An affair between a Palestinian bagger and a Jewish cashier in a settlement supermarket has prompted one chain to cease employing baggers (except during the extra-busy Wednesday and Thursday evening shifts, when there is no time for socializing). We happened to overhear one conversation on a recent Thursday night, in fair Gush Etzion where we lay our scene …

But, soft! what light through yonder produce aisle breaks?
It is the Middle East, and Juliet is the sun.
Arise, fair sun, and suicide-bomb the envious moon,
Who is already sick and pale with grief.
Her vestal livery is but green like the flag of Hamas.
And none but zealots do wear it; cast it off.
It is my lady, O, it is my love!
O, that she knew she were, should Rabbi Pearl so permit.
See, how she leans her cheek upon her cash register!
O, that I were a key upon that register,
That I might touch that cheek!


She speaks:
O, speak again, bright Jewish angel! for thou art
As glorious to this settlement supermarket
As is a bearded Jew with an Uzi
Unto the white-upturned wondering eyes
Of Arabs that fall back to gaze on him
When he bestrides by the soft beverages
And tastes a few grapes without paying.

O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?
Deny thy people and refuse thy name;
Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love,
And I’ll no longer be an Israeli Jew.
‘Tis but thy name that is my enemy;
Thou art thyself, though not a Palestinian.
What’s a Palestinian? it is nor hand, nor foot,
Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part
Belonging to a man. O, be some other name!
What’s in a name? that which we call hummus
By any other name would taste as savory;
So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call’d,
Retain that dear perfection which he owes
Without that title. Romeo, remove thy kaffiyeh, doff thy name,
And for that name which is no part of thee
Take all myself.

Wat eez dees? Rabbi say: ‘Jew only talk to Palestinian on Wednesday und Tursday, when supermarket beezy.’ Beck to work. I no pay you to love.

Affair Between an Arab Bagger and Jewish Cashier Roils West Bank Settlements [Haaretz/Failed Messiah]