Some sad, sick souls (or industrious, patient Huffington Post editors) have assembled the supercut to end all supercuts. You’re reading this right: Every stammer from every Woody Allen film ever has been condensed into a paltry 45 minutes of discomfort.
The achs, hacks, ergs, gurps, and other irreducible noises are here from the past half-century of Woody madness. The Huffington Post explained the undertaking thusly:
The 2 editors Oliver Noble and Ben Craw who worked on this, started the project a couple of months ago. But were working on it on and off as other projects popped up in the meantime. They split the movies in half – Ben started with Woody’s oldest movies and worked forward in time, Oliver started with his most recent and worked backwards and they met somewhere in the mid 80s, then refined it and polished it together. It was a very time consuming team effort.
Yeah, I bet. One commenter and supercut expert estimated that the project took 220 hours to finish. And now, here it is. Let the soundtrack to your nightmares begin.
Let us know how far you make it!
Adam Chandler was previously a staff writer at Tablet. His work has appeared in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, the Atlantic, Slate, Esquire, New York, and elsewhere. He tweets @allmychandler.