Sundown: Happy Birthday, Bro

Tablet Magazine won’t be posting tomorrow and content will be light next week. Also, Marc Tracy will be back! Whether you’re eating Chinese food or sugar plums, watching Christmas pageants or True Grit—have a happy holidays.

• David Brooks and Gail Collins have a super funny conversation on why keeping Christmas religious is good for the Jews. I do not believe he really dated a girl named Holly Jolly. [NYT]

• This account of Jewish witches torturing inmates at Guantanamo is kind of funny, until you realize that between the lines they’re also describing an entire prison going insane. [Gawker]

• Hall of Famer Larry Brown has resigned from coaching the Charlotte Bobcats. Did I say Hall of Famer? I meant best coach in the history of the sport. [Kaplan Korner]

• Speaking of which, Phil Jackson (the son of two ministers, and whose “unbeatable” Lakers were defeated by Brown’s Pistons for the championship in 2003-04) went on a tirade against the NBA for ‘forcing’ teams to play on Christmas. Ron Kaplan takes issue. [Kaplan Korner]

• Nancy Lieberman, pioneer of the sport, is possibly the first woman coach in the NBA. [NYT]

• President Shimon Peres wishes everyone a merry Christmas, also clearly terrifies children. [Haaretz]

Safe travels!