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The Jews for Tim Tebow Conspiracy

The Jets second-string quarterback allegedly has a Jewish following

Adam Chandler
October 24, 2012
Tim Tebow(BleacherReport)
Tim Tebow(BleacherReport)

Metro has a “story” about the love that Jews have in their hearts for Jets back-up quarterback Tim Tebow. And what’s not to love? The son of missionaries, Tebow practices abstinence, appears in pro-life commercials during the Super Bowl, and thanks Jesus in every post-game interview—win, lose, or draw.

Fortunately for us, Jewcy has already got the coverage of the story, centered around the Facebook group “Jews for Tebow,” which has 4,000 members (about half of whom are reportedly Jewish).

But rather than focus on Tebow, I’d rather focus on how terrible this Metro story is.

Check out this mispluralization of Yiddish!

“Jews for Tebow” love this goyim just as much as the church faithful who adore him.

The mischaracterization of Jewish food!

The support of Tebow is dripping with irony thicker than a good matzo ball soup.

The questionable appropriation of religious items in an unattributed anecdote (emphasis mine)!

When the Jets held an open session of training camp at their New Jersey facility this past August, there was a Hasidic Jew walking around the practice field wearing a black brimmed hat and the traditional tefillin wrapped around his arm. But surprisingly, he was wearing a T-shirt with Tebow’s face and superimposed long curls coming down off his head, making the clean-cut Tebow look Hasidic. The shirt read “Jews for Tebow.”

Perhaps, most of all, I don’t want to believe that there is actually a real Jewish following for this guy. But as Marc Tracy explained, when Tebow arrived in New York, Tebow-mania became an entirely new ballgame, even for the Jews. Back when Tebow was still a Denver Bronco, Tracy also compellingly wrote:

As a secular humanist, Tebow’s public displays of religiosity discomfort me and his anti-choice politics—the message that his mother is just not just a fortunate, brave lady but actually a model for other women who might face a mortally dangerous pregnancy—appall me. As a Jew, I believe in an impersonal God who routinely cares not a whit for matters far more important than the AFC West, and who anyway did not send his only son to Earth as a sacrifice for Tim Tebow or anyone else. But as an American, I am happy that many people who would never even think about such things are confronted by them in the person of Tim Tebow. And, also as an American, I know that if God were to send Americans a sign that He exists and that the Christians are the ones who were right about Him all along, His messenger would undoubtedly be an NFL quarterback.

I suppose if he played for my team, I’d reconsider.

Adam Chandler was previously a staff writer at Tablet. His work has appeared in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, the Atlantic, Slate, Esquire, New York, and elsewhere. He tweets @allmychandler.