Readers of the tree-busting Friday New York Times were treated to a special section focused specifically on retirement. Among the features was an article about how to avoid being impulsive in your golden years; another story diagrammed the new trend among retirees of moving away with friends so they won’t be forced to meet new people.

All well and good, but the Times is shirking its responsibility as a daily magazine of Jewish life and culture. As another one, we thought we’d offer their assignment desk a few headlines to get them going:

“How to Investigate Your Children’s Lives on Facebook”
“Doris Lipkin Introduces Obama at Boca Mah-jongg Club, Fueling VP Speculation”
“Retired or Just Tired?”
“Krav Maga: The New Israeli Dance Craze”
“That Jonathan Safran Foer Is No Nicole Krauss”
“SodaStreams: Not Worth the Hassle”
“She Was Wearing WHAT to Shul?”
“I’m Voting for the Jewish Girl from Minnesota”
“Who Can Retire Anymore?”

Friday Reading: How To Avoid Impulse Moves in Investing [NYT Bucks]
A Retirement Home with Familiar Neighbors [NYT]