What Would Chaos Look Like In a Trump Presidency?

Welcome back to #TrumpWatch, where Tablet will present the daily low-lights of Donald Trump’s attempt to use the dark forces of bigotry to become President of the United States.

Today we begin with a quote from Tom Metzger, the founder of the White Aryan Resistance, who told the New York Daily News, “I do not support Donald Trump, but I do support the CHAOS (sic) he brings in his wake. David Duke is, as always, an ambulance chaser and has ruined careers several times before, just to build a mailing list.”

And what exactly would CHAOS look like in a Donald Trump presidency?

This is an evocative question. Based upon what he has already said, specifically about his foreign policies in dealing with ISIS, Trump would probably “bomb the shit out of [people],” which would surely cause a large amount of chaos.

Or maybe CHAOS, as defined under a Trump presidency, would be about building, as one does with Legos. But these Legos would be big Legos and they would form a fence to keep out those drug-running rapist-criminals from Mexico (though “some, I assume, are good people”). Or maybe the CHAOS under a Trump presidency is simply keeping Muslim immigrants out of the U.S.

But let’s consider said CHAOS in light of Thursday’s eleventh Republican debate, in which Trump confirmed, as is traditional in conversations of national importance, that the size of his hands is not quite comparable to the size of his johnson. A graded review on the prominent conservative blog Ace of Spades showed that, if CHAOS under a Donald Trump presidency feels like what it is like to watch him, well, “debate,” then things might become downright WEIRD and maybe even a little FUN to watch.

His answers to questions about Trump University and the budget were somewhat uncomfortable to watch, in much the same way that it is uncomfortable to watch a bus full of circus clowns crash into a school for blind children and even worse the clowns were doing their “Gasoline Comedy” act that day and now all the blind children are on fire and the clowns are trying to squirt water on them with their stupid lapel-flowers but the flowers are just squirting out more gas and the children are crying tears of fire out of their Unseeing Dead Eyes and holy shit a couple of the clowns look like they have boners and they’re chasing around the fiery blind children trying to rub up on them with these bobbling clown-boners with big red bulbs on their tips.



In other words, as Trump would say: Not the best. Really not terrific. A real mess!



Grade: I don’t even know how to even start grading this. As far as a letter grade, I give a red X carved crudely through the face of a rotting pig with a bunch of stripper-glitter tossed on it.

So there you have it.

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