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The Grave Outdoors

To the neurotic urban parent, Sukkot might as well be called Booths of Death

Marjorie Ingall
September 20, 2010

Most of us, at least here in New York City, lead lives divorced from nature. We are hermetically sealed in our climate-controlled homes and minivans, safe from the terrors of the outside world. But Sukkot is an opportunity to get in touch with the wilds of nature. And for parents weaned on the “hidden dangers” stories screaming from the pages of parenting magazines, a sukkah is nothing but a thatch-topped deathtrap. Behold, the seven top risks lurking in your backyard! (Click around the illustration to find the risks!)

1. Rabid squirrels hiding in s’chach

7. Cushions of indoor-outdoor picnic furniture offer succor to bedbugs brought in on hapless guest’s pants, whence they are certain to wend their way into child’s bed, feed upon child’s blood

Illustration by Will Horton

Marjorie Ingall is a columnist for Tablet Magazine, and author of Mamaleh Knows Best: What Jewish Mothers Do to Raise Successful, Creative, Empathetic, Independent Children.

Marjorie Ingall is a former columnist for Tablet, the author of Mamaleh Knows Best, and a frequent contributor to the New York Times Book Review.

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