A Miami Jewish plastic surgeon who likes to call himself Dr. Schnoz has made a video, directed by an Orthodox guy and starring a Jewish version of Blink 182 called The Groggers, in which a pre-nose job Jewish boy (kippah and all!) can’t get the girl (blonde and implicitly shikse, naturally) because his nose is too big, a “Jewcan Sam” in fact. The video feels like an afterschool special in which the protagonist realizes that the girl is superficial, loses interest (oh and then she gets hit by a bus, like in Mean Girls, or something), and finds his soulmate, who also has a big nose. It sorta goes in that direction: shikse says, “I also only date football players,” but the teacher, “Miss Bernstein,” newly finds our hero attractive and gives him her number. Fin.

Fortunately, the video is too stupid to be harmful, even if that hasn’t stopped the American Society of Plastic Surgeons from investigating the doctor for failing to “uphold the dignity and honor of the medical profession.” I’m going to choose to see it more as representative of Miami, also the setting of Nip/Tuck. Good luck getting Peyton Manning, guys! But I hear he only dates real football teams.

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