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Talking With Abraham

Contribute to Liana Finck’s ‘Tell Mitzi’ column

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(Liana Finck/Tablet Magazine)

Check out Liana Finck’s third installment of “Tell Mitzi” today. She responds to a funny nightmare!

Now it’s time for you to help her out again. This week, Liana wants to know: If you could have a conversation with any Biblical figure, who would it be and what would you talk about? Leave ‘em in the comments, and maybe she will respond to yours in next week’s “Tell Mitzi.”

Related: Wake Up! [Tablet Magazine]

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Wendy Rozov says:

It would SO have to be Jesus (ok, not OUR bible, but a bible figure nonetheless…).

I’d ask, “Yo bro, what’s up with this immaculate conception thing? And, those disciples you hang out with- did you ever worry some of them might have, um, an agenda? And, truly, this “son of G-d” idea- your own, or what?”

I’d also want to know the secret to wine production from water- seems like that would have some cool applications for a party function today!

Lot’s wife. I would say, “What’s your name?”

I’d ask Moses about Halacha. How much of it is stuff God really wants us to do, and how much of it just stuff people made up over time?

great one, Tsivia. did you ever read Sylvester and the Magic Pebble? i bet if you actually found Lot’s wife, and picnicked next to her, she WOULD be able to tell you her name.

Susan: I wonder what Moses would say. I wonder what his voice sounded like. Wendy: Jesus would probably answer from an unexpected corner of the room. Funny how both of them worked magic on water.

Mitzi: do you think she was a donkey?

Tsivia: I don’t think so. A donkey would have turned into a boulder. Maybe a deer?

Jordan says:

To Eve, “Where did Cain get his wife?”

To Abraham, “How would you have felt if Pharaoh had had sex with your wife?”

To Abraham, “And just what did you think was going to happen to Hagar and Ishmael?”

To Isaac, “Tell me how you felt about your father following Mount Moriah.”

To Dathan (Datan): “What did you think of Edward G. Robinson’s acting in The Ten Commandments?”

To Ezekiel, “What were you on?”

To Obadiah (Ovadia), “Isn’t there anything else you would care to say?”

To Job, “I am sorry to tell you this whole thing was a test cooked up my God and Satan. Now, how do you feel?”

To King David, “Who was that woman I saw you with last night?”

To Jonathan, “What are your thoughts on gay marriage?”

Jordan says:

(I knew I forgot one.)

To Balaam’s ass, “Redn Yiddish?”

Barbara says:

I would like to hear Leah’s story of her life from her perspective… How would Jane Austen have described that whole family??

at least Euridice had a name (and some pomegranite seeds)

pomegranate

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Talking With Abraham

Contribute to Liana Finck’s ‘Tell Mitzi’ column

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