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Nonsense Haikus, Using the Tweets of Donald Trump

Social media is Trump’s best friend. Let’s put his short jabs together.

by
Jonathan Zalman
March 16, 2016
Rhona Wise /AFP/Getty Images
Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump addresses the media following his victory in the Florida state primary in West Palm Beach, Florida, March 15, 2016. Rhona Wise /AFP/Getty Images
Rhona Wise /AFP/Getty Images
Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump addresses the media following his victory in the Florida state primary in West Palm Beach, Florida, March 15, 2016. Rhona Wise /AFP/Getty Images

Welcome back to #TrumpWatch, where Tablet presents the daily low-lights of Donald Trump’s attempt to use the dark forces of bigotry to become President of the United States. Today, as Trump revels in Tuesday’s wins in the primaries in Florida, Illinois, North Carolina, and (by a hair) Missouri, let’s not forgot that the Republican frontrunner is a world-class insulter. Because, believe me, it’s politics.

Perhaps nowhere more does Trump fire insults than on his Twitter page. The folks at the New York Times‘ Upshot have done a fantastic job of scraping all of them and organizing them into categories based upon the people, places, and things that Trump has, well, insulted, via jabs as wide and strong as 140 characters will allow.

Trumps speeches and books and tweets have been put into poem form already, thanks to a book called The Bard of the Deal, which came out in December. Trump’s march toward the Republican nomination continues, however, three months later, and therefore, so do his insulting tweets. Here, then, are some nonsense haikus using Donald Trump’s actual Twitter nonsense insults, as close to verbatim as possible, to highlight some of his nonsense views in case you’ve forgotten them.

Here’s one called, “Nonsense.”

Dummy, know nothing,
We have a massive muslim
problem, can’t you see?

Here’s another one called “Nonsense #2.”

Here’s one more, called “Nonsense #3.”

I will, I will, now
Make America Great A-
gain, or worse, big sad

Jonathan Zalman is a writer and teacher based in Brooklyn.