My Trumped Up Jewish Fantasy, From A to Z
What would a rally look like, were Trump and his followers to reverse course entirely, and vow to perform only acts of lovingkindness?
April 04, 2016
Donald Trump’s far-right turn on reproductive rights has forced the Republican frontrunner into reverse, if even just a bit. Given that the unimaginable is quickly becoming political reality, a Jewish feminist can’t be faulted for imagining a world to come in which Trump atones for his political sins and vows to reverse his course.
Inspired by his daughter, Ivanka, and the bris of his grandson, he might ask his followers at a rally not to raise their hands in fascist fashion, but rather to make a fist and lightly pound their breasts as Jews do when reciting the vidui, or confession, on Yom Kippur. At this rally, he and his followers would vow to clean up their act and learn a thing or two from progressive Jewish values. As one, they would promise to:
Act notoriously, in the ethical tradition of Ruth Bader Ginsburg
Bring comfort to those who are mourning the death of civility in the public square
Cherish freedom of the press
Defend religious freedoms
Eschew torture
Fact Check
Give back ill-gotten gains from a university undeserving of that name
Honor smart, mouthy women, especially when they ask hard questions or insist that the campaign keeps its hands off all female body parts, including arms and ovaries
Incite tolerance, respect for difference, and chesed (lovingkindness)
Judge themselves as harshly as they judge others
Kindle light
Listen to diverse voices, not just those in their own heads
Measure a man by the depth of his wisdom rather than the size of his penis
Nix building walls, and build bridges instead
Object to sucker punching in their midst
Promote menschlichkeit (common decency), rather than shlonging
Quiet the bully within
Remember the inspired words of Emma Lazarus that welcomed immigrants to our shores
Shun those who practice a politics of hate
Talk substance not trash
Use resources to proclaim “You’re Hired,” rather than “You’re Fired”
Vote for tampons to be covered by Medicaid and food stamps
Work within the limits of international military laws
X-ray hands, feet, and genitalia—and then keep pictures to themselves
Yield the nomination to the candidate most qualified to unite and redeem the party of Lincoln
Zap the Islamophobes and anti-Semites in their midst
Related: Trump Watch [Tablet series]
Helene Meyers, professor of English at Southwestern University, is the author of Identity Papers: Contemporary Narratives of American Jewishness. She blogs for Lilith Magazine.
