Welcome back to #TrumpWatch, where Tablet presents the daily low-lights of Donald Trump’s attempt to use the dark forces of bigotry to become President of the United States.

Today, let’s review some of the recent news coming out of the GOP race, which, of late, has centered on a he-said-he-said feud, battery on a reporter, and punishment for women who get illegal abortions. These are serious issues wrapped up in a circus, but hey: it’s fun to watch! Look! Over there! It’s a presidential candidate talking about the more -than-adequate size of his private parts! I can’t believe he had the nerve to say that! I wonder if it’s true! It has to be! He said it and he says to believe him! Look! It’s a plane! I’ve been on one of those! Yeah Trump’s a bit scary, with his desire to fence-build and police Muslims entering the country, but he makes deals! He’s going to solve the Israeli-Palestinian conflict with a handshake! He’s so funny and daring on Twitter! So brash, so brazen, so AMERICAN!

OK, I digress. I’m sorry. I got distracted. Where was I? Oh yes, the serious issues.

Last week, Trump and his rival Ted Cruz battled over how their wives look, and who threw the first punch. Then we learned that Trump’s campaign manager, Corey Lewandowski, who grabbed a reporter earlier this month as she tried to ask the Republican frontrunner a question in Florida, is being charged with battery.

And this week, Trump said he’s believes that women should receive “some form of punishment” for illegal abortions. Then, facing a backlash, Trump reversed course, saying “like Ronald Reagan, I am pro-life with exceptions,” and that it’s the “doctor or any other person performing this illegal act upon a woman” who would be help legally responsible, “not the woman.”

OK, got it. Thanks for clearing that up. This is different. But that’s Trump. That’s what it means to be presidential: fluid, smooth under pressure, plane-owning, able to roll with the punches, on Twitter.

Wisconsin, you’re up.

Related: Trump Watch [Tablet series]