Russia has a spotty history when it comes to corrupt regimes. But never before have they targeted yogurt.
Yes, yogurt. Chobani Greek Yogurt specifically. A massive shipment of these protein-rich, creamy snacks are being held hostage in a temperature-controlled storage unit near Newark Liberty Airport, the New York Times reports. The yogurt, intended for the United States Olympic Team, of which it is a sponsor, had already been given USDA approval when the embargo ensued. The shipment is being blocked due to a need for “special certification,” according to the Russian government agency in charge of, you guessed it, yogurt border-control.
New York Democratic Senator Chuck Schumer is hoping to smooth out the dairy debacle, which has also gotten the attention of the White House. “Chobani Yogurt is safe, nutritious and delicious and the Russian Authorities should get past ‘nyet’ and let this prime sponsor of the U.S. Olympic Team deliver their protein-packed food to our athletes,” Schumer said in a statement.
“I’d like to think that yogurt could have diplomatic immunity,” Peter McGuinness, Chobani’s chief marketing and brand officer, told the Times.
All jokes aside (though should he really be joking at a time like this?), it remains questionable whether or not a cup of Chobani yogurt will be enough to re-arrange Russian attitudes and get the hostage yogurt released. Even blueberry.
Here’s a glimpse at happier days this week for Chobani enthusiasts (though not Denver Broncos fans):
Related: Why We Won’t Be Covering Sochi
Hannah Dreyfus is an editorial intern at Tablet.