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It Oughta Be Kosher!

This Passover, help yourself to some cookie dough

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Cookie dough (presumably not Pesadik).(Flickr)

Look, this isn’t going to be one of those rants about corn syrup. Every person who’s ever had to keep kosher for Passover has at some point wondered why things with corn syrup in them—which is to say, things made with corn (which, if you believe Michael Pollan, is pretty much everything)—are not Pesadik. Well, because corn has been known to go into the making of bread, and corn used to be tilled in the same soil as wheat, which also made bread, and bread, and bread-like things, should not be eaten during Passover. Because what you are supposed to be doing is re-enacting—indeed, you are re-living—the experience of those Jews who could not wait for their dough to rise and so ate matzoh while fleeing from slavery, etc., etc. If you want to throw corn into the prohibited pile along with bread and pizza and the like, then OK. Anything to get Coca-Cola to produce Coke with real sugar once a year.

Cookie dough—normal cookie dough, not special, kosher-for-Passover cookie dough—is another matter, though. It is of course chametz, since it invariably contains flour or wheat or something used to make cookies, and said materials invariably were made wet for over the 18-minute limit. To be honest, most cookie dough, particularly of the store-bought variety, probably contains corn syrup, too. And don’t tell me about corn syrup—I know all about corn syrup.

But, c’mon! Think this through! Cookie dough should be kosher for Passover. It is the very definition of what ought to be kosher for Passover: would-be bread that specifically hasn’t been baked. It is the precise sort of thing you would grab for a nosh if you didn’t have enough time to prepare properly—because, maybe, oh, I dunno, you were fleeing Pharaoh! Eating cookie dough on Passover? It shouldn’t just be countenanced—it should be encouraged! We should be slathering it onto the afikomen for dessert!

This is all by way of saying I had some cookie dough ice cream last night. And you should know I made a sacrifice in doing so: I specifically and deliberately did not eat cookies-and-cream ice cream—which I prefer!—because, after all, it’s Passover, and once we were slaves, and now we are free.

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dan sickles says:

this sounds like a conversation between you and God.

tkob says:

Wow, I’m a bit shocked. Why would you write a whole column just to tell people you don’t keep Pesach? Has Tablet become a forum for those who don’t follow Halacha to cenfess their transgressions??? I am really shocked that the editors would print such an article. What’s the point? Is this an April Fool’s joke? If so, not funny sir, not funny.

For that matter, chicken should be parve. You can’t cook a chicken in its mother’s milk, can you? [no, you cannot!].

Janet says:

April Fools! You can easily make KFP cookie dough. Just google gluten-free chocolate chip cookies, and you’ll get lots of recipes, all of which are kosher for Sephardim, and some of which are kosher for Ashkenazim. An easy way is to make regular chocolate chip cookie dough, substitute corn or tapioca starch for all the flour, and add in a packet of instant pudding (tapioca makes it kosher for Ashkenazim). If you like peanut butter cookies: 1/2 c peanut butter, 1/2 c sugar, 1 egg, and 1 c chocolate chips makes great cookies, and those are kosher for everyone. There’s no reason to eat chametz during Pesach. And some of us don’t eat chametz year round.

jeez, tracy, why don’t you just roll some cookie dough in calamari, pigs and the collected works of edward said?

kosher in detroit says:

Aside from the obvious “this is completely ridiculous comment,” why would you bother committing yourself to eating raw cookie when there are tons of other opportunities out there for delicious K for P foods? Before I get into the glory of flourless chocolate cakes, meringues, and brownies, let’s discuss cookie dough.

You are eating raw eggs. If there is one basic rule of kitchen cleanliness, it is that you avoid contaminating yourself with raw or undercooked eggs, fish, and meat. These are breeding grounds for diseases. Furthermore, if you are looking at your container of store-bought cookie dough and don’t recognize an ingredient (i.e. brominated soybean oil), or notice that the egg has been sitting in that batch for weeks, if not months, it is probably a good idea to avoid it.

And Janet makes a good point, K for P cookies are possible, and when done well, quite delicious.

Elaine says:

OK people — get a life. This was published on
April 1 — April fools’ day. And Marc really got you didn’t he.

Josh R. says:

You people are too serious and crazy.

Marc Tracy says:

Elaine, great point, but while I was being only half-serious and certainly intentionally provocative, it was not intended as an actual prank. Tho I suppose I should just shut up and let you all believe it was! Anyway, update imminently …

Sandra D. says:

OMG!!!! I thought it was the Muslims I had to worry about. But now I see it will be death by cookie dough. Cookie dough will lead to the ultimate destruction of the Jews!!!! REALLY GUYS!!! Get a grip!!!! Very funny article… got a good laugh and laughter (unlike corn syrup) is healthy, as the saying goes, “laughter is the best medicine”. So all you pesadicha bah humbugsteins, the Jewish Ebeneezer Scrooges… get a life and learn how to laugh before the ghost of Pesach past comes to pay you a vist next erev Pesach!!!!!

scott says:

this is hilarious.

No, you can’t cook a chicken in its mothers milk. Most kosher laws were made hundreds or thousands of years ago by men you’ve never met or heard of. They were designed by man to make you keep your faith.

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It Oughta Be Kosher!

This Passover, help yourself to some cookie dough

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