• The Obama administration has approved a $30 billion arms deal with Saudi Arabia. Israel tends to be leery about such things, although the two countries share an enemy in Iran. [NYT]

• “It is incredible that a Republican candidate for president in the year 2012, supported by white supremacists, Jew haters and gay bashers, is a frontrunner in the upcoming Iowa caucus.” –Hizzoner Ed Koch. [Capital]

• Egyptian security services raided the offices of several NGOs yesterday, prompting U.S. condemnation. [Yahoo! The Envoy]

• Low-level rocket-firing and retaliation between Gaza and Israel continues. One man was killed in an airstrike this morning as he prepared to launch a missile into Israel. [Haaretz]

• The imam behind the Ground Zero Islamic center has a plan for a new holy month in which hostilities are suspended and Jews, Christians, and Muslims make pilgrimages to the Holy Land. This idea will probably have as much success as the Islamic center. [Haaretz]

• The U.S. has released $40 million in aid to the Palestinian Authority—it’s economic and humanitarian assistance, not security. [AP/JTA]

• Mazel tov to the Philadelphia students who had 687 dreidels (at least!) spinning simultaneously, tentatively setting a new world record. [JTA]

Happy new year!

New York: Hanukkah is in the air at the Jewish Museum, where author and illustrator Maurice Sendak has curated a selection of 32 Hanukkah lamps (through Jan. 29, $12 museum admission). The New York Historical Society is celebrating A New York Hanukkah, displaying a Hanukkiah designed by Bronx-based silversmith Bernard Bernstein (through Jan. 8, $15 admission). For something more crowd-sourced, head uptown to Grand Army Plaza Tuesday evening (and each subsequent night of Hanukkah) for the lighting of the world’s largest menorah—it’s 23 feet tall and weighs 4,000 pounds. Or pick up Israeli designer Laura Cowan’s more portable slide magnet menorah from new Brooklyn design store Module R and arrange the candles any way you like (Module R, $225). Trust us, we know menorahs.

Newly shorn reggae singer Matisyahu brings his annual Festival of Light to the Music Hall of Williamsburg Monday night for four nights of concerts. Maybe, just maybe, he’ll eke out eight nights (Dec. 19, 20, 21, 8 p.m.; Dec. 22, 7 p.m., $35). For those equally ambivalent on facial hair, perhaps this beanie hat with detachable yarn beard is just the ticket (Moderntribe.com, $35). The National Yiddish Theater-Folksbiene brings their old school charm to the Arts World Financial Center Sunday with My Yiddishe Chanukah, a festive showcase of holiday songs and klezmer melodies (Dec. 18, 12 p.m., free). On Tuesday, The Sephardic Music Festival presents popular musical acts Nuriya, Pharaoh’s Daughter, and Haale at Le Poisson Rouge (Dec. 20, 7 p.m., $18), while the band Girls in Trouble, led by Alicia Jo Rabin, takes the stage Wednesday at the Museum of Jewish Heritage (Dec. 21, 7 p.m., $15). After their set, head to the museum’s gift shop and pick up these awesome-looking eco-friendly dreidels made from recycled newspaper (Pickman Museum Shop, $10-$15).

The third annual Latke Festival takes place Monday evening, with attendees sampling the potato-pancake offerings of local restaurants like Kutsher’s Tribeca and Veselka and judges choosing the winning recipe (Dec. 19, 6:30 p.m., $30). For that vain latke enthusiast in your life, how about the I’m So Flippin’ Hot mirrored spatula? They’ll thank you later, we promise (Fred Flare, $24). If you’re shopping for more of a foodie, we recommend this mildly offensive Ah Choo pepper mill—shaped like a giant nose. Form and function! (Fred Flare, $22). Or take them to Shelsky’s Smoked Fish in Brooklyn and enjoy the holiday menu, which boasts five different potato latke items. Christmas envy? Not on our watch.

Girl-power aficionado Gloria Steinem joins the activism-inclined five-piece pop rock band Betty for their late show on Tuesday (Dec. 20, 9:30 p.m., $25), while the Schlep Sisters host the fifth annual burlesque holiday show, Menorah Horah, tomorrow night (Dec. 15, 8 p.m., $15 general admission). Since the somewhat disappointing Nice Jewish Guys 2012 calendar just might not do it for most of your gal pals, support female graphic artists and instead gift Kate Beaton’s new book, Hark! A Vagrant (TopatoCo, $19.95). Another option for the superheroes in your life—the more Jewish, the better, some say—is Peter A. David’s new book, The Spider Man Vault (Amazon, $28.30). And if you’re still up for more partying after Hanukkah ends, you can always celebrate New Year’s Eve with the riotous Sandra Bernhard at Joe’s Pub (Dec. 31, 11 p.m., $150).

Elsewhere: Nextbook Press deputy editor Wayne Hoffman will discuss his new novel, Sweet Like Sugar, on Sunday at congregation Oseh Shalom in Maryland. An exhibit on Chicago’s Jewish history runs through the end of the month (through Dec. 29, free). In San Francisco, the Contemporary Jewish Museum plays host to a Houdini-themed Hanukkah concert on Thursday, with Leonard Cohen tunes performed by all-male musical group, Conspiracy of Beards (Dec. 22, 6 p.m., $5). On Monday, the Klezmatics perform a holiday concert Monday at the L.A. Philharmonic (Dec. 19, 8 p.m., $38 and up).

At the Jewish Community Center of San Francisco, New York Times reporter Diana Henriques discusses Bernie Madoff—the grinchiest Grinch of all—whose case she reported on extensively, visiting Madoff twice in jail (Dec. 21, 7 p.m., $20). On a lighter, less scandalous note, the San Francisco MOMA offers a screening of Stanley Kubrick’s 1968 sci-fi creation, 2001: A Space Odyssey (Dec. 29, 7 p.m., $5). Bring these trippy Dreidel Vision Goggles for full viewing effect (The Jewish Museum, $3). But please, don’t spin and drive.

Abroad: London’s Jewish Community Centre hosts a three-day-long, family-friendly Hanukkah party (Dec. 18, 2-4 p.m.; Dec. 19, 20, 11 a.m.-4 p.m., free). Groovy, baby? Jerusalem’s Encore Educational Theatre Company tackles yet another Gilbert and Sullivan musical, putting on seven showings of H.M.S. Pinafore (Dec. 27-Jan. 5, see showtimes, NIS 100). For the younger relatives in Israel, children’s game Bananagrams is now available in Hebrew (Modern Tribe, $20).

Happy holidays. Agenda returns in January, 2012.

Tips: culture@tabletmag.com

• The U.S. State Department chastised Israel over its announcement of new building in the settlement of Ariel. [Reuters/Haaretz]

• Twilight actress Kristen Stewart, apparently not a Jew, nonetheless got her start singing “a more serious dreidel song” (which is to say, presumably not the “I made it out of clay” one). [W]

• Splitsville for the Madoffs. [JTA]

• The U.S. military has learned several counterinsurgency tactics from the Israelis. [Abu Muqawama]

• Camp Be’chol Lashon, in Marin County, California, is specifically for Jews of color. [NYT]

Amy Winehouse made out of pills? Amy Winehouse made out of pills.

Because—and here’s my point—has anyone actually ever successfully played the game? You know the rules. You put your gelt in the center and take turns spinning. Get a gimel, you get the pot. Get a nun, nothing happens. get a hei, you get half the pot. Get a shin, you put back in the pot (depending on various rules I’ve played) one of your gelts, half your gelt, or all your gelt.

See the problem? The game is over basically right after it’s begun! At best, it turns into some weird and boring stalemate-cum-lesson on fractions, in which you learn that if you keep halving a pile you will never get to zero. Moreover, the game requires none of those characteristics—wit, ingenuity, or even brute strength—that the Maccabes used to vanquish those evil Syrian bastards two thousand-plus years ago.

Oh, and raise your hand if you’ve ever actually made your dreidel out of clay? I thought so.

I’m going to let Howard Jacobson, writing in today’s Times, have the last word:

How many years did I feign excitement when this nothing of a toy was produced? The dreidel would appear and the whole family would fall into some horrible imitation of shtetl simplicity, spinning the dreidel and pretending to care which character was uppermost when it landed. Who did we think we were—the Polish equivalent of the Flintstones?

BUT STILL: Happy almost-Hanukkah!

Major League Dreidel’s Spinagogue [Modern Tribe]
Hanukkah, Rekindled [NYT]
Yeshiva U. Group Tops Dreidel-Spinning Mark [JTA]

Plush Mohel Scissors

The perfect gift for a new baby, a jealous older sibling, or a little feminist who is really, really annoyed about the Stupak-Pitts amendment.

Available at Oytoys.com, $6.95 plus shipping.

Ten Plagues Finger Puppets

Why does hail look like Conan O’Brien? Why does darkness look like a throwback to a minstrel show? Why would you encourage your child to put a slain first-born on his wedding-ring finger? Is it some kind of subliminal “marry a Jew or you’re dead to me” messaging? You know what, just put the other nine puppets away and have your kid walk around with the dead first-born on his ring finger, croaking “Redrum! Redrum!” It will freak out your college student cousin who got high in the car before coming in for latkes.

Available at Judaica Enterprises, $18 plus shipping.

Star of David 3D Glasses

Your child is asking uncomfortable questions. Why does everyone have a Christmas tree except us? Why doesn’t Santa visit my house? Why do all these twinkling lights make me feel so lonely? Before you cave and get a Hanukkah bush, slap a pair of Star of David 3D glasses on the kid’s face and watch his eyes light up! Every bulb, streetlamp, and Christmas light he sees will be transformed into spinning holographic images of Jewish stars. Crisis averted!

Available at Gemini Specs, $1.95 plus shipping.

Samson Action Figure

Wait, his hair is plastic. I guess we could melt it. I totally know where Mom hides the matches. Or we could try to carve it with the electric knife you stole from the drawer. God, could his face look any less badass? He looks like Hannah Montana’s dad.

Available at Amazon.com, $29.95, eligible for free shipping with Amazon Prime.

Harvey Nagila Dancing Doll

True story. My dad got us this toy when Josie was tiny. Josie took one look at its impassive, sunglassed face and clung to my leg. When Harvey began shimmying to Hava Nagila, she screamed and crawled behind the couch so fast she left skid marks. Harvey sat, unloved, on a shelf for three years until Maxine was born. We took it down again. Because we are stupid. When Harvey began to clap, Maxine let out an inhuman wail, covered her face, and started shaking. She became haunted by it, her own personal dybbuk, and, in a ritualistic fervor that would make Freud proud, insisted on watching it dance over and over, quaking as it scared the bejeezus out of her. Buy Harvey Nagila and you too will know this fun.

Available at Traditions Jewish Gifts, $17.95 plus shipping.

Techno Draydel with Lights and Sound Effects

Do you miss the rave scene of the carefree early 90s? Give little Ezekiel a bottle of water, a glowstick, some massage oil, and this toy. Crank up the Goa trance and let him spin around the living room. He already has the pacifier.

Available at Jewish Book House, $4.79 plus shipping.

Jewish Major Leaguers Baseball Cards, Collectors Edition

“OMG, Dad, you spent $918 for this?! Why? Why do you expect me to live your dreams? I hate baseball! I just want to dance!”

Available at Amazon.com, $918 plus shipping.

Kosherland

From the product description: “Travel through KosherTown—pass by Bubby, the Kiddush Ocean, and Matzah Man—but don’t listen to the Latke Men Marching Band or you might get stuck in the honey! Be the first to make it to the kosher home, and you win!” But what if I pass the pig-trotter tortelloni with mustard broth and daikon at Momofuku?

Available at Amazon.com, $9.47 plus shipping.

Hanukkah Harry

Are you secretly jealous of the O’Shaughnessys’ Christmas decorations? The cure for what ails you is a seven-and-a-half foot, menorah-totin’ Jewish snowman perched on a dreidel! What child won’t be thrilled to find this giant creature looming in his front yard? What yearning-to-assimilate teen won’t be mortified to have friends drive past her home this holiday season? Nothing contributes to in-group identification like humiliation!

Available at Hanukkah Harry, $139.95 with free shipping.

Talking Queen Esther Doll

Um, are you sure you won a beauty pageant? Were the other contestants. . .biological women?

Available at Amazon.com, $19.99 plus shipping.

As elsewhere in China’s manufacturing universe, mistrust and secrecy are rife in the shadowy world of dreidel production. American importers zealously guard the identities of those Chinese suppliers who provide swindle-free, dependable-quality goods. Then there are the manufacturers themselves, whose levels of distrust rise exponentially in the face of an outsider’s non-business inquiries about religion and culture.

“Hello?” chirped a perky Cantonese voice when we called earlier this week.

“Hi, I was wondering about the spinning tops your company makes for Jewish people.”

“For Jewish….? How did you get this number? Uh….yes, we make those. But I don’t know what they’re used for,” confessed the sales rep.

“It’s a game they play around Christmas time, for their own holiday.”

“What? Really? That’s interesting, I don’t know any Jewish people. Are there lots of Jewish people in the U.S.?”

“Yeah. Lots of dreidels.”

“But…you’re not Jewish, right?”

“No,” replied this article’s Cantonese co-conspirator. “But there are Jews in Hong Kong too.”

“Really?” And then, the bottom line: “Do they need dreidels too?”

A little while later, our helpful rep called us back with a verdict.

“I’m sorry, the boss says you cannot visit to see our products. He doesn’t want to interview because he’s a bit concerned that your Jewish friend will feel insulted by his ignorance of this object. If it’s religious he doesn’t want to offend anyone. We have no idea what this object is.”

After many unreturned calls, excuses real or feigned, and numerous flat-out refusals, another company’s marketing manager reluctantly agreed to a meeting on the condition of strict anonymity. A rendezvous was arranged in an upscale office building on the Kowloon Peninsula, with the contact crankily noting that he’d specially bring a few samples of the merchandise to the showroom.

And that’s how a Cantonese girl and a Jewish guy came to visit a Hong Kong dreidel manufacturer.

The elevator’s parting doors revealed a windowed office corridor, panes of glass protecting displays of playthings destined for all corners of the globe. Next to some toys bound for Germany, a door opened to expose a harried-looking Hong Kong man in designer glasses. He sounded even less amused in person than he had over the phone: “You’re here for the spin-dice?”

We perused a selection of plastic injection molded dreidels while our host tried to couch this unfamiliar word in familiar Chinese syllables: “jeui-lei-douh” he tried in Cantonese, then “du-lei-du-le,” in Mandarin.

“I just call them spin-dice,” he concluded. “And no, I don’t know how to play. Stop asking.”

OK, so on to more practical matters. “Our American client is a religious man, and we met at a trade fair,” our host explained. “These designs are proprietary. He holds the patents, and we don’t include these products in our regular catalogue. He is a serious man, and I think most Jews have beards and small hats and are good businessmen.”

Playing dreidel, we explained, is a little bit like the not-quite-kosher Cantonese party game “Fish, Shrimp, Crab.” Some money in the middle, win or lose according to the dice. Or the letters written on the sides of a spin-die. Which, by the way, is normally made of wood. Or clay.

“Made of wood? Spin-dice? That must be factories in a different part of the country. Our factory is in an area that does more plastics. But we do good business shipping these once a year. There are many Jews in America.” He looked bored and angry.

Actually, we tell him, there are quite a few Jews in Hong Kong as well.

For just a moment, hostility abated. “Really? Do they need…jeui-lei-douhs?”

He distractedly spun a large, hollow, sparkly pink number, landing on the “hay.”

“Did I win?” he asked.

“Well kind of,” offered the Jewish guy. “You get half of…of…” Suddenly, chocolate money felt a bit daunting to explain.

As the man’s patient sense of novelty wore thin, common ground surfaced in Hongkongers’ avid appetite for movies.

“Woody Allen?” he asked. “So, you’re saying he plays spin-dice?”

“He probably does, or did,” we said.

Time’s up. “Why are you interested in a bunch of dice?” our host asked, as he ushered us swiftly to the exit. “Well,” explained the Jewish guy, “it’s interesting to see our culture in other parts of the world, maybe?” The Cantonese girl chimed in: “If you saw a bunch of people in Africa playing ‘Fish, Shrimp, Crab,’ wouldn’t you think it was strange?”

He halted in the doorframe, and glared: “No.”

Nick Frisch is based in Beijing, and Bourrée Lam in Hong Kong.