New York’s Eldrige Street Synagogue will stage its annual Egg Rolls & Egg Creams Festival on Sunday. It’s a community celebration that nods to the fact the shul’s 1887 Lower East Side building now sits in the middle of Chinatown. Below, what we have to imagine are alternative names for the event, which synagogue leaders considered and, perhaps wisely, rejected.
Wonton & Kreplach Festival
Potato & Scallion Pancake Festival
Tripe & Kishke Festival
Cholent & Chow Mein Festival
Double Cooked Pork & Yesterday’s Reheated Chicken Festival
Beef & Duck Tongue Festival
Whole Steamed & Gefilte Fish Festival
Brisket & Bean Curd Festival
Grandma’s & General Tso’s Chicken Festival
Corned & Orange Beef Festival
Matzo & Fish Ball Festival
Chop Suey & Chopped Liver Festival
Five Spiced Beef & Alka-Seltzer Festival
Egg Rolls & Egg Creams Festival [EldridgeSteet.org]
Gabriel Sanders is Tablet’s director of business development.