Yesterday, on the Jewish Sabbath, Donald Trump spoke at a nondenominational church in Detroit, in an attempt to reach out to African-American voters. Analysts have since debated whether the address and its message might improve Trump’s abysmal poll numbers among black voters. But we’re more interested in how this happened:
Here are the five most reasonable explanations for this incident, in order of truthfulness:
5. The event was held under the auspices of a philo-Semitic church, which has adopted some Jewish rituals, and whose pastor gave the Jewish prayer shawl to Trump.
4. Trump thought the disguise would get him into our secret meetings. (It won’t.)
3. Trump was trying to rustle up a minyan for Mincha.
2. Trump was finally embracing his role as a fringe candidate.
1. Trump wanted to put on tefillin (phylacteries), but they didn’t have any that fit his tiny, tiny hands.
Whatever the explanation, we’re sending thoughts and prayers to pro-Trump Nazi Twitter at this trying time.