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Rolling Stoned

Can you tell the difference between Keith and George?

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(Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images)

Two icons have just published autobiographies of great interest to Jewish readers. The first is the story of a rock star supplied with wholesale amounts of cocaine by a Yiddish-accented Holocaust survivor. The second is the story of a president who turned in his bourbon for chummy chats with Ehud Olmert. Keith Richards’s Life is 576 pages; George W. Bush’s Decision Points is 512. Rather than make you read both (or either), instead play our quiz: Can you guess which is from which? Answers after the jump.

1. “Charlie decided we needed more alcohol to enjoy the experience fully. To our amazement, he was able to convince a stagehand that Willie Nelson needed some beer. The guy dutifully went out and bought the beer with Charlie’s money. Charlie left one case for Willie and snuck one back to us. We hunched over in our seats and drank like thirst-ravaged wanderers.”

2. “I underwent medical tests to prove that I was drug free. … Then Nixon resigned.”

3. “You don’t realize what a weird place you’re growing up in.”

4. “We lived in a tiny apartment and shared a bathroom with—depending on whom you ask—either one or two prostitutes.”

5. “If you are going to f— me, you better give me a kiss first.”

6. “This little bearded Jewish gnome who would sit naked out in the garden and sort of spew down at people who drove by. He was going through his naturist stage, which was a bit terrifying for Long Island.”

7. “I went on racking my memory for a single dry day over the past few weeks; then the past month; then longer. I could not remember one. Drinking had become a habit. I have a habitual personality.”

8. “I can’t remember any sense of fear or apprehension about quitting. It was just, this is what has to be done, and it has to be done now.”

9. “I knew what she was thinking. I had talked about quitting before, and nothing had come of it. What she didn’t know was that this time I had changed on the inside—and that would enable me to change my behavior forever.”

10. “‘Are my testicles black?’”

ANSWERS
1. Decision Points.

2. Life.

3. Life.

4. Decision Points.

5. Decision Points.

6. Life.

7. Decision Points.

8. Life.

9. Decision Points.

10. Decision Points. (The author is quoting his father,George H. W. Bush.)

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howard says:

What a stupid article!!!

Jennifer Gruenhagen says:

Actually I think this article gives some great insights into the two authors. These are not books I would ever be inclined to read. This article has certainly made me interested in both books. Though I can’t say that it has changed my inclination. I certainly would not in any way want to help make Mr. Bush any richer than he already is.

Marianna says:

@howard:
I think it’s pretty interesting that the stories of a two-term US President and a druggie entertainer have so much in common that a casual look can’t necessarily tell them apart. Raises many questions in my mind about the effectiveness of American democracy. So, not stupid at all.

Benjamin says:

@Marianna:
I am the last one to defend W, but how do quotes relating to his past life as a heavy drinker–a fact known before he was elected–raise questions about the effectiveness of American democracy? Or is it the apparently mundane matters W wrote about–as reflected solely by the five out-of-context quotes Liel Leibovitz selected for this silly article–that causes you to doubt American democracy?

M. Brukhes says:

In hindsight perhaps Keith Richards WOULD have been a better president….

You actually make it appear really easy along with your presentation however I in finding this matter to be really something that I believe I’d by no means understand. It sort of feels too complicated and extremely wide for me. I am taking a look forward in your subsequent publish, Iˇ¦ll try to get the grasp of it!

When you cannot make up your mind which of two evenly balanced courses of action you should take – choose the bolder. -William Joseph Slim

Noticing I’m losing weight #yessss

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Rolling Stoned

Can you tell the difference between Keith and George?

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