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A Yidisher Pop

Pies in their faces

by
Adina Cimet & Alyssa Quint
August 27, 2010

This week’s installment is about male regression and female transgression. Let’s get right to it:

טײַגער װוּדס האָט לעצטנס פֿאַרלאָרן אַ שפּיל און איצט אַ װײַב. שװער צו זאָגן וואָס איז וויכטיקער פֿאַר אים.

Transliteration: Tayger Vuds hot letstns farlorn a shpil un itst a vayb. Shver tsu zogn vos iz vikhtiker far im.

Meaning: Tiger Woods recently lost a game and now a wife. Hard to say which is more important to him.

[audio:https://www.tabletmag.com/wp-content/uploads/ayp/08/sounds/tigerwoods.mp3]

זיך פֿאַרדרײט מיט אַ פֿאַרהײראַטן מאַן און איצט האָט זי טענות?

Transliteration: Zikh fardreyt mit a farheyratn man un itst hot zi taynes?

Meaning: She messed around with a married man and now SHE has complaints?

פֿאַרדאַמפּט. סוף-כל-סוף רעזיגנירט צוליב אַ געװאַלדיקן פֿלעק. באַשמוצט אַנדערע פֿיל מאָל…קומט עס איר!

Transliteration: Fardampt. Sof-kol-sof rezignirt tsulib a gevaldikn flek. Bashmutst andere fil mol…kumt es ir!

Meaning: Indicted. Finally she resigns after a major misstep. She insulted so many so often…she deserves it.

מען געדענקט אים אויף דער פּאָדלאָגע מיט אַ צעפֿאַלענעם קעז-בוּרגער׃ איצט קען ער לאַכן פֿוּן זיך אַלײן.

Transliteration: Men gedenkt im oyf der podloge mit a tsefalenem kez-burger: itst ken er lakhn fun zikh aleyn.

Meaning: We remember him and his cheeseburger strewn on the ground; now he can laugh at himself.

פֿאַרװאָס אַזאַ שלעגער? פֿרעגט מען אים. "װײַל כ׳בין ניט קײן טענצער אָדער זינגער.” זײַן פֿאָלגרײַכער סעקרעט.

Transliteration: Farvos aza shleger? fregt men im. “Vayl kh’bin nit keyn tentser oder zinger.” Zayn folgraykher sekret.

Meaning: Why a fighter? he was asked. “Because I am not a dancer or singer.” His secret to success.

Articles, Nouns and Adjectives אַרטיקלען, סובסטאַנטיװן און אַדיעקטיװן

Singular אײנצאָל
In Yiddish, singular articles and adjective endings correspond with the gender of each noun. So “the” is either דער (masculine), די (feminine) or דאָס (neuter). Adjective endings are either ער- (masculine), ע- (feminine), or ע- (neuter).

With our newsmakers in mind:

דער גיכער גט The quick divorce
די משוּגענע פֿרוי The crazy lady
דאָס לעצטע װאָרט The last word

Other declensions apply in other cases (Yiddish has nominative, accusative and dative cases).

Plural מערצאָל
To form the plural with all nouns (masculine, feminine and neuter) use די.

.מיר געזעגענען זיך פֿון די שײנע פּערזענלעכקײַטן אָבער ניט פֿון אונדזערע לײענערס
We are bidding farewell to these lovely characters but not our readers.

And for an extra bit of Yiddish wisdom as we approach the New Year:

.אחר המעשה העלפֿט קײן חרטה ניט
Regret after the fact is no help.

.קײנער קען קײן הינדל ניט שטעכן אַז ס׳זאָל ניט גײן קײן בלוט
No one can prick a hen without drawing blood.

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