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The Breakdown: Mofaz vs. Kardashian

Analyzing the break-ups

Adam Chandler
July 17, 2012

The hot news today from Israel is the very public break-up of Kadima Chair Shaul Mofaz and Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. OMG Haval! 🙁

While word gathers about the future of Bibi’s coalition and its impact on Israel, The Scroll would like to take a fierce look at how this shammy tale of political heartbreak stacks up against the Kim Kardashian/Kris Humphries calamity of last year:

KK: Kim | KH: Kris | SM: Shaul | Beebs: Bibi

Total Days Official (TDO):
KK/KH: 72
SM/Beebs: 70

Um, Who Left Whom: (UWLW)
SM/Beebs: SM

Final Straw: (FS)
KK/KH: Cause Kim’s “intuition” told her so
SM/Beebs: Failure of Universal National Service Law

New Boo: (NB)
KK: Kanye West
KH: Fatmire ‘Myla’ Sinana (reportedly)
SM: Knesset Opposition, Israeli Left, Tzipi Livni
Beebs: Ultra-Orthodox

Break-up Bounty: (BB)
KK: $2 million ring
KH: $24 million contract with New Jersey Nets
SM: 28 seats
Beebs: Ideological Reins

Break-up Loss: (BL)
KK: Integrity
KH: Net worth drop
SM: Vice Prime Minister Status
Beebs: Super-coalition (94 seats down the 66)


Based on the above-listed factors, with weighted emphasis placed on factors New Boo (NB) & Break-up Bounty (BB), it looks like Beebs and KK have won their respective break-ups. However, these results seem tenuous based on long-terms projections. So stay tuned!

Adam Chandler was previously a staff writer at Tablet. His work has appeared in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, the Atlantic, Slate, Esquire, New York, and elsewhere. He tweets @allmychandler.

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