If you’re anything like me (and let’s hope you’re not), I wake up at least twice a week with an insatiable craving for breakfast tacos. Up here in the land of the bagel, breakfast foods served on tortillas have (culturally speaking) seemingly fallen flat, but for
Texans some of us, the breakfast taco is as central to a weekly routine at throwing out the Tuesday Science section of the Times or changing your socks.
Now, to be completely honest, I almost exclusively use pork when I make breakfast tacos. Since you’re going to cook the potatoes *yes, there will be potatoes* in the delicious grease left from cooked bacon, there is really no other way to live your life. Or so I thought. Then I decided I would try the dish with duck bacon.
One result was a leaner breakfast taco (to be extra suave, I nixed the cheese too). The other result was that I didn’t spend the rest of my day bloated on my couch listening to Morrissey or Ryan Adams.
This is a shockingly easy dish to make, but if you take a few extra steps, you can pass off breakfast tacos as a culinary treasure instead of just something gauche for its own sake.
Here’s what you’ll need for breakfast tacos for two:
4 large eggs
2 medium-sized Yukon Gold potatoes
1 large yellow onion
1 large tomato
1 chopped jalapeno (no seeds unless your in-laws are visiting)
1 can of green chiles in sauce (don’t be scared)
1 package of tortilla (flour is obviously better)
1 8-oz. package of duck bacon*
*4 oz. for the tacos, 4 oz. to eat while you’re making the tacos
Salt, pepper, cayenne, garlic powder
How you do breakfast tacos:
1. Have a glass of water.
2. Start by dropping the duck bacon in a skillet over medium-high heat. Flip as needed till crisp.
3. While bacon sizzles, crank up the volume on a Vox Tablet podcast.
4. Wash and slice your potatoes in cubes. Dice onion into thin strips. Set aside.
5. Remove bacon from the skillet and layer between paper towels. Leave the grease!
(The bottom bacon layer is for the tacos, the top is to sustain the chef.)
6. Lower the heat to medium. Add the potatoes to the skillet along half of the diced onion. Top with salt, pepper, garlic powder, cayenne, and mix around to absorb the bacon grease. About 10 minutes.
7. While the potatoes cook, chop your jalapeno and tomato and drop them in a food processor with the remaining onion and the contents of green chiles can (remove the can, unless you’re anemic). Turn up Vox Tablet podcast louder. PROCESS INTO SALSA!* Taste. Grin smugly.
*You can also chop everything into salsa, but you won’t feel the raw power of liquefying something, a boon to any morning, Also, a shortcut here is to buy a jar of salsa here, but homemade salsa is better for the consistency of the dish and your sense of purpose.
8. Turn on your oven to 200 degrees (FAHRENHEIT!). Wrap tortillas in foil and place in the oven. Set a timer if you’re forgetful.
8. Move the potatoes to the edge of the skillet. Drop in most of your salsa, reserving some to top the tacos or to eat later while listening to Morrissey. The salsa should sizzle a little bit, be proud of yourself.
9. Lightly scramble four eggs in a bowl and add them to the reducing salsa. Lower the heat a touch and stir with potatoes and onions until majestic (and not too runny). Add the duck bacon. Text a picture to your vegan friends.
10. Remove the tortillas from the oven and plate them like moons drawing in waves of egg-bacon-potato goodness. Compose the tacos and top with salsa if needed.
11. Call your mother.