Please don’t send me any emails today. Don’t call. Don’t expect attention, affection, or even basic human acknowledgment. As soon as I can, I’m running home, turning on my PlayStation, and jumping right in to South Park: The Stick of Truth. Released today, the game lets you play as the new kid in town—no matter what name you type in, by the way, you’ll be referred to, in cheerful South Park tradition, as “douchebag”—and partake in a fantasy-themed adventure featuring all of the TV show’s beloved characters.
Because this is a role-playing game, the character you choose can be a fighter, a paladin, a mage, and a thief. And because this is a South Park role-playing game, he can also be a Jew. Which, considering the fact that the game’s magical realm is called KKK and ruled by the Grand Wizard Eric Cartman, promises to be a lot of fun, especially when the Jew wears a tallis as a kind of armor, possesses a weapon called the Sling of David, and shoots off Hebrew letters to fend off enemies, a move known as Jew-jitsu.
If you’re a fan of the show, you know just what to expect. If you’re not, you may want to pick up a copy of the game and play the Jew.