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Sexiest Man Alive? Laurent Can Do Better

A modest suggestion

by
Marc Tracy
December 01, 2011
Mélanie Laurent in June.(Julien M. Hekimian/Getty Images)
Mélanie Laurent in June.(Julien M. Hekimian/Getty Images)

Word is that Bradley Cooper, the American actor, stepped out in Paris with Mélanie Laurent, the French actress who most famously played the Jewish owner of the movie theater in Quentin Tarantino’s Inglorious Basterds. The gossip-ready angle is that Cooper had been with Jennifer Lopez, but they split, and now she is hot and heavy with her 24-year-old back-up dancer (see all the things you can learn from Page Six?). Now that is how you rebound. And if Cooper can pull off the same thing with Laurent, more power to him.

Except, no. Cooper sounds like a cad. (“I don’t see myself as a ladies’ man,” he says, “but I love women.” Dude.) And Laurent is too good for this. She is not the equivalent of a 24-year-old back-up dancer. She is an extremely talented actress. She directs. She makes music. She was the official hostess of the last Cannes festival. She … looks like that. And did I mention she’s Jewish? (Ashkenazic and Sephardic!)

A suggestion for Laurent: the guy may be fluent in French, and he may be alright-looking or whatever, but why not ditch him for someone who’s not just trying to get back at the Bronx Bombshell? Someone who really appreciates you? What I mean to say is, once you start seeing an interested nice Jewish boy, you’ll never go back. If I meet any, I’ll introduce you.

And anyway, are you so sure you’re Cooper’s type?

Marc Tracy is a staff writer at The New Republic, and was previously a staff writer at Tablet. He tweets @marcatracy.

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