While the rest of America sneers, smiles, and convulses over the signing of erstwhile Jets quarterback Tim Tebow by the New England Patriots, we have much more important housekeeping to do.

First things first, word came yesterday that the New York Mets have called up Josh Satin, who may ultimately replace the newly-demoted Ike Davis at first base, leading Peter Lattman to tweet this priceless reaction:

The jury is still out, but this question prompted another Twitter debate about whether Miami Dolphins quarterbacks Jay Fiedler and Sage Rosenfels ever competed against each other for a job in the NFL. The difference here might be that Rosenfels, name notwithstanding, has spent his career happily passing on being called a Jewish quarterback.

While that sorts itself out, a little more on Josh Satin. He hails from Hidden Hills, California, which, for context, is in The Valley and has a mayor named Steve Freedland. A Harvard-Westlake and UC-Berkeley grad, Satin was a September call-up in 2011 and played for the Mets for one game last season before returning to the minors. (Satin also played for Israel in its ill-fated World Baseball Classic campaign last summer.)

Speaking of teams where there’s not enough room for two Jews, the Chicago Bears, who gained a Jewish head coach in Marc Trestman back in January, dealt Gabe Carimi–once called The Bear Jew–to the seemingly goyische Tampa Bay Buccaneers. (Commenters have since pointed out that all knocks on Tampa should be directed elsewhere: The Bucs already have a Jewish owner and a Jewish player, Malcolm Glazer and Erik Lorig respectively.)

Carimi, a former first-round pick, suffered a string of injuries before more or less revolting against the Bears coaching staff. It’s always bizarre to see a top football prospect get traded for a late-round pick only a few years into his career, but Carimi will now have the chance to work with his old coach from the University of Wisconsin and, should that fail, play some shuffleboard out on Long Boat Key.

Earlier: The Chicago Bears Hire a Jewish Coach
Bears send OL Gabe Carimi to Bucs [ESPN]
Mets call up Josh Satin, Josh Edgin, and Collin Cowgill [AmazinAvenue]