Ted Cruz—a “defender of Israel” who once said “If you will not stand with Israel and the Jews, then I will not stand with you”—came under fire last week when he called out Donald Trump’s “New York values” (vis–à–vis South Carolina’s). The media took hold of it, interpreting Cruz’s words as anti-Semitic and otherwise bigoted. So did Saturday Night Live (they’re still making it!):

“Instead of celebrating Christmas, New Yorkers celebrate a Pagan holiday called Festivus,” said Taran Killam, who plays Ted Cruz in the skit. “Instead of watching American football, they challenge each other to masturbation contests. In New York, people don’t say “hi” to their neighbors, they say, ‘Hellloo, Newman’.”

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