Breaking Away

It sounds as if he has delusions of grandeur and a future as a star actor. He did not say a word about any spiritual dimension to his search, no mention of any plans to work and earn a living. No interest in signing up at Touro College which offers higher education for hasidic jews. Sounds like a self-infatuated good for nothing!

correction: see: book/audiobook, Shalom Auslander, “Foreskin’s Lament” for a funny, wry, critical and dramatic memoir & reflection on life in the ultra-Orthodox lane and the joys &
pains of leaving it.

Dear Mr Twersky,

I am a Reform Jew and a convert at that. I aways knew I was a Jew. It is hard wired. Whether anyone else accepts me is up to them and not my problem. G-d is wherever you let him in. Religion for the most part is a human construct which may be suited to you or not but do not thow away G-d with the bath water.

I pray that you find the balance you seek, I found that when the time is right your path will seek you. You just have be open to it. You have taked a big first step, keep seeking with an open heart and mind.

B’Shalom

Luzer’s story is heartbreaking… I can only hope that he finds a warm loving substitute for the Neanderthal family that considers him dead. I wonder if he has read any books since he began his new journey. To Kill a Mockingbird should be on the list. Upward and onward, Luzer… May you go from strength to strength.

Luzer’s story is courages and admirable, I hope that many young Chassidim listen to this and follow his lead. Luzer, best of luck in your new life!

brilliant

I am appalled that tablet would just give away 25 minutes of air time without any opposing viewpoint. I know Luzer and I’ve had just about enough of his spewing against religious people. I get it. You don’t want to be religious, fine. That’s between you and your Creator. Leave – if that makes you feel better. But as far as I can tell from everything that I’ve heard and read about you, you are NOT happy. You don’t have a steady job, steady shelter, you don’t even eat regularly. Perhaps a balance of both worlds would work for you? It seems that all you’ve done is go from one extreme to the other. Extremism on both ends of the spectrum is not healthy. Being religious does not mean being an extremist. How can you tell the difference? Well, if you are afraid to leave the house without a hat and jacket because people will think you are a bum and you won’t get a shidduch – that’s extreme. When did Minhag become a replacement for Torah? Go back to basics and don’t throw it all away. Your soul will find the balance and the peace it craves.

The headline should read “Satmarer”

I appreciated Luzer’s story tremendously. It is impossible for me, a liberal Jew, to understand the full raminifications of his choice and the loneliness he must feel. However, he speaks at the end about his new struggles. That they have a purpose. Perhaps there is a lesson there. The paths we CHOOSE, however difficult, empower and strengthen us even when they are lonely, difficult and challenging…

@Rebecca: Here’s an article about a woman who left:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/aug/29/deborah-feldman-hasidic-once-upon-a-life

I knew Luzer’s family from his past life. Athough I have no problem with him leaving the fold and pursuing a life in paradise, I cannot let stand the fact that his whole premise is BS. There is plenty of leeway in the hassidic world where he could have tempered his devotion and pursued worldly pleasures to his hearts content. Sure there are some strings attached, but this is tue of any society. There was no need to abandon his god, parents and family. Many hassidic people don’t neccessarily believe in god, but for the most part they act as they do.

Luzer;s leaving has nothing to do with the particular culture he came from. He rejected all culture and associations and put himself into a life of freefall.

He knows very well that if he wants a roof over his head and 3 squares a day where he can get it. But it fits his current persona to bemoan his current sorry state and to blame it on his past. This is akin to ordinary people who abandon their lives for a life on skid row. Each one of them will have a laundry list of people or things to blame, except for themselves.

Luzer did not stick around long enough to find out that in the long run, the sex life an average hassid rivals one of a freefaller, and is spiritually and materialistically more satisfying. He can’t ever come back, but I would at least suggest that he carve himself out a new reality and moral compass and stick to it through thick and thin. Otherwise this story will not end well.

Luzer!

Its about time you should expose your molester who is pretty close to rotting in prison anyway for his next victim. It might make your mother proud. Also you should thank the chasidim who you hate so much for their mercy of giving you a job at a place where NO education is needed whatsoever.

I am just saying….

Otherwise I wish you lots of luck where ever you turn and where ever your life might lead you.

I hope he finds his way to a Modern Orthodox lifestyle. He does not have to abandon Torah to find what he is looking for.

I am actually shocked that anyone could have a negative response to this story. I can’t imagine the courage it must take to leave behind every thing one knows to follow their own truth. Luzer says it very eloquently himself at the end. It’s about making our own choices and learning from them. Luzer you sound like a thoughtful intelligent person. You will make it and be rewarded with all the gifts the world of choice has to offer.

I found this a very superficial portrait of what could be an interesting person.

I’m not sure if it because Luzer was deliberately avoiding many topics, or because he is simply stuck in the superficial, narcissistic stage of early adolescent development.

For a portrait supposedly recorded over the period of a year, there seemed to be no shift from the start to the end. Just more of the same…

I’m eagerly awaiting “Hush” to arrive in the mail, following Marjorie I’s recommendation – it appears to have been written by someone who has struggled with similar issues but has been able to process them with more thoughtfulness.

I feel bad that I wrote the last post because I just realized that this audio interview was taped over a long period of time. Luzer has since moved on somewhat, he has found a steady job with a lot of responsibility and is doing relatively well.

You sound like a young man who has a lot to offer his fellow Jews – besides your doubts and questions you must also know the joys of being Jewish – the holidays, the practice of charity, and the history of a people that have overcome so much hostility and given so much to the societies in which they live. Material things come and go but what you have inside your head, no one can take away from you, and you must share. I feel that your were born to be a teacher, and know that you will learn much from your pupils. Shalom, Janet S. Katz

All I hear is blah blah blah, someone so self centered and eager to blame everything on anybody else but himself..
His kids are well rid of him.
He is so self absorbed – at least I expected to here he left because he wanted an education in a higher institution or etc.
This guy is a bum.
If you wanted a reason to run away from your responsibilites- You didn’t want to be satmar so be a more modern jew. But to throw away everything just shows your selfishness and your immaturity.
Good luck because you haven’t got any direction just a bunch of delusions.
You’ll probably end up on food stamps collecting unemployment …….whats the difference what you ran away from….

As others have already said, great and moving piece. Look forward to hearing more about the subject.

He hates certain customs of chasidut, but they have nothing to do with torah or hashem they are just chassidic no-no’s. You can be orthodox, keep shabbat, kosher but watch movies, go to the mall.. You might leave the chasidishe velt if that doesnt fit you but throwing away your Jewish life?? No reason to do so…
He really needs to learn what is halacha, what is chumra and what are minhagim and distinguish between the 3!

I really feel for Luzer. He clearly has an honest, intelligent mind, a sense of integrity. And he’s very courageous. It’s just a shame that his own Hasidic background has not prepared him for life as an adult in the outside world: with little socialization, no secular education, no skills, no contacts…and trying to find a job in a bad economy.

He really needed better preparation before making the jump, but I guess that would have been impossible. He’ll make the adjustment gradually. One year is not a lot of time.

If I were he, I’d finish high school an then look for a place in a college (no matter his age) where he could have a scholarship providing tuition and a living stipend, or perhaps a place in a dormitory.

That way, he could make a transition within a supportive institution that would introduce him to the outer world while at the same time protecting him from it.

It is really strange how his experiences, feelings, and outlook seem similar to those of people who have escaped cults after membership for a long time.

@Joanne

I don’t think the fact that L’s situation is similar to the situation of people leaving cults is strange at all!

I think that’s the point…

“Luzer did not stick around long enough to find out that in the long run, the sex life an average hassid rivals one of a freefaller”

I worked in a salon, I did waxing etc. for the most part the hasid ladies where EXTREMELY hairy and not clean, after that I understood why the men run to strip clubs and hookers.

In the long run? When after baby number 15?

Who are you kidding here

Very very moving — thank you for sharing this.

I wish to thank Josh Gleason for providing an inside glimpse into what appears to be a very closed society. I have heard other work produced by him and he seems to have a knack for doing this.

Hi my name is dave, I’ve met Mr. Twersky more then once and I basically know what he’s going through and I can say that I come from where Luzer is at the moment, all confused mixed up, broke up with family, whatever total I had hell same as he probably has now.

But it was a mistake of my side, I thought I knew everything about Judaism, but I didn’t, who says that when your not comfortable the way you are at the moment you need to drop your religion? U can go on with your daily life style meaning Dating, Going out with friends, enjoying your self, working even though you are jewish, (I’m pretty much sure that Mr. Luzer didn’t really do all of that comfortable cause of being afraid of loosing his family friends) okay I’ll admit that your not comfortable doing all of this with your “Pie’as and Beard” but cause of that u can take it down and still be a jew without that, I know Luzer, and I think he’s pretty much mixed up and he’ll one day get back on track and start a jewish life even not really Hasidic but still be jewish and have a nice jewish girl that he’ll marry.

Great podcast. Best of luck to Luzer. Maybe he should start blogging about his experience.

Anyone who knows Luzer knows that every second word in this interview is a blatant lie. He is still completely supported by his family and he insists on wearing the hasidic costume to get attention from reporters just like Josh. If only he could move on with his life just like plenty of other ex-hasids have managed to, and then he could be a positive role model and I wouldn’t have to vomit while listening to this.

Interesting how the comments are so starkly pro- and con-. I liked the piece, but I’m curious: is Luzer putting us all on, as “freilach” claims? Supported by his family and what-not? Alas, there’s no way to tell in the cyberworld. “freilach” is anonymous, so one can’t rely too much on what s/he says. I hope Luzer finds himself – he’s only 23 – and that he can figure out a balanced way to live that honors his background and is open to the larger world.

choose your path and live your life. Miserable. Happy. it’s all your choice. Luzer, if this is what you wanted, es iz!

Luzer shouldn’t give up on religion so quickly. It’s easy to jump out of black and white when you discover that theres a whole world or color out there, but before he does that, he should know that there are many, many shades of grey. There are so many sects of Judaism out there, and he shouldn’t cast it all off without exploring whats out there. Going straight from one extreme to another is like jumping from a hot bath into an ice-cold bath. Not a great idea.

To all of you who have expressed your support for your fellow human being, Thank you. It’s nice to know that there are still people out there who are capable of empathizing with a person whose views they don’t necessarily agree with. Your comments gave me a warm and fuzzy feeling inside. May the feeling you gave me be upon you, and if you believe God exists and likes and rewards those who make other people feel good, then…

To those who decided to enter a “Who’s Angrier?” contest with me, sorry to break it to you, I win.

On a serious note. This piece was recorded over the period of one year beginning in February of 2009 (approximately 6 months after my divorce). During that time I received no financial support from my family – besides the occasional pack of cigarettes from my brother (I love my brother, he’s awesome) – or any of my Hasidic friends. The only support I got at that time was from Footsteps. To this day I haven’t received a single phone call from my parents inquiring about my well-being. It wasn’t until I hit rock bottom when an old Hasidic friend offered his help, which I accepted on the condition that he will not infringe on my lack-of religious practice. I am indebted and extremely thankful to him for that.

Even though I am confident with my skeptic views on religion and superstition, I probably should have better prepared for my journey into the secular world and I urge my fellow struggling Chasidim to contact Footsteps and plan an exit strategy.

I did not throw the baby out with the bathwater. I only threw out the baby, the bathwater was fine.

“”The person is not what he does, the person is what he is” thats what people say, but Luzer, dear, it doesn’t work for ya, cuz you dunno who you are and what you wanna be and that my friend is the biggest problem of yours… And if you already guessed who I am you do understand that I do have a full right to say that cuz I am a baal tshuva myself. 14 years of my life I had no idea what a jew means what so ever, and now I am chassidic orthodox. So during REALLY SHORT JOURNEY of yours you still did not see all the aspects of Judaism… Its a pity to see a smart guy like you all messed up… Mostly from what I heard its all about sex and revenge for something you dunno yourself. So get on with your life and pick a side cuz the way you look and behave you won’t get too far. My point is if you don’t wanna be religious so be it, try and see for yourself what its like to be “free”, and eventually you’ll get it… Now about limitations of chassidic world you are TOTALLY WRONG, and a just a not so far to you proof to it is that your brother works as system admin in unix environments in one of the biggest electronic retailers in the world. Sooooo…. Do not bull$#it folks around here, zip your guilt and doubt and move on and especially don’t FOOL YOURSELF… Sincerely STILL YOUR FRIEND yitzik ;)

I really enjoyed this piece. Putting aside the argument many are picking of whether he was right or wrong in his choice, well it’s his choice I say and leave it at that. I don’t feel sorry for him per-say, although I think it is quite unfortunate that groups in the world believe ignorance or closing oneself off to the outside world is beneficial and not damaging… but to each his own. What I loved about this piece was the work reporter Josh Gleason did. Way to go!! As someone interested in creating similar radio pieces (Vox-style or This American Life-style), I think this piece is captivating, really draws one in. It must have taken a lot of dedication to edit down a year’s worth of material into 20-something minutes, well done.

Luzer, we would love to help you and have you as part of our community!! please email me .

Having grown up in a Chasideshe family, and having taken a number of my teen and 20′s years to “break away”, I know how difficult it is to make your way in the non-religious world (not to speak of the non-Jewish world). How do you speak to others, what is the meaning of many things, events and behaviors? How to behave in this new world? We make many mistakes, many experiments and failed experiments, some harming others and some harming our self. And along the way hopefully we learn and explore who and what we are and what we want to be.

The strangeness of the world (which seems ordinary for most of the secular Jews and non-Jews and even for Conservative/Reform/Modern Orthodox Jews)[notice that way of categorizing which itself speaks volumes] is hard to comprehend for those who do not grow up in the Chasidishe life, and therefore it is also hard for them to comprehend the enormous and ongoing difficulties.

Luzer, needs EMERGENCY mental help, he is an emotional disturb and depressed young man.
Saying the words Running from hashem will not help him, in the outside world he would long be gone, he needs someone in the mental field to help him.

Luzer was always a pathetic human being, got married into a pathetic family, and thinks the way out of all this is to be even more pathetic to gain attention and sympathy. GROW UP! Luzer your a big “LOOSER”

As a modern orthodox jew who was brought up in an ultra-orthodx home, i can do nothing but sympathize with mr. twersky. i wish more modern orthodox people would be open and honest with me about chassidim and ultra orthodox jewry. its a system where entire communities of kids are thrown into large classes that focus on nothing but intense talmud and restricting almost anything remotely secular. and they do this without considering the fact that just because somebody was born to chassidic parents, he’s automatically going to be able to handle intense talmud and severe restrictions on all remotely secular studies and forms of entertainment.

Mr twersky, i sympathize with you. your not a “luzer” youre a great person-jew, atheist, or whatever you believe.

Listened intently.. and often smiling spontaneously.. to podcast last night (learning to use my first MP3 player), I sending my best wishes to you, Luzer. As an atheist from age 10 or earlier, raised in a Protestant home/family, converted to agnostic in high school, to atheist as soon as I grasped the definition of agnostic. I’ve been able to continue most/many usual activities because my life- my boring English/German descent culture- never revolved around religion. I continue to love the Pagan parts of X-Mas and Easter while smirking at the fabled origins of these winter and spring events. Religion was never integral to school, friendships, travel, eating, movies, etc. I was struck by your challenge of having a happy social life, with things and people who bring familiarity, appreciation and understanding sans religion. I shop on-line at B & H and was thrilled to find that if I ever make it there in person, I could lend a sincere supporting handshake- from a woman.
Though I’m surrounded by piles of good people, despite them being practicing Christians, Jews, Muslims, Hindus and Jains, and related to converted Jews I stand my ground and just tell folks that goodness doesn’t come from fear of hell, or obeying strict nutzy rules.
Luzer, I hope you’re finding your religion free life much as you hoped, or at least feeling better about being YOU. There’s some great things across the globe- go enjoy them. Get off Manhattan for a year… or 10.

It is amazing how much anger, negativity and jelousy this piece has generated.
So many of these comments are a prime example of how horrible people can be to one another.
Thank you for sharing this with us.

Sorry for him. I was raised conservative and later became orthodox. I found that I knew so little about my own religion and it’s exciting to learn more and more every day. If he wants life without boundaries, then just live it and shut up. Why is he airing his personal problems and desires and also his desire to be filthy, that’s a choice also – just go do it and leave the rest of us alone.

Luzer Taierer, many people think that haimishe jewish guys cannot pick up girls with the beard and payes…. they are WRONG, if you know the tricks, and you have the courage GUTS, you can have both worlds.
Guess what, there are so many good orginasations out there to help you train to get a career. Dont bullshit be with footsteps, they might be nice ppl, they might be out there to help you, but cut the crap.
get a life make some real money find yoruself a hot chick and Stop blaming gawd for all your stupidities
Hatzluche RABAH
BTW if you wanna come to my house and make a chulent party sorry with kosher meat, we enjoy ourselves and sing and have fun.
NO CHARGE

congratulations on breaking away and following your own true longing.
every path gets rocky sometimes, but it will still get you somewhere.

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