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A Very Prolific Mohel

At the forefront of Ukrainian circumcision needs

Marc Tracy
August 17, 2011
A Jewish ritual circumcision.(Wikipedia)
A Jewish ritual circumcision.(Wikipedia)

Congratulations to Lubavitcher Rabbi (and Dr.) Yaacov Gaissinovitch, a Ukrainian mohel who just performed his 4500th bris.

A few punchlines (from various Nextbook/Tablet Magazine staffers) come to mind.

“I just performed my 4500th bris, and all I got was this lousy foreskin.”

“I just performed my 4500th bris, and boy are my arms tired!”

“Time to cut out.”

“His number will be retired and his jersey will be lofted into the rafters of the Moscow synagogue.”

“The record for most circumcisions in a single day is still held by King David, who collected 200 Philistine foreskins to King Saul to win the right to marry Saul’s daughter, but it has long been believed that the great Psalmist was aided by illegal performance-enhancing substances.”

“He beats the old record of 4200 set in the 19th century, but you can’t really compare because the season is much longer today.”

“I wonder if he works for tips?”

But leave your own jokes in the comments. Remember that brevity is the soul of wit, and also of painless circumcisions.

Marc Tracy is a staff writer at The New Republic, and was previously a staff writer at Tablet. He tweets @marcatracy.