Gettin’ Jiggy wit It
Will Smith* accused of rape!
Just when you thought the Israeli parents who named their baby daughter Like, as in Facebook, are the biggest morons of the month, another sharp mind out of Israel rides to the rescue. Meet Will Smith.
This man, who is 30 and resides in the godforsaken southern dust town of Netivot, was born with a different name. But whatever his birth name might have been—the Israeli media were not specific (Hebrew-only)—the man thought he needed a better one to help him with the ladies. Naturally, he chose to name himself after the movie star, which he did, officially, filing papers with the Ministry of the Interior. Having become Will Smith, Mr. Smith ran out to take his new name for a test run. He walked into a bar, found a 17-year-old girl, chatted her up. When she wanted to go home, he slapped her hard, forced her into a car, and drove away. You know, just like Will Smith does in The Pursuit of Happyness. Luckily, some cops spotted him going about his rapey business, and he was immediately arrested. He will bust out of jail next summer with the help of a wisecracking Jason Segal in an as-yet-untitled film to be directed by Michael Bay.
Earlier: A Girl Named Like