Hard To Say I’m Sorry

In the season leading up to Yom Kippur, Jews are supposed to apologize to all those we have wronged in the previous year. But what does that look like in practice? What happens when an apology goes wrong? What happens when we’ve done something so awful we can’t face the other person? What happens when somebody apologizes to us—and we can’t forgive?

Tablet’s new podcast Unorthodox is back this week with a very special episode, featuring three stories to get you in the mood for Yom Kippur (chipper, right?). Apology expert Marjorie Ingall, who writes about apologies at SorryWatch, also offers her five rules for what makes a good apology.

Our first story is from Unorthodox host Mark Oppenheimer. He describes the worst thing he ever did, which happened when he was 10 years old, and involved crank phone calling, sex, and lies. Tablet contributor Shira Telushkin tells the story of an ex-boyfriend, an apology, and her own struggle to forgive. Tablet’s art director Esther Werdiger talks about a difficult apology to an old grade-school friend, who lives many thousands of miles away and whom she has not seen in years. Expecting forgiveness, she gets … something else.

Tell us what you think of Unorthodox: Email [email protected] with comments, questions, or even voice memos. We’ll read (or play) our favorites on the air.

Unorthodox is a smart, fresh, fun weekly take on Jewish news and culture hosted by Mark Oppenheimer, Stephanie Butnick, and Liel Leibovitz. You can listen to individual episodes here or subscribe on iTunes.