Your email is not valid
Recipient's email is not valid
Submit Close

Your email has been sent.

Click here to send another

thescroll_header

Amar’e Stoudemire Is Solomon for Halloween

It’s actually the perfect costume

Print Email
Amar’e Stoudemire as King Solomon.(@Amareisreal)

YOU. GUYS. This, apparently, is kosher-keeping, Israel-touring New York Knicks star power forward Amar’e Stoudemire’s Halloween costume this year. (Full picture below—I think he’s wearing Tevas!) Much as Solomon traveled south to Ethiopia, according to Twitter Stoudemire is in Miami. He is practicing, he said, his “#deepvoice.” And here he is. It’s a sensationally appropriate costume. Consider:

• Solomon splits babies, Stoudemire splits double teams.

• Both traveled east to pursue success (respectively, the banks of the Euphrates and Madison Square Garden) after failing on a west coast (among the Philistines, with the Lakers).

• Both are notable writers (Song of Solomon, @Amareisreal).

• Both had codependent relationships with a Gentile from a northern country (Hiram and Steve Nash).

• Solomon is a man of the hills, Stoudemire a man of the low post.

• Both had sidekicks with funny names (Zadok, Carmelo) and eminent mentors (the Prophet Nathan, Anna Wintour).

• Both lust for an idyllic figure from the far south (Queen of Sheba, Chris Paul).

• Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines, Stoudemire scored 1,971 points last season.

• Relatedly: seven seconds or less.

So, happy Halloween to all. And Amar’e: please consider Moshe Dayan for Purim. You’d love the eyepatch.

(Thanks to Ben J., from whom I stole most of these jokes.)

Earlier: Stoudemire Not Jewish, But Still Kosher
Amar’e Stoudemire’s Excellent Israeli Adventure

Print Email
Christopher Orev says:

Thanks for sharing. One correction, though: King Amar’e played for the Phoenix Suns, not the Lakers.

Marc Tracy says:

@Christopher the Lakers defeated the Suns in Amar’e's last conference finals

Christopher Orev says:

Thanks for the clarification, Marc. Given the Philistines mention, I should have put on my thinking cap rather than wrongly call out. My bad.

I just choose the information a lot, I do hope you could very well blog much more about it.

2000

Your comment may be no longer than 2,000 characters, approximately 400 words. HTML tags are not permitted, nor are more than two URLs per comment. We reserve the right to delete inappropriate comments.

Thank You!

Thank you for subscribing to the Tablet Magazine Daily Digest.
Please tell us about you.

Amar’e Stoudemire Is Solomon for Halloween

It’s actually the perfect costume

More on Tablet:

A Rosh Hashanah Meal With Meaning

By Rachel Harkham — Recipes featuring the Talmud’s five ingredients for a sweet new year