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Ice Cream Holiday

If Ben & Jerry’s flavors were Jewish

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Sacré berry!(Len Small/Tablet Magazine)

It’s the best day of the year—Free Cone Day at Ben & Jerry’s! Last year, we suggested some potential Jewish flavors, and, below, we have a few more. Don’t forget to leave yours in the comments!

Sephardic Stew: Saffron ice cream with raisins.

Afikomen Delight: Chocolate ice cream with exactly one piece of matzah per pint.

Yerushalayim Shel Pecan: Caramel ice cream with real pecans and pie crust.

Bernard-Henri Berry: Burgundy ’82-flavored ice cream—it’s a fine vintage—with blackberry swirl.

Lamb’s Blood Orange Sorbet: This is actually just blood orange sorbet.

Trayf: Bacon bits and mascarpone cheese and vanilla ice cream, for those who define their Jewishness by eating non-Jewish food.

The BDS: Blueberry ice cream, dark chocolate chips, and a swirl of caramel, served in a flotilla-shaped cup.

Lieberman Surprise: Actually just Chunky Monkey.

Goldstone Stonecold: Crow-flavored.

Earlier: It’s Free Cone Day at Ben & Jerry’s!

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Meryl Wheeler says:

Don’t forget Bubbe’s favorite “It’s all right, I’ll just have plain vanilla.”

In order to truly capture the je ne sais quoi of its namesake, Bernard-Henri Berry would of course need to come with the top left slightly ajar!

jeff says:

Excellent photoshop job indeed. That’s the best flavor by far in the graveyard. RIP Kaberry Kaboom.

Jacob Blues says:

I hate to break it to you, but The Big Book of Jewish Humor published a better list more than 20 years ago.

Hey, That’s My Chickpea Paste! One side of the container contains hummus ice cream, and the other side of the container contains the exact same hummus ice cream. While eating the hummus ice cream, the consumer has to mutter about genocide and cultural appropriation.

Lynne T says:

I’d leave mine, but I’d rather collect a royalty from B & G’s or some other premium ice cream maker.

Chana Batya says:

10 Plagues ice cream:

Vanilla ice cream with:

blood: raspberry swirl
frogs: green jelly-bellies, apple flavored
lice: chocolate chips
beasts: big walnut pieces
cattle plague: small walnut pieces
boils: red jelly bellies, cinnamon flavored
hail: white jelly-bellies, pineapple flavored
locusts: raisins
darkness: chocolate swirl
killing of the first-born: eat the whole pint yourself. Wait 10 years!

A pleasant change from the tsores of the world and more mature than some other comments around the place

Stop talking about Ben and Jerry’s already! The company was sold 10 years ago to multinational conglomerate Unilever so it is not even an American company, much less Jewish. The ice cream is loaded up with all sorts of profitable adulterants, it doesn’t even taste the same as it was before the sale. You suckers need to recognize clever marketing that misrepresents the product.

Neil R says:

From memory, many likely read decades ago in Response Magazine (z”l) and aforementioned Big Book of Jewish Humor.

Some of these flavors may only be purchased at Paskin Robbins stores.

Micha Mocha
Ram Bam Bon
Yerusha Lime
Berry Preehagafen
Halvah Nagila
Cherry Bim Bonbons

Here’s an idea for a holiday gift – a language course. There are lots of introductory language products that are inexpensive, educational and fun without being too ‘academic’ (let’s face it, who wants to be ‘academic’ during the holidays?) They would make a great gift for a student or language enthusiast, or even for someone taking a trip in the near future.

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Ice Cream Holiday

If Ben & Jerry’s flavors were Jewish

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