You guys, we need a distraction today, right? God knows I do. On Facebook, one weirdo I refused to go out with in 8th grade ranted to me about how the Clintons are murderers (who have also, apparently, robbed him of his ability to understand basic spelling or the concept of homophones), while others have touted with glee our new president-elect Donald Trump. Gulp. So, we need something positive and sunny and uncontroversial that we can all get behind, right? Ok, I got you.
Gal Gadot, the newly minted Wonder Woman by way of Tel Aviv—actually Rosh HaAyin but whatever, everything in Israel is basically 15 minutes away from everything else—is having a brand-new Wonderbaby! That’s right! She and her husband, Israeli real estate developer Yaron Versano, announced via Instagram (where all such announcement shall henceforth be made) that they are currently expecting their second child. Hurray! The year 2017, while possibly also the year our republic ends, plunging us into a race war and possible dystopian genocide, will also boast a bumper crop of new babies from Tablet favorites. Don’t forget, Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis are pregnant too. So there’s that; there are lots of new little Jewish glamour princes and princesses coming down the pike. Life goes on.
Which is really the whole point. No matter how bad things get in the weeks to come, or the four years to come, or the eight years to come, now that that shadowy cabal led by George Soros, Janet Yellen, and Lloyd Blankfein, has been overtaken, giving credence to the likes of Curt Schilling and the KKK, whose platform became an actual platform on the coattails of Trump’s rhetoric—
—No, no. No, no, no. I said I wasn’t going to do this. I promised myself I’d calm down if Mr. Trump became Mr. President-elect. I promised myself I’d quell my fears of a blond man wanting to control what I can and cannot do with my body, kick out immigrants, overturn gay marriage. I promised myself I wouldn’t freak if Trump won, putting into jeopardy any sort of social progress that itself came years and years too late.
OK, back to the babies and silver living. There’s something a little bit reassuring about the idea that the sun will come up and we will all still eat breakfast and our car leases will stand and we’ll still be able to use hard currency (although if I said I hadn’t delayed adding to my investment portfolio until the election results are in, I’d be lying.) And babies, the ultimate act of optimism, will still be born. It’s up to us to make sure their lives will be worth living. But they’ll live them nonetheless. And on that happy note, mazel tov, Wonder Baby! To many, many, many more.