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Prepent 5774: Day 7, Getting Intimate

Sex is prohibited on Yom Kippur—all the more reason to talk about it now

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(Tablet Magazine)

Journey into the High Holidays with Amichai Lau-Lavie, founder of Storahtelling and the spiritual leader of Lab/Shul. It’s a daily dose of inspiration to get you focused and ready for the new year, featuring daily intentions, simple tasks, and tools for living better.

This may not be of equal concern to all of you prepenting along with me, but as I take time each day to ponder what aspects of my life require attention, refinement, and work, sex is on the top 10 list. 

Married or single, straight or LGBTQ, the way we crave, consume, use, misuse, or avoid intimacy greatly impacts our general wellness—even if we prefer not to think about it. (Though we do seem to think about it often; a 2012 study revealed that men think about sex approximately 34 times a day and women 19.) 

But how often do we really take the time to evaluate what’s working, what’s not, and what we can do about it? 

I’m currently a single, gay man in New York City. While a long-term relationship would be great (I’m open to suggestions!), I’m focusing on bettering myself right now (see days one through six). One thing I want to work on is the elevation of the physical into a sacred and meaningful realm. What about you?

This morning I spoke with Esther Perel, a couples therapist and author of the best-selling book Mating in Captivity. There’s no better time to address intimacy in an honest and healthy way, so we’ve decided to host a special program on the night of Yom Kippur, an open forum to discuss the three F-words: fornication, fidelity, and forgiveness. According to Jewish tradition, Yom Kippur is the one night you’re not supposed to have sex—so we may as well talk about it.

Today’s Prepent challenge: What am I grateful for when it comes to sex?

What do I want to do better next year, and what needs to be changed about my attitude, expectations, and approach to intimacy? 

What else should we be asking? How else can we make Dr. Ruth proud? I’d love to hear from you. 

Follow along with the Scroll’s daily Prepent series here.

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Prepent 5774: Day 7, Getting Intimate

Sex is prohibited on Yom Kippur—all the more reason to talk about it now

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