N. General Assembly this week? Lodging troubles for the Libyan dictator began in August, when townspeople protested a plan to pitch his Bedouin-style tent in Englewood, New Jersey; New York City’s Central Park and two Manhattan hotels also reportedly turned him down. According to a real estate broker interviewed by ABC News, Gadhafi’s agents even pretended to be members of Holland’s delegation in an attempt to rent a townhouse. (“I’m not a linguist, but it became pretty clear I wasn’t dealing with the Dutch,” the broker said.) Now, some media outlets, including the Israeli news site Ynet and Fox News, say he’s staying at the home of the Libyan ambassador to the United Nations (where protesters gathered yesterday), while others report rumors that he’s pitching his tent in the Westchester County town of Bedford, up the street from Martha Stewart—possibly, according to the Huffington Post, on Donald Trump’s estate. (A Trump spokesman denied this). Vincent L. Leibell, the state senator who represents the area, confirmed to ABC that Gadhafi’s delegation had rented property there, and added cowboyishly, “Don’t want to see him in my county or my district. There’s not going to be any welcome mat for him in Bedford.” Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, meanwhile, found a hotel near U.N. headquarters, but has reportedly been turned down from two New York banquet halls where he hoped to hold functions.

Gaddafi Pitches Tent in Bedford, But No Sign of Gaddafi—Yet [ABC News]
Gaddafi Can’t Find Place to Sleep in New York [Ynet]
Gaddafi on Donald Trump Estate? [HuffPost]
Earlier: Daybreak: Gadhafi Unwelcome in N.J. Suburb

Daybreak: Germany Won’t Sit for Denial

Ahmadinejad varies his script, a Madoff ‘collaborator,’ and more in the news


• German officials hope other European diplomats will join them in walking out of the U.N. General Assembly if Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad denies the Holocaust. [Reuters]
• The Associated Press interprets Ahmadinejad’s statement yesterday that “the Holocaust is used as a pretext for the repression of Palestinians” a sign that he’s “back[ing] off” his denial. [AP]
• Tell that to the nine Holocaust survivors who will be reuniting with the U.S. army veterans who liberated them from Bergen-Belsen in upstate New York today. [AP]
• A Jewish philanthropist in California is being sued by the state for “concealing that his investment strategy consisted solely of giving tens of millions of dollars to Madoff.” [JTA]

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