Self-Portrait as a Sovereign

I will not track my steps. 
I will not cite my sources. 
I will not file my alter ego with the SEC.
I will not use Kindle. 
I will not join Mastodon. 
I will not complain about those who complain about babies in first class. 
I will not read Loeb Classics on the beach. 
I will not read in the bathroom. 
I will not buy a scooter. 
I will not take a selfie with a chatbot. 
I will not eat the bugs. 
I will not breathe the air. 
I will not drink sparkling water. 
I will not become a brand. 
I will not listen to a guided meditation. 
I will not become who I truly am. 
I will not go viral. 
I will not be a genius. 
I will not recommend anything. 
I will not wear green carnations. 
I will not refrain from wearing them. 
I will not honk if I oppose the war in Iraq. 
I will not donate Doge to Ukraine. 
I will not teach global leaders to analyze the midwit meme.
I will not call myself a Deleuzian.
I will not write odes to deadlifting. 
I will not sell my passport for the Kingdom of Heaven. 
I will not make empty promises to save my art. 
I will not brush my teeth with sand. 
I will not call Eve Adam’s side hustle. 
I will not pawn my childhood memories for a used copy of Outliers. 
I will not pretend to be self-made.
I will not book an out-of-body experience on Airbnb. 
I will not say that ghosts are tricks of the eye.
I will not pronounce Nietzsche Niche.
I will not win an argument by appealing to etymology. 
I will not crowdfund my book on Celan and Maimonides.
I will not bathe in ink.
I will not track my steps.