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AFL Football Team To Be Named for Kiss

The New York rock band is getting an LA team

Adam Chandler
August 15, 2013
(Getty Images)
(Getty Images)

As if the Arena Football League weren’t already strange enough, the gimmicky football league which features teams like the New Orleans VooDoo, the Iowa Barnstormers, and the San Jose SaberCats, is starting a new franchise in football-starved Los Angeles.

What will they name the team? The Stars? No. The Traffic? No. The ‘So What Have You Been In?’ No. No. No. No. No. Presenting…instead…for reasons unclear..the Los Angeles Kiss.

The league made the announcement on Thursday. Season tickets will be available for $99 and inaugural season seat holders will be invited to a free Kiss concert at Honda Center next year.

Sweet. Kiss at the Honda Center and arena football? I have a few other questions:

If Kiss is from New York, why on earth is the team based in Los Angeles?

Will there be a Jewish duet between Kiss’ Israeli-born lead singer Gene Simmons and Rush’s Geddy Lee during halftime of the first matchup between the L.A. Kiss and the Chicago Rush?

What kinds of concessions will they serve at Kiss games?

Aside from a mutual love of shoulder pads, what do Kiss and Arena League football have in common anyway?

The AP article (sort of) explained the connection:

Founding band members Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley are fans of the league that features 50-yard fields and high-scoring offenses.

Well, we already knew they were into scoring. Congrats, Los Angeles!

Adam Chandler was previously a staff writer at Tablet. His work has appeared in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, the Atlantic, Slate, Esquire, New York, and elsewhere. He tweets @allmychandler.